Careless Whispers

August 30, 2006

It is very early in the morning and I am re-entering the Tri-State area with the following nonsense cluttering my head:

** I forgot to mention last week in my Mariahlogue that there were several occasions during her concert where she would be telling us lambs a story and step over to sip some water (out of a straw). The water was placed on a stool in front of one of several massive fans in front of the stage, so when she stood there talking she was in a wind tunnel and didn't realize we could hear the wind Mariah more than Mariah Mariah. But her hair did look great so I guess it didn't matter.

** I had breakfast with the inimitable new Bravo superstar Jackie "Work Out" Warner at the Four Seasons this morning. When she ordered fruit, cottage cheese, and absolutely no melons on her plate, my Bravo co-workers Cori and Frances and I all froze with glee that we'd been surreptitiously given powerful new info about the dangers of melons. Alas, when we asked Jackie what was wrong with them she told us that they're great but that she hates them. Ma-ha. Joke was on us. Jackie looked great, her business is booming and I don't know how she keeps it all together. She gets $400 bucks per session now. Good for her!

** Buckle up for a joyride on the Runway tonight because episode 308 is fun, fun, FUN for the whole family! Then again, I said that last week and almost had a hit taken out on me. Well, I watched it again on the plane tonight and enjoyed it all over again!

** Yesterday I alluded to having been talked into an impulse buy at Fred Segal without really telling the story. You deserve more. This has happened several times, but the worst occasion was in 1999ish when I was actually convinced that I looked amazing in, and that it would be perfectly acceptable for me to be seen in, a faux fur coat
with what I would consider Joan Crawfordy shoulder pads. I mean to tell you that I looked like a million dollar bill on that 78 degree day inside that store. I should've known that it was a trap because I'd been conned by this person several other times, but on smaller purchases. Needless to say, the minute I put the thing on in my apartment in NYC I freaked. I cannot convey how many levels of wrong this coat was. Hilariously, a few weeks later I was telling a
magazine editor friend the story of the impulse buy and he asked me who had sold this thing to me. I told him who it was and he went crazy because he'd been hawked the same fur by the same guy but they had just sold my pal's size a day before... to me! I told my friend that he should absolutely have this jacket -- that it was meant to be. Is it wrong that I sold it to him? (I didn't mark it up!)

** Why do I feel like I have spent much of my life in the new American Terminal at JFK? Is it because I hate the terminal so much that time goes by so slowly for those who wait? Was I born in St. Louis or in Terminal 9 at JFK? I also invariably get into a spat with the TSA person by the electronic doorway thing about taking my flip-flops off because they don't ever beep and I don't carry explosives in them and if I did they would beep and I don't want to
be barefoot on the floor of JFK, let alone that terminal. But it's all my problem for wearing flip-flops and for letting this terminal get the best of me so I shouldn't bring you all into my own private mess.

** Someone named Cool27 from SPAIN posted on Monday's blog about "Charlie's Angels." Yo Coolio, who are you and how in the universe did you find the Bravo website in Spain?

Emmy Weekend Hijinx

August 30, 2006

Emmy weekend, Runway loss aside, was actually pretty fun. It's like a populist version of the Oscars. Bruce was my companion for the weekend, so "Brandy" was out in full force.

Saturday was blazing hot and Brandy knew not what to do with ourselves. When you're in LA without a plan, there really is only one plan: Go straight to Fred Segal. We did, and bought various sundries. Bruce almost put down $400 smackers on a diamond-studded belt, but they only had it in brown. Impulse buys at Fred Segal, by the way, only look good in the store. When you get back to NYC (i.e. sanity) you curse the queen that tallked you into sacrificing dentalwork for, say, a faux fur coat for "men." I speak from experience, by the way.

Brandy drove aimlessly from there and wound up crashing the home of a sitcom superstar, demanded that he provide us with swimtrunks and beers, and instigated a full-on pool party to the bewildered surprise of the jettisoned jokester. Sufficiently entertained, we left to begin the evening with drinks at the intersection of now and now, Jeff Klein's Sunset Tower Hotel, where we joined Bravo Prexy Lauren Zalaznick and Sir Tim Gunn, who was fresh from Emmy Pre-show fashion drill camp.

