Runway Recap: Angela Bids Adieu

August 31, 2006

Rosette-loving Angela is gone.

Now, it's important that you know that we don't get any screeners. No matter how much we plead with the suits down the hall (actually, the flip-flops down the hall) -- we don't get the info before you do. And so last night's episode of Runway struck us as a litlte sad.

Here's our confession: Some of us are from Ohio. Yes, we're Buckeyes. And that's hard to admit that sometimes. Don't get us wrong, it's a ... large state, and that's just great, but it's also a place where they called us "faggot" a lot. And where the laws still kinda call us "faggot." So to lose poor Jubilee Jumbles from our home state struck us as sad. There's the old joke -- "The hard thing about the Cleveland Browns/Indians is -- even if they win, they still have to go back to Cleveland."

We expected a good deal of sour grapes. We were gunning for Angela to really let Jeffrey have it in her exit interview. But, no! She's totally delightful and rational and even grateful. We're impressed -- no matter how unfair we thought it was that Alison and Malan were gone before Angela, she did grow on us a bit last night.

And Jeffrey won. OK, we read the comment boards and know he's rubbing people the wrong way right now. But you have to admit, those pants were fierce! And if we were rock stars (we're really not), we would definitely wear a crazy purple jacket. Awesome.

Ooh! Ooh! Oh yeah, we have some exclusive Runway interviews coming up next week. So stay tuned.

And, before we go, we have to direct your attention to the super-adorable Bravo Gay All-Stars subplot between Jesse Brune and Daniel Vosovic happening on our pages this week. Love it!

Kiki & Herb Offend … Everyone

August 31, 2006

Now the Catholics are up in arms.

The Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights has blasted Justin Bond and Kenny Mellman, the creators of the Broadway hit, “Kiki and Herb: Alive on Broadway.'” And, these being Bond and Mellman, they’ve worked it into their show.

''What have we done now?'' asks Kiki.

Perhaps it might have something to do with saying that Pope Benedict XVI is fond of designer clothes and then archly adding, ''The devil really does wear Prada.''

Or perhaps it has to do with the on-stage duo's bizarre claim that their longevity is due to them having drunk the milk of a cow that had eaten Jesus' afterbirth, thereby being granted eternal life.

Referring to the duo’s audience as “depraved,” Catholic League President asks Bill Donoghue asks, ''Would anyone want to have dinner with someone who thought this was funny?''

''Who wouldn't want to have dinner with us?'' Bond responds in mock surprise.

On current events in the Middle East, Kiki grows mock-serious: ''The least we can do is worry out of respect,'' she says solemnly, then adds, ''But seriously, we don't intend to do anything about it.''

Backstage, Kenny Mellman says the smartest thing about the whole mess. If anything, the duo are adding a much-needed political spice to Broadway. If that's a mostly a liberal dose, he doesn't much care.

''Get a conservative agenda on Broadway, get a moderate agenda. It's just not there,'' he says.

We’ve been telling you this is a must-see for months now. The show only runs for another month. Get to New York and see it. It’s truly a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Allison Janney – We Love You So!

August 30, 2006

We don’t know if we’d call her a gay icon, but she might be our favorite straight girl. She once stated that she used to worry that she would, for the rest of her life, be cast entirely in lesbian roles. And then she played Meryl Streep’s Park Slope girlfriend in “The Hours.”

But the latest news makes us love her even more. She’s going to be in the film version of “Hairspray,” the movie that has it all: John Travolta in drag, married to Christopher Walken. A John Waters love of camp, translated into something even campier. (Waters definition of camp? “The absurdly tragic, the tragically absurd.”)

Janney is set to play the role of Prudy Pingleton, the uptight, alliterative mother who makes her daughter Penny wear a P on her sweater, so that everyone will know that she’s “permanently punished.”

Although the film is not due out until Christmas of 2007, we are already lining up dates. The boys on staff are drawing straws to see which one of us should ask Bravo Exec Andy Cohen to join us. (He's handsome and he totally knows EVERYONE!)

Marvel Comics: Gays OK!

August 30, 2006

A few weeks ago, we reported that Marvel Comics would have to use the warning labels “Max” or “Explicit” for comics with gay characters.

Even though Marvel expressed their regret, the company was clearly irritated with having to, in this day and age, warn people that gay people (and characters) even exist at all.

Yesterday, they backed down, and released this statement from Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada: "It’s given us the opportunity to spark some internal discussions and revisit this issue, especially in light of the fact that we have characters like Freedom Ring and that we’ve had more gay and lesbian characters appearing in Marvel Comics than ever before. In many ways, the old policy over the last few years has just sort of faded away, so let me just say that there is no longer any policy."

Great news!

