Elroy Jetson Grows Up, or, Andy's Halloween Costume

October 31, 2007

Every Halloween I think of my pals Graciela and Amanda. We've spent a ton of Halloween nights making all sorts of trouble.

Here we are in the mid 90's. I am in my "Elroy Jetson as a Homo" outfit, flanked by Amanda as Marge Simpson and Grac as maybe a dominatrix with a fine booty. There was a 10 year period of time where I alternated the Elroy getup with some sort of jumpsuited gay Greg Brady ensemble.

There was a "Top Chef" Halloween party in Chicago the other night. Tom went as "Judge's Table" - literally!

Here's Tom in the Judges Table getup that the Top Chef Art Department constructed for him. I am thinking this is very very genius. And what would you think if I told you that a bunch of "Top Chef" producers were dressed as freaking CONDIMENTS that might appear on said Judges Table!?

It's Erica Ross (pepper) Doneen Arquines (salt), Nan Strait (ketchup), Andrew Wallace (hot dog) and Liz Cook (mustard). Oh and Bravo's Dave Serwatka is the scary clown. Oh hey, wanna see a picture of a scary clown at the Judges Table? Here ya go:

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Heart of "The Palm"

October 30, 2007

If you're an Andy's Blog regular, you know I love The Palm. Since Bruce opened the 50th street Palm in '98 or '99, it has become something of a "Regal Begal" for my posse. I was stumbling out of there late Friday night after attending what I would equate to "My Big Fat Italian Gay Baby Shower" (which is an entirely different blog) and Liza and I got sidetracked by the faces on the walls. I whipped out my Blackberry to share...

Here's Jennifer Aniston with "Rachel 'do" and Courtney Cox with "Liz Taylor 'do" that's actually a 'don't'. After Aniston hosted "Saturday Night Live", the party was at the Palm. She was there with Brad Pitt and Bruce got her to sign her picture. I barely remember the night, but it was fun.

Here's me looking like Donny Osmond. Bruce let me pick anywhere in the restaurant to put my face. I chose the corner, and asked to be right next to Madonna. I got my wish. You have to visit the Palm to see my special message to Bruce written next to my face.

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Stalking Tenille, Meeting the Captain

October 25, 2007

I was absolutely not going to write a blog today. I had nothing to say, so I thought I would let yesterday's date with a gigolo live another day. But something happened this morning, moments ago, that I must share with the four of you.

I had to speak to Bravo's sales team about our programming slate for next year early this morning. I was walking back to work from the Flatotel around 11 am and it was mizzly, so I was cutting through building lobbies in order to protect my houndstooth suit. (One must always protect the houndstooth.)

As I walked out of the Time Life Building I was flummoxed by two things. First was the sight of Radio City Music Hall blanketed in Christmas decorations. WTF, people!??!?! It is OCTOBER TWENTYFIFTH!!!!!!!! I am going to go batshit on someone, I thought.

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Kathy's Show and an Evening with Dale

October 22, 2007

I am in a photo studio all day casting beautiful models, so I don't want my focus from the task at hand to get racked by today's blog. So lemme keep it quick!

Chicago this past weekend was cheffy and great. The highlight was Kathy Griffin's SRO standup show at the Chicago theater on Saturday night. Went to the 10:30 show with Padma Lakshmi, Gail Simmons, and the biggest superstar in Chicago this side of Oprah, Dale Levitzki.

Seriously, to spend a night out in Chicago with Dale is to know what's going on inside Oprah's leboutains. To Chicago, Dale WON Top Chef. They loooove their Dale, and they gave him huge love walking into the Chicago Theater Saturday night. The theater was also spreadin' love to "Top Design" hometowners Matt Lorenz and Eric Kolasz.

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Answering My Mail

October 15, 2007

I went upstate this weekend and wound up at a pumpkin patch with Amy Sedaris yesterday. While there's a hilarious story in there somewhere, I am too stressed today to put it down... I thought it would be a great day to answer some Viewer Mail!