From there we hit NBC's Emmy Nominees party at Spago. Yes, Heidi was there and so was Mariska (and Fertitska) and Mr. T and Kyle XY (isn't he on Disney?) and a slew of NBC stars. (I have no clue why Mr. T was there; he may have gotten the year wrong but it was good to see him.) The highlight for Brandy was kissing the ring of Miss Barbara Eden. She said we made her night.

On our way out, we ran smack into Nina Garcia and there were kisses flying everywhere. We all vowed to put a bookmark in our convo and resume at the Entertainment Weekly party across town. The EW soiree felt like TV's version of the Vanity Fair party, with an assemblage of Kyle XY (again, happily), Matthew Perry, Lauren Holly (wha?), Rebecca from "Work Out," Tina Fey, people from "Lost" and "Greys Anatomy" and every other person on every other show that I don't watch. As Bruce and I chatted with Runway EP Dan Cutforth and his happening ladygal Julie, we noticed that Lindsay Lohan was huddled next to us with a pal. I have no idea why Lohan was there amongst the TV folk, but we felt good about her making a makeshift camp by the dj booth, spinnin' and sidekickin' under a massive two story blowup of EW's current cover featuring Tim and Heidi. I didn't see no blowcaine.

Sir Tim was mobbed all night. For the 20 minutes that I stood with him, the likes of Anthony Michael Hall, Taye Diggs, Dennis Leary, and Amber "Joan of Arcadia" Tamblyn all came to pay their respects.

I met another Andy Cohen. This one is a movie producer. There's also an Andy Cohen who is an agent at ICM and another who is a mustachioed spiritual advisor. It's always fun and weird to meet another Andy Cohen. We are both at war and at peace.

It felt like a cavalcade of Bravo stars had descended on the party before midnight when I introduced Kathy Griffin to Tim Gunn as Jai Rodriguez looked on. Kathy was so excited to meet him. Jai, by the way, is about to really blow up on the Fox show "Duets" where he will be among a group of celebs paired with massive singing stars singing duets. Kinda like "Dancing with the Stars," but with singing, see?

The next night's Emmys speak for themselves. I was really psyched to meet Seal before the show. He is incredibly handsome and nice. All the Runway kids sat together and I leaned on Nina for fashion commentary throughout the show, which she freely gave. While I was transfixed by Jeremy Piven's hair system (pulleys n' plugs?), Nina was agape and agog at the ascot. It was a good show until Runway lost and we all went to the lobby bar to commiserate. It was there that I spied a cable prexy getting a girl on girl, lip-to-lip kiss from a reality superstar. And it was there that I witnessed a former pop tart trying to pick up my compainion, and half of Brandy, Bruce.

After the show and the Governor's Ball, Brandy split for the HBO party. It was wall-to-wall pink and green carpet and wretchedly perfect excess. There were crickets by the "Big Love" tables and crowds near Gandolfini and I got elbowed by Paris Hilton and we ran into Candy Spelling maybe 18 times in the course of an hour and reconnecting with Michael Patrick King was the highlight of the party.

And that was Emmy weekend.

Touched by the Angels

August 30, 2006

Last night a miracle happened at the Shrine Auditorium in Downtown LA. No, Runway didn't win an Emmy. We were beaten by "Amazing Race" and that sucked. But it was what happened right before our award was announced that helped dull the pain of losing for me.

A tribute to Aaron Spelling was begun by Heather Locklear and Joan Collins. Collins deserved an Emmy -- or at least a Daytime Emmy -- for simply GIVING IT in her delivery. And for her wig. She was a Carrington, a Colby, and a Dexter all wrapped in one.

The clip package was a collage of TV hits ending with "Charlie's Angels." The package concluded somewhat abruptly as the familiar CA theme-song played loudly for the audience. My date, Bruce Bozzi Jr., and I let out a gasp as the lights came up on the three original Angels walking down the stage, together again for the first time since maybe '76. We felt like the audience wasn't giving it up enough at first and were whooping and clapping like madmen. (Bruce and I feel personally responsible for rallying the crowd, by the way. But we might be a little crazy.)

