Stalking Tenille, Meeting the Captain

October 25, 2007

I was absolutely not going to write a blog today. I had nothing to say, so I thought I would let yesterday's date with a gigolo live another day. But something happened this morning, moments ago, that I must share with the four of you.

I had to speak to Bravo's sales team about our programming slate for next year early this morning. I was walking back to work from the Flatotel around 11 am and it was mizzly, so I was cutting through building lobbies in order to protect my houndstooth suit. (One must always protect the houndstooth.)

As I walked out of the Time Life Building I was flummoxed by two things. First was the sight of Radio City Music Hall blanketed in Christmas decorations. WTF, people!??!?! It is OCTOBER TWENTYFIFTH!!!!!!!! I am going to go batshit on someone, I thought.

Then I saw a woman who looked eerily like Miss Toni Tennille, one of my favorite ladies of all of the ladies in ladydom. I paused, and then thought she was a tourist with her windbreaker'd husband standing under the awning to protect from the mizzle. I went back to being an anti-Christmas zealot for a moment.

But something pulled me back to the lady who might be Toni. Like a magnet, I turned around and stepped toward them. It became clear that the lady COULD BE Toni, but that the key was whether the windreaker'd one was Mr. Daryl Dragon, The Cap'n. I did an absolute circle around them. An indiscreet circle.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to 51st street, THE CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE!!!!!

I charged. I introduced myself. I told them I had just bought their variety show on DVD. They perked up and asked where I had bought it. Toni said she gets all her stuff on Amazon, too!

I asked why they were in town. "The Sedaka Tribute," Toni responded.

DUH!!

She said they were performing. She said their Christmas special from years ago had just come out on DVD and that I should take a look at it. She said I would love it.

Toni looks refreshed and settled. Meaning she was refreshed and it has settled into her face well. She is beautiful, but I sure wish she was working that silky Toni Tennille flipped-down-bob she used to rock. I happened to have run into Dorothy Hammill at a soccer game a few weeks ago and SHE'S still working her iconic bob, so I would like to make a plea to Cap'n and Tennille management that Toni might want to rework the hair back into that classic do of spun gold.

At this point, you are probably wondering what "The Captain" was wearing, right!? A hat! But more of a newsboy cap. And glasses, like the type a blind person would wear. And he didn't really look at me while he spoke, which made me wonder if he was indeed a wee bit blind. Or a wee bit retarded, which is something I used to wonder. Oh, and sorry for using the word retarded. Is that a bad word? I love the Captain, and retarded people.. so I don't mean no harm.

I wanted to talk to them about some of their music, like "Song of Joy"... and I wanted to ask how the bulldogs are... and get some tour dates... but my well dried up. I left them on 51st Street. I love them.