JMF WROTE: Hey Andy, unbelievable. Top Chef awarded top honors to the most unlikeable person -- but hey now Bravo can really sell his sob story about being an immigrant. Gee I guess some moron at Bravo thought it would be good for the network to give it to an immigrant. Yeah, the world loves an asshole, but then again isn't that what works at Bravo? What does Top Chef have against women chefs? Bravo = SEXIST TV. Maybe if we got a woman heavy drinker, at least Padma would vote for her. And to any "person" at Bravo who will say it was awarded to the best chef and it is not a popularity contest - please act like a lemming and do the world a favor.

WELL, JMF, YOU ARE EVEN MORE SNARKY THAN I. I WISH THE TITLE HAD GONE TO A WOMAN TOO, BUT IF THE JUDGES GAVE IT TO CASEY AFTER SHE BOMBED HER MEAL, WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN FAIR? ARE YOU AGAINST IMMIGRANTS?

G WROTE: Andy, I’m a 44 year old married gay man, out to my wife and am now strongly considering coming out to my children and close friends. My wife is not very supportive of this idea but it is something I feel I must do. I have read your story and have been waiting along time to feel that sense of relief; to be who I truly am – a gay man. Do you have any advice on how to tell my daughters aged 20 and 17, and how to convince my wife it’s the right thing to do for all?

I WROTE G BACK AND TOLD HIM THAT I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT HIS SITUATION TO GIVE HIM ANY CONCRETE ADVICE, BUT THAT PERHAPS COUPLE'S THERAPY WITH HIS WIFE WOULD BE A GOOD PLACE TO BEGIN. THAT SEEMS LIKE A NEUTRAL ENVIRONMENT WHERE BOTH SIDES COULD AIR THEIR FEELINGS. ALSO I TOLD HIM THAT PERHAPS SOMEONE HAS WRITTEN A BOOK ABOUT COMING OUT TO KIDS. I WISH G LUCK AND HAPPINESS.

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Coming Out

October 11, 2007

It is mizzly here again today. Does that have something to do with it being National Coming Out Day? I doubt it. But, since I mentioned it, go to Outzonetv.com to watch personal coming out stories from eight out Bravo-ites like "Top Chef's" Dale Levitski and Sandee Birdsong, "Flipping Out's" Ryan, "Work Out's" Jesse Brune, and me.

Yesterday was crazy, but there was cause to pause with the news of Bobby Brown's heart attack. I hope he gets better soon. Bravo LOVES Bobby!!!

Hung was on Star Jones's Court TV show yesterday and, boy, that lady LOVES "Top Chef"! I had no idea she was such a fan!! And have I mentioned lately how fabulous Ms. Jones is looking these days? Well, she does and you can't deny it.

Last night was a dinner for ABC News Producer Lynn Redmond's 39th birthday. It was an al fresco blast. A single friend at dinner, prodded by shrink Amanda Baten, gave her number to a fireman in the subway on her way to dinner. I hope the fireman calls. I love a fireman love story.

I learned at dinner that there is a "Save Sag Harbor" campaign being waged by none other than Christie Brinkley. What is the Uptown Girl saving my beloved Sag from? Seems a CVS maybe moving in where the 7-11 is, shutting down in it's wake a crappy Chinese Restaurant and a crappy, but serviceable, wine store. Doesn't sound horrible but it's gonna also shut down some drug stores on Main Street and basically screw up the natural order of Sag. Christie, I'm IN!!

We also discussed a viral video making the rounds of Dan Rather getting ready for a live shot and, for about 20 minutes, fiddling with his look and deciding whether to where his trenchcoat collar up or down. He apparently says to his producer "you always wear collar UP on a trench" - or some such nonsense. And so all this led us to discuss how ironic it is that embarrassing video of Dan Rather was leaked on the internet in the wake of his 70 million dollar lawsuit against his former network. How could that video possibly make it's way out of those vaults? Is there more? Hmmmm. Weird.

Here's a picture of a piece of trash I saw on Horatio street this morning:

Wtf is it? A large corn lamp? A palm tree lamp? In my 17 years in this town, I have taken various items (mirrors, curios) out of the trash but I don't think I have a use for this. I betcha someone took it. I bet! People are freaky!!

Please ponder that and Happy Coming Out Day!

Andy's Recap: Top Chef in Chicago

October 08, 2007

Last week in Chicago was so fun that I am bummed to return to reality...