This was a monumental reunion years in the making. I recently got the inside poop from someone involved in the "Charlie's Angels" films about all they'd gone through trying to get cameos from the three original icons. Kate was the big holdout, I learned. Classic Jackie Smith wound up making an angelic cameo in the gem "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle." More recently, a producer tried to get the gals together for a reunion show and again Kate was the reported holdout. Apparently the lady feels like she should be making something from the franchise that she (and the other girls, for that matter) is not.

In any case, there they finally were -- paying tribute to their maker. Kate went first and the way she was going on and on I concluded that she only agreed to appear if she was the sole speaker. Not so, because after a minute or so, Farrah took the center spot for her fairly lucid salute to Mr. S. She ended with an awkward but classic folded-hand-angel-prayer-stance to the heavens.

I thought Kate Jackson looked exactly like the Sabrina Duncan of yesteryear and Farrah's face seems to have "settled" somewhat. But the queen of the Angels was Jackie Smith, who, as far as I'm concerned, at this point could become the next Senator from New York with little campaigning. Attention K-Mart shoppers!

Smith was eloquent and soft-spoken, surrounded by a halo of that trademarked feathered chestnut hair. Her timeless face looks like a million dollar bill. (Is she married to a plastic surgeon or is that Vickie Principal? Or both?). What you didn't see watching at home was that the teleprompter went blank and Smith winged the speech. I don't know if she'd memorized it or what, but I was IN.

There was a telling moment where Kate, after spending about 20 seconds weirdly searching the crowd with a knowing smile, interjected "We're taking back the brand!" America is not begging that lady to take back the "Scarecrow and Mrs. Smith" brand so I see no problem with her getting a piece of the Angels.

When it was over, Bruce and I were drenched. My phone was full of text messages from Bravo Prexy Lauren Zalaznick, going insane 10 rows ahead, and Graciela and Liza, going insane in NYC. I said to no one and everyone around me "that was the greatest thing I've ever seen!" Kyle MacLachlan, who was seated next to me, looked at me like I was insane. "Well, top five," I qualified. I turned around to Nina Garcia and she was smiling ear-to-ear. She grew up with the Angels in Colombia!

Three minutes later, our category was up and we lost the Emmy. Thanks to the Angels, I was OK. About an hour later, I was cranky about it. There is lots to tell from Emmy weekend but I have to get some sleep.

Report from the Front: Mariah at MSG

August 30, 2006

Yes, I want to talk about Runway and I want to know what YOU thought of the show -- specifically how you felt about Jeffrey's relationship with his client, and about the fashions for the Everyday Woman. This is an episode the fans have been begging for, so I am curious to know how people thought it turned out. In the meantime.....

You can tell a lot about an artist by who goes to see them in concert, and last night's gathering of Mariah Carey fans at Madison Square Garden thusly featured big-haired exhibitionists who let it all hang out. There were people of every ilk from every borough and lots of girls dressed like Mariah. I am talking about some severe Messes in Dresses.

But the headlining Mess in a Dress was the queen of the night, and though most facets of the concert were insane, the lady won everybody over with her voice. You might think that the third-best-selling recording artist in HISTORY might be able to put together a cohesive "show," but that was not happening. The production values were nil and very 1995. While Janet will give you a circus onstage and dance her face off while not singing a word, Mariah doesn't dance a step, leaves the stage after every 2-3 songs, and her dancers are doing 25-year-old moves from "Solid Gold," but she actually sings every damn word of every damn song. And all the songs are number ones.

Mariah's costumes were essentially every variation of inappropriate excuses to show skin that we may not really want or need to see. There are sequined bikinis with sheer coats, bicycle shorts with bikini tops, and dresses in several colors with cutouts everywhere. It's fashion that LA-based soap stars might consider perfectly appropriate for the Soap Opera Digest Awards.

She really did sing her eight-octave face off, though. You forget that she's had so many huge songs and that each one ends with her wailing and wailing. Surrounded by bad taste and bad dancers and bad clothes and skin we just don't ever want to have to see again, the voice and the songs and the wailing re-engaged us all just as we were about to give up on her.

