TV in Real Time: Legends Ball

May 23, 2006

I got home from dinner last night around ten and checked my answering machine.

Beeep and it's Liza: "I just watched myself some 'Legends' and my face is full of tears. Totally went for it. Wish I was black. Call me."

Beeep and it's an actor friend in Connecticut: "Sweetie I am watching a little show called the 'Legends Ball' and it is gonna change your life. It is one crazy, crazy hour sweetie you got to call me right away."

Beeep and a Broadway Legend in the Hamptons reports on the carnage: "I think 'Legend' equals 'wig wearer' -- so many wigs Andy! There are three things to look out for: Angela Bassett reading poem at the luncheon. Angela Bassett reading the same poem at the dinner. And Gail sitting with the Youngins. If a 'Youngin' to Oprah means doing the placecards, fine. Otherwise I don't know why Gail's there. If Angela Bassett is not nom'd for an Emmy then there's no justice. I need to hear 'Angela Bassett for 'Legends Ball'’ among the nominees. Call me."

I dove for the remote and pressed play.

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TV in Real Time: Dynasty Reunion

May 03, 2006

As I sat and waited for the "Dynasty Reunion" to start last night, I was reminded of how fun it used to be to watch morons waste money in the 80s. There was a different "Decider" in the White House then but gas prices were a lot cheaper, maybe that has something to do with it.

As I watched a commercial for the "news" I became crazy thinking about how much cash is going I-don't-know-where these days.

How much did Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco get paid to reunite on "Entertainment Tonight", which begs the question: Is "Entertainment Tonight" the biggest freaking money-waster in the universe? Or do they have no shame for paying (six figures, right?) Amy and Joey to extend the circus through yet another sweeps cycle? Dumb question, I know.

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