SVP on Holiday, Parts Two and Three

August 30, 2007

Parts Two and Three of our "Summer with Andy" Series finds our intrepid SVP in all sorts of twisted positions. Check back tomorrow and all through labor day weekend as the "waning days of summer" photoblog phantasmagora continues!

Part Two -- June 11th, 2007

On the looong drive to the Hamptons, I saw a license plate that said "MADONNA". I freaked and gave the ladydriver a thumbs up. Then I saw a plate that said "1Life2liv". I kept trying to maneuver out of the HOV lane to see the Vicki Buchanan lover behind the wheel, but I never did see. I took a picture of her license plate, but I think our lawyers would tell me I can't post a picture of someone's license plate, no matter how big a cry for help it may be...

Don't these canoodling swans look adorable frolicking in the rain in the bay by my house? Heads up, peoples! They are in fact evil hissing floating rats disguised as beauty queens, much like Jessica Simpson!

Remember the VHS tapes I found at the Sag Harbor dump last week that are eerily reminiscent of the SNL "Body Fuzion" skit that rocked my world? Well, I popped in said tape on our rainy Saturday and realized that every frame of video is fitness gold worthy of screengrabbin'.

I, for one, am not afraid of mouth work in the name of fitness.

The more I watch, the more I see LadyBodyFlex coming between Jackie and Rebecca at Sky Sport on "Work Out 3". Then I see her becoming galpals with Vicki and Lauri on "The Real Housewives of Orange County".

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How Our SVP Spent the Summer

August 30, 2007

Labor Day Weekend -- the official wind-down of summer. And to celebrate, we at OUTzone have culled through Andy Cohen's blog and put together a little photo-essay/Hamptons-a-thon/"chillax" fest, detailing the summer vacation of our own SVP, Mr. Andrew Cohen. We've been terrible about keeping you up to date on Andy all summer. We have our reasons. We were understaffed, we kept leaving early, sometimes we're flaky...

Alright -- we're jealous. That's the long and the short of it. Andy gets to hang out in the Hamptons with Ellen Barkin, and we only got to Jones Beach, like, once. No matter, we're on the job now, and we want you to check back all through this Labor Day weekend to see the "Big Gay Hampton's Summer of Andy Cohen." Enjoy...
Part One: June 4th, 2007 -- Dear Handsomely Embossed SVP Diary...

This weekend was especially pleasurable, so I think now's a good time to get back on the photoblogging horse.

I will begin with the end.... I went to the recycling center (aka the dump) yesterday afternoon and, while dumping my co-mingled corrugated cardboard, found this spectacular set of VHS work out tapes called "Body Flex". This seems to be precisely what Drew Barrymore was lampooning in my favorite SNL video short of the season, "Body Fusion". I was going to give the set to a Andy's Blog reader, but I am selfishly invoking the finder's keepers rule because I am so tickled about the find......

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Andy's Summer '07 Hot List!

August 30, 2007

SWINGIN'EST SUMMER SWIFFER: Zoila

FLIP FLOP COLOR THAT BEST SUMS UP OH SEVEN'S SUM: Red!

DINGBAT ANTI-SEMITE OF THE SUMMER: Big Brother 8's Amber

CAMEO OF THE SUMMER: Christopher Ciccone on "Top Chef"

YOU FOUND MY SUMMER '07 MANBAG? PLZ RETURN MY...: Coppertone Aerosol

B-52'S SONGS MOST LIKELY TO PUT YOU IN A JULY '07 VIBE: "Legal Tender" and "Strobelight"

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Queen of Mean

August 21, 2007

I was going to write in defense of Leona Helmsley this morning. I was going to say that she was just a misunderstood greedy old lady who said a bunch of stupid stuff. I was going to say that surely she couldn't have been half bad. I was thinking that between some hateful lady and combover Trump I would choose the hateful lady.

Then I read the papers. It turns out that it's fairly unanimous that the lady was, in fact, a miserable bitch. I can't defend her.

The New York Times says that after her son died, Helmsley evicted his wife and teenage son from their home and ordered the son's estate to pay back a loan for 100 grand. Nice.

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