Report from the Front: Mariah at MSG

August 30, 2006

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Yes, I want to talk about Runway and I want to know what YOU thought of the show -- specifically how you felt about Jeffrey's relationship with his client, and about the fashions for the Everyday Woman. This is an episode the fans have been begging for, so I am curious to know how people thought it turned out. In the meantime.....

You can tell a lot about an artist by who goes to see them in concert, and last night's gathering of Mariah Carey fans at Madison Square Garden thusly featured big-haired exhibitionists who let it all hang out. There were people of every ilk from every borough and lots of girls dressed like Mariah. I am talking about some severe Messes in Dresses.

But the headlining Mess in a Dress was the queen of the night, and though most facets of the concert were insane, the lady won everybody over with her voice. You might think that the third-best-selling recording artist in HISTORY might be able to put together a cohesive "show," but that was not happening. The production values were nil and very 1995. While Janet will give you a circus onstage and dance her face off while not singing a word, Mariah doesn't dance a step, leaves the stage after every 2-3 songs, and her dancers are doing 25-year-old moves from "Solid Gold," but she actually sings every damn word of every damn song. And all the songs are number ones.

Mariah's costumes were essentially every variation of inappropriate excuses to show skin that we may not really want or need to see. There are sequined bikinis with sheer coats, bicycle shorts with bikini tops, and dresses in several colors with cutouts everywhere. It's fashion that LA-based soap stars might consider perfectly appropriate for the Soap Opera Digest Awards.

She really did sing her eight-octave face off, though. You forget that she's had so many huge songs and that each one ends with her wailing and wailing. Surrounded by bad taste and bad dancers and bad clothes and skin we just don't ever want to have to see again, the voice and the songs and the wailing re-engaged us all just as we were about to give up on her.

She had special guests coming out the entire night, like Da Brat and P. Diddy and Sean Paul and on and on. And, lucky for us, Mimi had a real, honest to goodness divafit onstage. She was about to sing single 13 from "Emancipation of Mimi" -- backed by a full choir -- when she stopped the show and asked where the preacher who went with the choir was. He was supposed to speak the first two lines of the single and the lady could not sing the song if these words were not spoken. She wanted, of course, for the song to be perfect for us NYC lambs.

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