Queer as Folk on Logo

August 29, 2006

Last Friday there was an announcement (where were we?) that Logo network is going to show “Queer as Folk” starting Thursday, September 21st.

We first heard this morning and thought, “Hooray!” And then, “Oh… right -- did we even like that show"?

We loved the actors. Everyone was very pretty and we had a separate crush for each of them. Even the lesbians. (Yes, there were lesbians.) The problem with "Queer as Folk" was that it always seemed to be written by the same guys who write dialogue for cheap porn movies.

We really wanted to like it, and we came back every year to see if it had improved. The good news is that towards the end, the show's focus shifted from "being gay is difficult and painful" to "being gay is difficult, painful, and also kinda noble." Plus, graphic sex.

So take "Queer as Folk" for what it is -- groundbreaking low entertainment that's a hoot to watch and has a lot of nudity.

Except that Logo has had to cut out a lot of the sex. And edit some of the language.

But this might be one of those rare instances where the censors actually improve a show. Will we now be able to understand the ideas and issues that the show attempted to address but were overshadowed with outrageous carnal acts? Only time will tell.

Said a spokeswoman from Logo: “Queer as Folk represented the first time that LGBT experiences were reflected in a traditional hour-long dramatic format and we’re proud to make it available to the LGBT audience.”

Okay, but one question. If you cut the sex and the filthy language out of “Queer as Folk,” won’t that make it only a half-hour show?

Where to Put Your Rage

August 29, 2006

This started off as a story we loved reporting. Couple moves to Kansas town, their son finds a rainbow flag in California and sends it as a gift because of Kansas/Wizard/Rainbow, and they put it up outside the hotel that they own. Then, town recognizes rainbow significance, goes nuts, family keeps flag flying to stand proudly in the face of bigotry.

Of course, these are also the kinds of stories that never end.

This week, that weirdo Phelps clan showed up with their brood of hillbilly children, so that they could all hold their signs and shout and sing about how much “God Hates Fags.” You know the Phelps, right? They show up to military funerals to protest because America treats gays so well? They have signs that say, “Thank God for September Eleventh,” and they bring them to Manhattan occasionally. They keep a ticker on their website of “days that Matthew Shepard has been in hell.”

Yeah, them. Well, they've taken their freak show to Meade, Kansas this week to protest that little flag in the hotel window. And it’s gotten downright ugly.

The Advocate, quoting an AP article, had this to report: “It's just not right," said Suzan Seybert, a 30-year resident of the southwest Kansas community, as she watched (Phelps’ family) chanting about gays burning in hell. "I think it's despicable to start to teach your children at such a young age the word hate. It's just the worst thing you can do."

Mike Thompson, who teaches a class at Colby Community College on the sociology of discrimination, brought some of his students to see the protests. Among them was Kati Near, who grew up in Meade. "I think a lot of people think we're all just a bunch of bigots," Near said, adding that she was embarrassed by what was going on in her hometown.

There just isn't any good news about this, and so, in order to make this somewhat constructive, we're going to follow the lead of an organization called "Every Minute Counts." The idea is to give money to a relevant gay organization for each minute of a Phelps protest. We're going to follow suit today, and direct you to The Matthew Shepard Foundation. Make a donation based on how enraged you feel, and see if that helps.

You can also check out: GLAAD, The Human Rights Campaign and Lamda Legal.

Sir Hiz-elton

August 28, 2006

Oh no. Really?

Yep. Sir Elton John is going hip-hop. We read it in the Sundaymirror.co.uk, which was quoting Rolling Stone. It seems the 59-year-old balladeer has decided to put a contemporary spin on his old classics, and wants to work with the likes of Eminem and Snoop Dog.

"I want to bring my songs and melodies to hip-hop beats. It may be a disaster, it could be fantastic, but you don't know until you try,” John told Rolling Stone. "I want to work with Pharrell, Timbaland, Snoop, Kanye, Eminem and just see what happens."

Sir Elton seems committed to the quest, telling the magazeine that although it's still in the idea stage, : "I want it to sound a bit like ‘No Diggity,’ by Blackstreet."

It seems even a little before the idea stage. He went on to say:

''I want to bring my songs and melodies to hip-hop beats. I love these beats, but I have no idea how to get them." But ... you're Elton John! Call Eminem!

Is this an early (or late) April fool? We're absolutely terrified by this whole idea. Sometimes it’s best to stay with what you know.

But then again, we suppose Sir Elton doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone. He’s the Rocket Man, after all. It’s not like he’ll starve if he screws up. Hell, go for it! And if ya bamboozle yo ballads don’t be draggin’ your cry-baby Badunkadunk down our way. Word!

