Happy Birthday Amy Sedaris!

March 29, 2006

It's Amy Sedaris' birthday and I'm in the mood to celebrate!

I am a "Strangers With Candy" superfan and she is the most consistently entertaining person I know, or will ever know. Here are some things that I love about her -- besides the fact that she is a comedic genius:

SHE ROCKS A ROCKING CHAIR
That lady will rock back and forth in her rocker for hours shooting the breeze about anything. She paces her conversation in the easy, breezy pace of her easy, breezy rocker. She is not afraid of a conversation full of long pauses. (I have a tendency to run from and fill pauses.)

25 CENT SALES
Occasionally when crossing Amy's threshold, you'll find a box full of goodies next to the door where she leaves items she no longer wants that are available for 25 cents apiece. Can't beat it!

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GLAAD AWARDS

March 28, 2006

Last night were the GLAAD Awards. The BRAVO crew was in full force joined by RUNWAY designers Emmett, Kara, and Daniel V (capped by pristine hair, natch). It was the first benefit I've been to where they start charging for wine after the first bottle.

Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas were at the table next to ours. I love them. Both have been pioneers in the fight for gay rights and a whole lot more. They seemed like they were there because they wanted to be. I wonder how they felt about buying the second bottle of wine.

QUEER EYE was nominated but unfortunately lost to an episode of 30 DAYS. Ang Lee was greeted by a rapturous ovation, Erasure performed, and the presenters included Soledad O'Brien, Wilmer Valderrama, and Petra Nemcova. It was a pretty long night and I would've settled for La Lucci.

I will report that the gift bag was among the heaviest I have ever received. I went through it when I got home and am keeping four items and sharing the rest with readers of Andy's Blog.

Gift bag from the GLAAD Awards:

Bright green Tommy Hilfiger duffel bag

3 pairs of Tommy Hilfiger Socks

Lots of pieces of paper representing coupons for various things

A GLAAD swim cap

Sweet Leaf Liquid Stevia tin of something

Phil Collins concert dvd

Tracey Ullman dvd

BLOW OUT dvd

Funky Bohemia

One hundred dollar gift certificate to a framing studio on Amsterdam Ave, NYC

Tylenol PM sampler

Plastic luggage tags from Sherman Travel

Sierra Swan Sampler CD

Etta James sampler CD

Violetta CD sampler

Chantal Chamandy CD

Anthoney Kao CD

Plumb CD

Variety from last Friday

Brokeback booklet

Scene magazine

Go magazine

People magazine

People en Espanol Magazine

GLAAD pamphlets

New York City Directions book

Night Out Booklet

Ameriprise advertorial

Garnier Fructis Shampoo

Garnier Fructis Conditioner

Redken extreme hold gel

LiftOff effervescent Energy Drink tablets

Redken shampoo

Astroglide Personal Lubricant

Anew Clinical Eye Lift

Hershey's Kissable candy coated mint kisses

Stila Lip Gloss

Deloitte Pen

Clif Bar

OPI Nail Polish

IBM pen

I am keeping the Brokeback book, the Astroglide, the Redken hair gel, and the socks -- and that's IT. If anyone EMAILS ME their name and address and what they want I will send it to them today! First come first serve! Don't say that Andy's Blog isn't the gift that keeps on giving!!

EMAIL ME

10 QUESTIONS WITH... MARY WILSON

March 20, 2006

Since her reign as the "sexy" Supreme, there were many potential endings to the Mary Wilson story. A likely scenario could've found Wilson stuffing her face with bon-bons and gaining 300 pounds with "Where Did Our Love Go" playing on an endless loop. Instead, she's written two bestselling books, got a degree from NYU, is lobbying Washington on behalf of the Truth in Music Bill, traveled the world as a cultural ambassador appointed by Colin Powell, and continues to tour nonstop! She lives in Vegas, where I called for a chat.

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I MET MADONNA

March 06, 2006

I spent the last 48 hours on social turbocharge with my sometimes sober, but always charged, pal Bruce experiencing the magic of Oscar weekend in LA, where anything can happen and you don't know who you'll meet or see. When else could I have possibly run into Keanu Reeves 4 times over 3 days?