She had special guests coming out the entire night, like Da Brat and P. Diddy and Sean Paul and on and on. And, lucky for us, Mimi had a real, honest to goodness divafit onstage. She was about to sing single 13 from "Emancipation of Mimi" -- backed by a full choir -- when she stopped the show and asked where the preacher who went with the choir was. He was supposed to speak the first two lines of the single and the lady could not sing the song if these words were not spoken. She wanted, of course, for the song to be perfect for us NYC lambs.

A tech guy joined her onstage to tell her that no one could find the preacher man. I thought this entire situation was a pre-written "bit" and was only half paying attention. Bravo Exec Dave Serwatka kept pushing me and pointing onstage in amazement as I ignored him and told him this was not real. It was not a bit, though. We waited and
waited and she tried to vamp and tell us about the song and finally out stumbled the preacher man and they started over and i guess it was worth it for Mariah that we got to her his couple lines. We loved the diva moment, though, so it was worth it for us, too.

There was "Vision of Love" and "I'll be There" and "Hero" and "Fantasy" and "Honey" and "We Belong Together" and "One Sweet Day" and "Always Be My Baby" and her thanking LA Reid "for making this my 17th number one song" and then the whole thing ended with the crowd getting sprayed by purple paper butterflies as the backup ladies sang "Butterfly" and the lady no doubt changed into her apres-show fashion.

I still have some paper butterflies in my pocket which will go through the wash and stain my pants. And, as it should be, I will always remember the night Mariah stained my pants.

Runway Rage

August 17, 2006

I'm on vacation but I checked my email this morning because I knew what I would find: Pissed off emails from friends furious about Alison's auf'ing last night.

Randy said, "it's a good thing you are in Greece. Much easier to dodge the endless bricks that are going to be tossed your way as a result of booting alison. that particular decision makes me seriously question the motivation of the choices. total weirdness."

Gary emailed, "last week was maybe the best runway episode ever, but i am devastated about losing alison tonight..."

Kristen said, "Ok, for the 1st time I'm PISSED @ you guys! So lame not to get rid of Vincent. My super is a better designer. Boo to Bravo! (But I thought it was a good episode otherwise!)"

I am not going to defend the decision last night by the judges. When I saw the rough cut of the episode I called Nina Garcia to ask her what the judges were thinking. She told me how awful the dress looked going down the runway and how the panel all were disgusted by how the model looked from head to toe, and that it was Alison's fault for doing this to her model.

I am bummed out for the show that Alison is gone. She was one of my picks to go to fashion week. So the question becomes -- why choose Vincent over Alison? My answer is, "I don't know." The naysayers today will say that Vincent is great TV and that's why he's still on. IS HE, though? Would you rather watch Vincent than Alison? I personally would not. If it were up to me, I would've gotten rid of Vincent in Episode One with that lampshade on the model.

I was there for the scoring and I know that there was something in Vincent that the judges saw and forgave that I didn't agree with. Then again, I saw again from the first episode of the season that fashion is entirely subjective and that each of our judges represents a completely different point of view.

I know that Alison is showing at Fashion Week in September on her own and that she is at the beginning of a long career in fashion. It is the show's loss that she is gone.

Jackie Warner is H.O.T.

August 08, 2006

Work Out star Jackie Warner has become a household face in the course of three weeks. Last week's episode featured an incredibly frank discussion of her sexuality with her visiting (disapproving) mom that got people all over the place talking. It was real and raw, kinda like Jackie!

Bravo Superstars compare notes!

HEY JACKIE!

Hey Andy!

WHERE ARE YOU?

Driving to spin class!

SO HAS YOUR LIFE CHANGED IN THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS OR WHAT?

Oh, OK Andy, let me tell you what happened this weekend. I went to The Abbey -- the bar that transcends gay and straight, even though it's pretty gay. I was mobbed and I am not exaggerating. It was so surreal -- it's my hangout -- I go there all the time. People were running after me with cameras and taking pictures.... I can't tell you how surreal it was. Wow.

DIDN'T I RUN INTO YOU AT THE ABBEY BEFORE WE STARTED SHOOTING? I WAS WITH THE FAB 5.

Probably.... Actually, no, I don't remember.

NO. I RAN INTO YOU AT MARIX WITH MIMI, THAT'S WHAT IT WAS...