As the CPR Turns

August 28, 2006

Luke came out of the closet. And now…his first kiss (sorta).

This past May, CBS came under fire when one of it’s teenage characters on "As the World Turns" came out of the closet. Lily and Holden’s son Luke, played by cutie Van Hansis, came out to his parents.

What made the event so impressive was the airing of a Public Service Announcement following the episode, urging viewers to end bigotry and homophobia by finding a way to support the gay community. The PSA was sponsored by GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) and featured links to PFLAG.

This prompted the extremists at the Traditional Values Coalition to call GLAAD: “one of the most dangerous organizations in America.” The way they see it, CBS has really taken a turn by allowing one of it’s teenage characters to participate in an act as “dangerous as tobacco or alchohol use.”

Well, they’re sure to be hopping mad this week when Luke comes out to his best friend Kevin. Of course, Luke is totally in love with Kevin and of course Kevin gets knocked unconscious and Luke has to give him mouth to mouth. That’s what happens to everyone when they come out.

Once it’s all over, we’ll be reporting on the statement that The Traditional Values Coalition will undoubtedly release about how performing CPR on a straight person should be a crime for any fictional gay person.

California Dis-Assembly

August 25, 2006

You know how late at night sometimes on C-Span, you can watch the British Parliament shout at each other and boo Tony Blair? And sometimes, in Japan, there are fistfights during debates?

The same thing sorta happened in the California legislature yesterday.

In a debate over a bill that would let domestic partners file joint state tax returns -- which by the way miraculously PASSED -- Republican Assemblyman Jay La Suer called the measure, “part of the homosexual agenda" and said it would teach California’s children “that this is an acceptable lifestyle.”

So then Assemblyman Lloyd Levine made the point that, “the homosexual agenda is simple equality and freedom from discrimination."

This led to more grumbling and arguing until finally, Assemblyman Dennis Mountjoy said, "What you seek in society is acceptance" -- addressing his comments directly at the three openly gay members of the assembly -- "but your lifestyle is abnormal. It is sexually deviant."

Well, at least we’re back to name-calling.

So everyone took a caucus meeting to calm down for a minute, and when they returned, Assemblyman Mountjoy apologized. And the bill passed. Because, for heavens sake, it’d be flat out discrimination if it didn’t.

Now the extremists on talk radio are all over it. James Dobson, in his daily radio address said, "If these bills are signed into law, who knows what the liberal courts in California will be able to make out of this in the years to come?” Later in a statement, he added: "There goes the next generation of children straight into the arms of the homosexual activist community." He went on to urge all Californians to contact Gov. Schwarzenegger so that he’ll veto the bill.

A spokeswoman for Schwarzenegger said “The governor believes all Californians are entitled to full protection under the law."

What to Watch this Weekend

August 25, 2006

The summer movie season has been, yes, totally great this year. Not in a really high-minded artistic kind of way, but in a wonderfully earnest “this story means something, man” kind of way.

So, we’ve dug up some gay movies you can check out that go for pathos, and will still entertain you. They’re playing around the country. There may be a long drive for some, but they’re out there if you look hard enough.

Broken Sky -- directed by Julián Hernández (and pictured above), this is a story from Mexico about two university students, Gerardo and Jonás, who meet on campus and fall passionately in love. We hear good things -- the movie was a selection at the Berlin International Film Festival 2006.

Time to Leave -- directed by François Ozon. This dark French film follows the story of a handsome, successful fashion photographer who learns that he has a malignant brain tumor that will soon kill him. Hiding his diagnosis, he alienates his family and his young boyfriend, until he goes to visit his grandmother (the incredible Jeanne Moreau). Time to Leave was a selection in the Cannes Film Festival and the Toronto Film Festival, 2005.

And of course, for just a little while longer, you can still check out the Todd Stephens’ comedy Another Gay Movie -- which takes place in a wonderfully unreal gay universe that we might all hope for one day.

If you’re looking to stay in, you can rent or Netflix:

The Mudge Boy -- directed by Michael Burke. This was on Showtime a few months ago and we caught it. A deeply unsettling, but really satisfying story about a 14-year-old gay misfit. The movie was nominated for the prestigious Grand Jury Prize at the 2003 Sundance Film Festival. The script was the American winner of the 2000 Sundance/NHK International Filmmakers Award and also received First Prize for the 2001 Richard Vague Grant.

Loggerheads -- directed by Tim Kirkman. Serious hottie Kip Pardue travels to North Carolina to protect the Loggerhead turtles, when he meets George and Grace (Bonnie Hunt) -- who may or may not be his mother. The movie won the Grand Jury Prize at Outfest in 2005, and Audience Awards for Best Feature in the Nashville and Florida Film Festival.