The whole thing is pretty much one big blur. I know there were 3 big parties. I know that they were so good that at one point I looked around and saw Mick, the Brokeback Boys, George and Nicole and realized I was the only one looking at them. And I know that I wasn't invited because the hosts were looking for coverage in Andy's blog! If I blog about each one in aggressive detail I'll never get invited back!

I will report that I met two ladies along the way that rocked my world.

I am not talking about me and Cheryl Tiegs. I am not referring to the moment I told Ms. Carey, "Mariah, you're on fi-ah." I am not speaking of exchanging bon mots with Jackie and Joan Collins (the latter sporting a cowboy hat and her own hair.) I am not speaking of meeting Oprah bf Gayle King or when I insulted the First Lady of California with a faux pas too humiliating to report. .

I am speaking first of meeting Madonna.

I was in a heated conversation about plastic surgery with Sony Honcho Michael Lynton and his wife Jamie when I first spotted HER. Her Madgesty breezed by teeny, toned, and dressed in black with hair in full "Hung Up"/Farrah mode. I freaked.

I was in full orange terror alert and it was like a ring-and-run when I left the Lyntons in the dust, flew out of the conversation, and ran to find Bruce.

We found a spot nearby where we could watch her, and then a friend who volunteered to introduce us.

As our friend brought us over for the introducion, Bruce literally physically shoved past me in order to get to the lady. He almost stepped on me. It's nice to know that your best pal will be there looking out for number one when it's time to meet Madonna.

As far as the meeting itself there is actually painfully little to tell. Bruce had met her before and (crazily shared a dance with her) so he picked up the ball with their last meeting and was able to engage her sucessfully for a couple minutes as I stood frozen. As I kicked Bruce's shin, he turned to introduce me. "Madonna, this is my friend Andy," he said. He loved saying it as much as I loved hearing it. She was very nice with handshakes, lots of direct eye contact and introductions to her friend.

I didn't dare talk to her about anything I really wanted to. I don't think she wanted to discuss her hair in the "Sorry" video. I considered being a little nasty to her because I thought she might respect me more. I tried to interject a few jokes but they either weren't heard or fell flat. I mainly just stayed frozen.

A couple hours later she walked by us and we all clinked glasses. To Bruce she raised her glass and said, "Cheers, baby." I just got a clink and "cheers" and that was really all I needed. Cheers back, superstar, and by the way I am ready to leave the party now because what more can happen.

A lot more did happen hours later but none of it involved that Lady. I was talking to "Truth or Dare" director Alek Keshishian when, from afar, over tops of heads, I saw "the hair."

Miss Ross was smiling brightly. Radiant in tight black pants and top, long grey coat, chunky jewelry, superstar shades, and the hair.

The backstory here is that I have been a fanatic on several levels for this performer since I was 12 years old in St. Louis getting quizzical looks from my parents about their son putting up Diana Ross posters in his room.

I found my friend who'd intro'd us to Madonna and told him that I was back on Orange Alert and might need cpr if he didn't arrange an intro at the right time. An hour later I was summoned to meet the Supreme Being.

I was cool as a cucumber as I sat down with Miss Ross and her daughter Tracey. We talked about everything but the fact that I was a huge fan. I didn't want it to be a fan encounter. Five minutes later my friend Sandy Gallin joined us and said, "you know Andy is your biggest fan, right?"

My cover was blown but Ross loved it. I stayed another 45 minutes, fell in love with Tracey, got to ask her mom some real good fan Q's, and a friend came over and took some photos of us that I don't have permission to include on this blog!

In terms of the Oscars themselves:

I loved George Clooney's speech.

I'm wondering why Lauren Bacall didn't get a standing ovation. Were people waiting for Eric Bana?

Doesn't TAB's energy drink look fantastic?

Was Jessica Alba dangerously thin or was my plasma set on the "thin" function?

The best looking guy in the room wasn't George Clooney, but actually his companion and agent, Bryan Lourd.

God Bless Tomlin and Streep and doesn't Meryl look amazing?

"It's Hard out Here for a Pimp" was a wonderful addition to the evening and injection of class into an otherwise tasteless affair. Seriously, did I miss something? How is it possible that Dolly did not win this award?

I wish Jennifer Garner would have hit the dirt to really give us all something to talk about today.

Tomorrow: Report from inside the Vanity Fair party