Yeah, but I do go to The Abbey a couple times a month. I couldn't believe how much things had changed. I think the show last week impacted people in a big way -- not just gay people. I have so many emails from Christians in the midwest who responded so well to the episode.

YOU ARE TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUT THE VISIT FROM YOUR MOM IN LAST WEEK'S EPISODE...HOW DID YOUR MOM RESPOND TO THE EPISODE?

She had mixed feelings. She actually emailed Mimi a kind of passive agressive email saying that Mimi's comments weren't justifed and she felt attacked by Mimi. I think the two of them are not knowing how to deal with each other after seeing the episode. During the show and right after we wrapped, I think both of them felt like the show happened "to them" and they leaned on each other for support, but now after seeing it, my mom felt a little angry towards Mimi. She told me she had her first fan who recognized her in the mall and I think she liked that. She's not being negative towards me. I think the show represented both our views positively so she's not giving me a hard time about it.

HAVE YOU TRAINED ANYONE GOOD LATELY?

Yeah -- Oh my god Marc Jacobs and his boyfriend flew out and bought two sessions with me as a gift! The boyfriend is a HUGE fan of the show.

HAD MARC SEEN THE SHOW?

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A "Runway" First

August 03, 2006

There was no joy in canning Keith Michael from Project Runway. It sucked. We hated it.

We loved Keith from the moment we cast him because we saw in him drive, good taste and talent. He's also handsome and generally quite free with his opinions of others.

When taping began it was pretty clear that Keith was going to be a frontrunner in a crowded field of talent. He won the first challenge and had the judges talking for the next few weeks.

We were in the midst of taping (last night's) episode 304 when we took a break to shoot promos for the series. (You no doubt have seen your fill of them -- the ones with the designers and Heidi in front of an all-white background....) It's our standard operating procedure to shoot these promos while we're still in production to capture the competition -- thus there's no fakery when people are saying "I'm going to win," etc. The designers all believe they are going to win and they are still very much in the competition. (Though yes, it is a drag for the few people who have already been auf'd.)

There were accusations of Keith's bringing some pattern books with him that came to the production's attention at this time. The production team assembled to question Keith about what was real and what was not, and about what access he had to the books. Having access to the books is a no-no and against Runway rules. There was a long discussion in order to formulate a verdict about Keith based on what we were hearing from him, his fellow designers, roommates, and the production team. These discussions were occurring during our promo shoot and, unfortunately, came to a decisive finish when Keith went AWOL from the photo shoot, disappearing for several hours.

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10 Questions With ... Neeenahgarceeya

August 02, 2006

When Nina Garcia called my cellphone yesterday afternoon as I was sweltering down Wilshire Blvd, I did what any self respecting blogger would do -- nearly killed myself swerving to the side of the road to throw some questions her way about Project Hoo-Hoo!

HEY NINA! EVEN THOUGH HEIDI ALWAYS INTROS MICHAEL AS THE KING OF JET-SET FASHION, HAVING SEEN YOU IN ST. TROPEZ, I AM GONNA SAY THAT YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF JET-SET FASHION!

Oh yeah, right -- strapped to this office while I could be in Sardinia right now! I had the best time in St. Tropez, didn't you?.

YES! DO PEOPLE NOW RECOGNIZE YOU IN EUROPE BECAUSE OF THE SHOW?

Everywhere, Andy! I flew from Rome to NYC and there was a 15-year-old sitting next to me with 5,000 questions! Would not leave me alone! People stop me in Columbia, South America! It's crazy. And hotels -- everywhere.

YOU KNOW THAT HEIDI HAS TURNED YOUR NAME INTO A ONE WORD THING LIKE MADONNA....WHEN SHE INTROS YOU IT'S ALWAYS "NEEENAHGARCEEYA!".

I love it! I am gonna change my name to Neeenahgarceeya! It sounds much more glamorous.

EVERYONE IS SPECULATING ABOUT WHO IS GETTING KICKED OFF THE SHOW TONIGHT, BUT I CAN'T EVEN ASK YOU ABOUT IT. YOU ARE ON THE TODAY SHOW WITH TIM TOMORROW THOUGH, RIGHT? WHAT TIME?

I think around 9!

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