We’re totally going to rent Loggerheads this weekend. Have a good one, queers!

Project Runway Recap

August 24, 2006

Again, we have to state sadly: No, we don't get screeners. We work down the hall from the Runway team alongside our sister site Bravotv.com. But, sadly, we don't get Runway screeners. We have to watch the hard way, just like you.

So, here's the latest....

The big news: we've lost a gay. Yes, Robert made Vincent's sister look a little like a life raft, and that was both unnecessary and sad, but he clearly cared about her. And we love this about Robert. He’s the only person who can make trash-talking harmless.

Uli was totally robbed by loopy Vincent. The good news here is that we’re not alone in this estimation. Check out Tim Gunn's blog!

Finally, how adorable were those women? It was like the ladies from "Music Man" who sing that "pick a little, talk a little" song. Everytime those ladies walked into a room, all clucking and pecking, we fell in love with our moms (and all of their friends) all over again. And they brought pictures of their sweet adorable fat children who are now all gorgeous and lithe!

Laura is still our favorite. Still the one we want to have a martini with and talk about … really, anything.

Sandler to Stereotype?

August 24, 2006

Kevin James ("The King of Queens") and Adam Sandler (Happy Gilmore, etc.) are set to star in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry -- a new movie about two straight firefighters who, in order to get domestic partnership benefits, pose as a gay couple. Steve Buscemi has signed on to play the city worker who tries to expose the fraud and Dan Akroyd will play the fire chief.

O-K. So, we kinda know where this is going already. There will be at least a few jokes about who's "the woman," probably a make-over scene where somebody puts on better shoes, and they'll have to kiss at some point. And that's what all the interviews will be about. "Hey, what was it like to kiss another man?"

Of course, the movie isn't even in production yet so it's a bit early to get too riled up. But remember Boat Trip? The Cuba Gooding Jr. farce about two straight guys who get stuck on a gay cruise and, in order to date the female dancing instructor, pretend to … yeah. Nobody saw it but us, and we only got through the first few minutes.

So, we’re going to wait this one out. It’s only fair. Perhaps there will be at least one gay person involved to talk some sense into the whole thing.

Tennis, Anyone?

August 24, 2006

The Associated Press and The Advocate are reporting good news for gay tennis heroes.

On Monday, the United States Tennis Association will rename the National Tennis Center “The Billie Jean King Tennis Center,” during the opening ceremony for the U.S.Open.

She’s been a hero of ours since we tried out for the tennis team in high school, and realized that there are few sports available to nerdy gays like us. Billie Jean made it seem easy.

Here are some things that have happened to Billie Jean:

She’s been thrown out of the US Tennis Association for joining “The Virginia Slims Tour.”
She was on Life Magazine’s list of the “100 Most Important People of the 20th Century.”
She is the only woman to win U.S. singles titles on all four surfaces—grass, clay, carpet, and hard.
She won a record 20 Wimbledon titles and 13 U.S. Open championships.
She beat Bobby Riggs in the famous "Battle of the Sexes" match in 1973
She’s been publicly outed as a lesbian and had millions of dollars in endorsements taken from her.

So this is vindication for our girl Billie. And just about every tennis star around is rushing to agree.

"It's great Billie got top billing—maybe it will start a trend," said Martina Navratilova, "It's phenomenal because it's the first time a woman has had that honor. And to get it named after her while she's living, she gets to enjoy it."

Right. On.

Working it Out

August 23, 2006

The best line in last night’s finale of Work Out came from Rebecca: “Okay, well, let’s not throw glassware.”

We were on the fence about Rebecca until that moment (and had agreed with Erika, that there are more ways to get where you’re headed than flirting). But the glassware line totally redeemed Rebecca, because wow, she’s not wrong.

We’re in love with Jackie and we read the comments that everyone’s been leaving on our comment boards: “Girl, you have a lot of love to give, Mimi is not the way.” There are straight women throwing themselves at her in our email boxes every morning. We’re still trying to get the Bravo suits to fly her in to train our cookie-eating writer asses. We’re huge fans.

And so, to our great relief, Jackie and Mimi broke up. The scary part was that Mimi threw a glass full of booze straight at Jackie’s (gorgeous) head.

So here’s what we’re going to say about Mimi:

Mimi lost us a few weeks ago when started picking fights with Jackie’s mom -- ambushing her in the safety of a room full of gay people with: “What do you think about gay marriage?” Knowing full well that Mrs. Warner would defend her point of view, Mimi was clearly gunning for a fight.

Of course gay people deserve equal protection under the law, but sweet Mrs. Warner can’t do anything about that during dinner. This is a woman who is clearly struggling with that herself, and she reminds some of us of our own brave but confused mothers.