The Cheftestants of Top Chef: Miami sent out such positive group vibes: they were so psyched to be back together and pretty much all of them said at some point how sad they were about being at the end of the Top Chef road. We taped the reunion show Thursday night (for air this Wednesday), announced the fan favorite, and afterwards blew it out with one last blowout party. (Kinda like graduation night.)

The Top Chef party started at Rockit, where the Cubs Playoff game was on and so were we. All the female chefs are beautiful, great dancers, and someone talked Camille into dancing on top of a pool table in what amounted to a cross between "Riverdance" and "Striptease" that went over like gangbusters to all in the group - with the exception of the staff of the bar, who politely got her off the precious felt of the table.

From Rockit, we had a 'company move' to The Underground where it was flowing bottle service as DJ AM absolutely rocked my world (and everybody else's.) I now realize what it means to be a DJ in the modern world; this guy is the real deal. The entire group of chefs, Padma, Tom, Gail, Magical Elves, and Bravo folks danced our faces off. The music was insane.

Pretty much everyone wound up on top of the banquette dancing or on a go-go stand. When I split sometime around 3, Tre was up there in a wife beater breaking it down. It was a joyous night and the Underground was fantastic.

I headed to St. Louis on Friday for some family fun. I realized there that, in the real world, weekends are spent going to kid's soccer games. Did soccer not exist when I was a kid? What has occurred that every kid is in a soccer league? Is it mandatory or voluntary?

In any case, I went to my nephew's two games this weekend and they were quite enjoyable. It's easy to get sucked into the goings on in the stands, which are the real show in my estimation. At the Saturday game, I spied a woman with a killer head of hair. I think I made some kind of judgment about women in St. Louis who get their hair done before league soccer games. Soon there was a wave of recognition, though, amongst the soccer moms, and it turns out that we were in the presence of a superstar lady...

Miss Dorothy Hamill and her classic wedge, which she is still sporting and working beautifully, was the superstar on the sidelines of that soccer field. I watched as several gals approached Dot with the headline news that they had just seen her on "Larry King Live". Miss Hamill was Miss Gracious to said Moms. Why was she there? Oh it's boring, but she was there and she looks great and I am sorry she is fighting depression (and she IS according to the soccermomlady via PEOPLE magazine).

I am back at my desk this morning, wishing I was dancing to DJ AM on a box with Padma and Dorothy Hamill.

I Love Lucci

October 02, 2007

Tonight the final season of the QUEER EYE begins with a show so camp that I would venture to say it's the gayest show Bravo has ever done, which is ironic since it's a Pageant of the most popular straight guys in QUEER EYE history. It's also ironic since Bravo has aired a cavalcade of camp. Who better to host this Pageant to end all Pageants than Susan Lucci? To you she's Erica Kane, to me she's my first larger than life diva, celebrity crush, and star encounter.

When I was in college, I wrote a plea to la publicist de la Looch for an interview - an exclusive to be published in the Boston University Free Press. It was really a declaration of love for Lucci and it must've been some tome because the interview was granted. I flew to NYC and had lunch with Lucci at Santa Fe, off Columbus. The year was 1988. What does it say about this lady that in the height of EricaMania she took a curly topped little closet case out to lunch and showed him that dreams come true?

It's a long and touching story, and I have run into Susan Lucci about once every other year since then. She's the only person by whom I am still star struck, and she takes me back to good times...

HELLO SUSAN

Hello there!

THIS IS THE MOST CAMP SHOW I THINK BRAVO HAS EVER DONE... WHICH IS CERTAINLY SAYING SOMETHING!

I had so much fun! I had seen QUEER EYE and always enjoyed it. Carson just let loose is so much fun. And what a fun idea to have a beauty pageant with all these great men...

WHY DO YOU THINK THE GAYS LOVE SUSAN LUCCI SO MUCH?

Hmm... I realize that I have a following in the gay community and I love that I do. The clothes probably have a lot to do with it. She (Erica) has style and she cares about that... She's just trying to live her life and all human beings can identify with her.

ERICA WAS CERTAINLY A PIONEER IN TV DIVA-DOM. SHE CAME LONG BEFORE ALEXIS AND THE PRIME TIME LADIES... MAYBE THAT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT?

Thank you for saying so. Maybe!

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