Mimi’s cornering her at the dinner table doesn’t help anyone -- particularly the parents across the country who want to accept their children, are working towards that ability, and willing to have the conversation without attacking or being attacked. Mimi’s behavior justified those parents across America in closing their minds to “those gays who are so abrasive.” She set us back.

And so, in last night’s episode, Mimi threw a glass at her girlfriend’s head. At which point we were furious. We cheered for Brian as he hoisted that awful little harpy out of the bar, and back into the street.

Here is the part we love: Fierce Jackie Warner, getting on her motorcycle, in full acknowledgement of her faults and her strengths. Jackie running a small work family that she gets to define -- and holding it together. Best of all, we love the image of Jackie standing in the sunset, the glow of her success, a proud, gay, fierce, American woman.

Rock on.

They Don't Like Gays In Arkansas?

August 23, 2006

365Gay.com is reporting that 62% of those polled in Arkansas support a bill outlawing foster parenting by gays and lesbians.

A remaining 26% say they have no problem with it, and 12% didn’t want to comment.

Here’s the thing we’re having trouble stomaching about this: In 1999, the Arkansas Child Welfare Agency banned placing children in homes with any homosexual adults, on the basis that this protected them from disease, violence, sexual abuse, neglect and instability. Awful.

There was an outcry, and the policy went through all kinds of court proceedings until, finally, it was ruled unconstitutional by the State Supreme Court. Of course it’s unconstitutional, it’s blatant discrimination, and everyone knew it.

But recently, lawmakers have stepped in with a proposed law that doesn’t discriminate -- it simply requires anyone who wants to foster a child to be legally married.

Yes, gay marriage: still illegal.

Kerry Lobel, executive director of the Gay and Lesbian Task Force has this to say: "This ban is not about the welfare of children, it’s about attacking and demonizing gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people. Right-wing extremists are aiming their arsenal at our families more than ever before. We will face similar battles in a number of states this year, and we will do everything in our power to face down these lies, distortions, and myths with the simple truth."

Meanwhile, the current governor, Republican Mike Huckabee (who is laughably flirting with running for President) says, "Our attorneys read into (the ruling) that if it was legislation it would likely stand, that we could in fact say that only married couples could be foster parents," Huckabee said. "We think that if we go back and codify that into law that probably takes care of it."

Takes care of it?

So the Democratic challenger has got to be the sensible one here, right? After all, he did meet with the state’s gay Democrat organization (Stonewall Democrats) to promise he would vote against any legislation limiting the rights of gays and lesbians from fostering children.

Except that now, he’s announced his support for the ban.

Wow.

"Work Out" Throw Down

August 22, 2006

Tonight at 9/ 8 central on Bravo. Set your TiVo. Call your friends. You don't want to miss this one.

Again, the folks down the hall won’t tell us what happens, but they’ve been having whispered discussions about the whole thing for days. All we’ve heard is, “You should watch, it’s pretty intense.”

And then we saw the commercials. There’s a fight -- in public. (Jackie and Mimi? We think so....)

We’re all speculating how it ends, what happens next. Check back here after the show for our rundown, recap, and, if you’re lucky, a bonus interview.

(Don't forget -- if you’ve missed any of this season, you can catch yourself up on our video player.)

My Brother, My Nemesis

August 22, 2006

It’s a gay reality show, but it sounds a little surreal.

Logo has picked up an original series about identical twin brothers Jacob and Joshua Miller, who are also in the process of starting a music career for their band: “Nemesis.”

“Jacob and Joshua: Nemesis Rising” will premiere October 16th at 10pm and will center on the decision about whether to come out of the closet.

But it’s all gonna be on TV, so we kinda know how it ends.

The show hopes to cash in on the growing trend of marketing artists who are openly gay. The problem with doing so is that the twins will have to come out to their Jehovah’s Witness parents, as well as friends and family.

Add to that your usual “twin” conflict. Joshua likes to party, Jacob has a long-term relationship. One likes the sound a little more pop, one likes the sound a little more rock and roll. Hijinks ensue.

Like a Bad Movie

August 22, 2006

This was bound to happen in real life. And not just to Mary Cheney.

In Florida, ultra-conservative Randall Terry is trying to unseat the current Republican senator in the upcoming primary. Terry is running on a “traditional family values” campaign, which includes pictures of him and his wife with their five children.

The problem is, they have seven children. Two are not pictured. Their daughter Tila had a child out of wedlock, so she's not in the photos -- and neither is their son Jamiel (pictured here, above), who is gay.

“He (Randall Terry) is very big on image,” says Jamiel, and “in a large way, Tila and I mess up that image.”

Jamiel came out publicly in OUT magazine in 2004, and since then, the Associated Press has been following the story of Randall Terry's proud gay son -- who lives in the shadow of a homophobic and ultra-religious father. This current round of family drama started when Jamiel gave an interview to the Associated Press last week.

Jamiel is quick to point out that voters deserve to know about the family values of a candidate who has made that the centerpiece of their campaign. Jamiel maintains that if a candidate is going to talk about strong families, then that candidate should be upfront about the difficulties in their own family.

To add insult to injury, there are sub-plots to this drama: both Jamiel and Tila are adopted. You see, in 1987 Randall Terry, who started the anti-abortion group “Operation Rescue,” persuaded a woman not to have an abortion by promising to raise her child (Tila). Upon adoption, Terry also adopted Jamiel, Tila’s biological brother.

Randall Terry has said publicly that the problems these two face most likely stem from the way they were treated before they were adopted. And Terry’s justification for not including them in current campaign "family photos" rings hollow: “The reason we don’t have a photo with Jamiel and Tila is that we haven’t been in the same room with them in about three years.”

Jamiel Terry responded: “Maybe if we’d been invited for Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, etc, we would be in a family photo.”

The (Oh God) Teen Choice Awards

August 21, 2006

Britney. Honey. Can we talk about your…

You know what? Nevermind. Carry On.

So, Britney’s husband and baby-daddy Kevin Federline performed on network television for the first time last night. Most accounts called it "not genius but not laugh-out-loud bad." We really didn't care for it. That's what we're going to say. We really, really didn't care for it.

We decided to move our OUTzone writer’s meeting up a few days and watch the Teen Choice Awards. But we didn’t quite make it. Unfortunately it’s hard for us to relate to the Teen Choice Awards. We get the part where Orlando Bloom won “Male Hottie” and we also get the part where the actors who play the popular kids in high school dramas win the most awards. (Except Wilmer Valderrama, but exchange students are always charming and good for an emergency prom date.)

We also get that the big winner was Johnny Depp, who won best actor in a drama/action adventure for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and who also won best actor in a comedy for his role as Willie Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

OK, so here's what it is. Perhaps it's just an award show not designed for nerdy gay kids. Oh well. There’s always “Degrassi: The Next Generation.”

1 in 75.4 characters on network TV

August 21, 2006

Of the 679 lead or supporting characters on network television shows for the upcoming 2006-2007 season, only nine are gay. This according to a study by the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

Last year there were 10.

The list of gay characters includes Patty Bouvier on “The Simpsons,” Kenny on Fox’s “The War at Home” and of course Andrew VanDeKamp on ABC’s “Desperate Housewives.”

Of course, if you have cable, you can see more gays, with nearly 30 gay lead characters, most of whom are on Showtime’s “The L Word.”

So what shows are we setting our TIVO’s to when the fall season goes into full swing?

“The Class” – a comedy on CBS about a group of twenty-somethings who all attended the same third grade class. Starring out performer Sam Harris.

“Hidden Palms” -- The CW brings us a (super cute) troubled teen who moves to Palm Springs in search of a better life.

“The ‘L’ Word” – Unlike it’s predecessor, “Queer as Folk,” this old favorite continues to have consistently good writing and well developed characters.

Other shows with “recurring” characters (though not leads) are: “Ugly Betty,” “LoveSpring International,” and “Drawn Together.”

As with any television- if you watch these shows, it increases the chances of their staying on the air. Tell your local stations which shows you want to see, and by all means, talk about it here.

Same Sex Pensions

August 21, 2006

The President of the United States, George "Double-Yoo" Bush, has signed into law the federal “Pensions Protection Act” -- boy, that sounds like an exciting item, huh?

Well, turns out that it’s the first time that same-sex couples have access to previously off-limits parts of each other's pensions -- including a “hardship distribution” that allows individuals to grant their partner the ability to tap into retirement funds in the case of medical emergencies.

In the past, only a spouse or dependent was able to do this.

Also provided is a "Non-Spousal Rollover," which allows you to roll your retirement money over to your partner if you die, without a tax penalty.

Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solomnese says, "Basically, what this means is that these two provisions ensure that the U.S. tax code, in times of emergencies, is fairer to more Americans, including our community and puts us on a more equal footing with other couples."

Well, it's about damn time! We know how to make that process a little easier on everyone, actually. We could just get married like everyone else.

Oh, right. Well, as long as we're slowly handed our equal rights in tiny, bite-size chunks....

Justin, Lance, and Taylor Hicks

August 18, 2006

We thought we’d weigh in on this, finally.

The folks at Defamer and towleroad.com have been yapping about Justin Timberlake and his comments about “American Idol” Taylor Hicks. "People think he looks so normal, and he's so sweet and he's so earnest, but he can't carry a tune in a bucket," Timberlake told Fashion Rocks, a supplement of Vanity Fair.

Okay. That’s harsh. Hicks was on a reality show that chose him as the winner, so the man has some fans. And he didn’t have the luxury of ascending the ranks through the Mickey Mouse Club.

Here’s what got our panties in a bunch, though. Justin goes on to say: "If [Hicks] has any skeletons whatsoever, if God forbid, he's gay, and if all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like 'Oh my god, I voted for a queer!' It's just too much pressure."

See, the thing is this, these comments are surfacing now -- but were made in May. Two months before Lance Bass, who is from Mississippi, came out of the closet. Interesting "what-if" Timberlake made.

And is it arrogance to be so cavalier about the fate of someone based on their sexual preference? Particularly when talking about us, the gays -- a group of people who have provided a pretty loyal fan base?

Sure, he's a role model to teenage boys. But Justin is trying to identify himself as a grown-up, and tossing around the idea that being gay is bad for your career helps no one.

There. We said it.

Another Gay Weekend

August 18, 2006

Time again for our weekend in gay events.

We encourage you to let us know what’s happening, by commenting at the bottom of this story. Believe it or not -- we actually do check our mail.

Let’s start out west this week:

Two events in the Reno/Tahoe area are sure to get sand in your hair and make you dress your best. The 10th Annual Reno Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade and Festival is this weekend, hosted by Charley Geary. Also in attendance will be Cheer San Francisco, a big gay cheerleading squad. They’re always a crowd pleaser. Reno’s great, it’s like Vegas, only…there’s a better lake nearby.

Speaking of that lake, the Lake Tahoe Shakespeare Festival kicks off this week, and continues it’s tradition of seriously gorgeous scenery behind plays with difficult texts. We’ve actually had the pleasure of seeing these shows once or twice, and we recommend doing anything you can to contribute to the already staggering amounts of money pumped into the Tahoe Basin by tourism every year.

In the middle of the country we have the fourth annual FleshFest 2006 in St. Louis, MO. It’s described as a three-day Bacchanal. Wow! A festival for Dionysus wherein everyone drinks too much wine and sleeps with everyone around? Hey, cool. Sign us up!

In Detroit this weekend, the Motor City Tennis Alliance is holding a National Tournament. And you know what that means. Singles. Doubles. Singles.

Down south, in Savannah, Georgia, there’s a Gay Singles Bowling League forming at the Savannah Lanes. Gay bowling -- how hot is that!? The ads at gay.com say men and women are welcome to meet, greet, bowl, and wear those horrible shoes.

Finally, on the east coast, we have another circuit party in Fire Island. The ad reads: ”What could be better than miles of sun-drenched sand, a cool ocean breeze and scintillating music uniting people, naturally lifting and ascending their spirits? It's time for Ascension.” The good news about the circuit party is that it benefits The National Gay & Lesbian Task Force.

Have a great weekend, Queers! And seriously, let us know how it goes! We want updates on Monday.

Straight Theatre

August 18, 2006

We thought that any boy who expressed an interest in the theater was a homo. Seriously, that’s what they told us in high school, it’s what we told ourselves during all those tap classes in college.

But we’ve got some straight boys signing up this week. R&B superstar Usher makes his Broadway debut on Aug. 22 in ''Chicago,'' playing lawyer Billy Flynn in the Kander and Ebb musical.

Says Usher: “We are doing eight shows a week. ... If I want to perform every show, I have to take care of myself. I am not going to be able to enjoy New York like I normally do -- no hitting the nightclubs and everything. None of that. This is a time for focus.”

That’s right, pal. This is Broadway. You have to get up by, like, three in the afternoon. (Earlier on matinee days.)

In other straight-dancey-boy news, Johnny “gosh he’s pretty in a pirate get-up” Depp will play the title role in Tim Burton’s film adaptation of “Sweeney Todd,” about a murderous and cannibalistic barber.

We are so there. Depp is easy on the eyes, and Tim’s stuff is gloriously dark and messy.

Finally, Christopher Walken is taking the role of Wilbur Turnbladt in the movie-based-on-the-Broadway-play-based-on-the-John-Waters-movie “Hairspray,” Walken will be replacing Jim Broadbent who is leaving for undisclosed reasons.

This means that Walken will be playing John Travolta’s husband. Hollywood gay marriage. We’re so in love with that.

Alison Auf'd

August 17, 2006

Allow us to gush for a second, because the most awesome thing just happened.

Project Runway’s newly (and unjustly) auf’d Alison was on "The Today Show" this morning, and on her way out of the building, she walked by our desks. We all got to tell her how much we love her. And we’re not kidding -- she’s crazy beautiful.

OK, so we haven’t made out with girls in years. But, uhm…oh it’s all so confusing.

And we're so sad that Nina Garcia, Michael Kors, and Heidi Klum gave the boot to Alison (who smells fantastic, by the way).

Here’s the hard part -- her dress was a little crazy. But not to worry, according to Andy Cohen, Alison will show her line at New York's Fashion Week next month.

For a full rundown of last night's show, you check out Tim Gunn's blog. And do check out the blogs Project Rungay and Perpetually Nauseous.

Lesbian Hostel

August 17, 2006

Our own little out, proud lesbian cutie, Heather Matarazzo is in negotiations to star in Hostel 2, the sequel to Eli Roth’s horror film about a Slovakian youth hostel where backpackers are tortured for sport.

If you’ve spent any time in a youth hostel – you know that pretty much,it's all torture. Except with a lot more weed. And too many guitars.

The Hollywood Reporter said that Matarazzo would be playing against both Lauren German and Bijou Phillips. Hot. Matarazzo is in negotiations to play the girl who “tags along” behind the beautiful girls.

Oh, right, the Velma from Scooby Doo. We get it, so she’s the one who gets killed first?

The out actress was most recently seen in The Princess Diaries and Saved. Quentin Tarantino and Boaz Yakin will return as executive producers.

Gay Duets

August 16, 2006

Jai Rodriguez singing with Belinda Carlisle. How gay is that?

(We don’t think Belinda is, but we’ve seen Jai in the hallways here once or twice… he’s gay enough for the both of them.)

This is just one of the possibilities being discussed by Simon Cowell’s people over at “Celebrity Duets. ”

The show pairs a celebrity known for their vocal chops, with another celebrity known for some other obscure talent. Like Olympic gymnast Carly Patterson, who may be singing with Chaka Khan.)

The show promises a whole slew of few gay-adjacent celebrities.

Hal Sparks, who played gay on Showtime’s long-running almost porn-opera “Queer as Folk” could wind up singing with Patti LaBelle.

And Lucy Lawless, our favorite warrior princess, could sing a ballad or two with Richard Marx.

Other actual singers set to perform are Macy Gray, Kenny Loggins, Peter Frampton, and Patti LaBelle have all signed on. As for the non-singers, a partial list includes Cheech Marin, Lea Thompson and Alphonso Ribero (from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"). The show will be hosted by Wayne Brady.

The Little Flag that Could

August 16, 2006

Here’s the story: J.R. and Robin Knight own the Lakeway Hotel in Meade, Kansas. Their 12-year-old son spent a week this summer visiting his grandparents in California. While there, he came across a Rainbow flag -- which reminded him of both his Kansas home and its “Wizard of Oz” heritage.

So he took the flag home to his delighted (straight) parents, who promptly ran it up the flag pole outside the hotel. That’s where the trouble started.

The local paper, without contacting the Knights, ran a picture of the flag and a link to a website which told the unsuspecting town exactly what the significance of a rainbow flag means.

J.R. and Robin were astonished to learn that gays everywhere looked to the flag with some degree of pride and a lesser degree of “a rainbow…really?” Nevertheless, they continued to fly the flag.

Then the boycotts began. A local pastor told them it was obscene. The local radio station threatened to pull their advertising. Community groups that once met in the hotel’s restaurant stopped coming in. The flag was stolen.

And a brick with the word “fag” on it was thrown through the hotel’s plate glass window.

One of the most ridiculous quotes came from a resident of Meade by the name of Keith Klassen, who told the KBSD 6 Eyewitness news this:

“To me, it's just like running up a Nazi flag in a Jewish neighborhood. I can't walk into that establishment with that flag flying because to me that's saying that I support what the flag stands for and I don't," says Klassen.

Wow. Nazis. Really?

“It's a rainbow flag -- to some people it means friendship to some people it means gay pride," hotel owner and fla-bearer J.R. Knight told the same local news. Still, despite the fact that nobody in the family is openly gay, Knight says, “Any gay or lesbian people that do stop by will be treated with the best service I can give you."

Following this weekend's congregation at the hotel by the Kansas Equality Coalition, two boys from town were brought to the hotel by their father. They handed the Knights back their flag and apologized.

Knight took the flag, but he’d already replaced it with a flag he’d purchased himself.

“When this rainbow flag shreds, I will buy another one, and another one, and another one -- just like my American flag, I'll buy another one."

You can send your thanks or book a reservation here.

Kiki and Herb Smash Everything

August 16, 2006

Just to follow up on our freak out yesterday about Kiki and Herb.

Ben Brantley at the New York Times loved it, and he’s notoriously cranky about this kind of thing. He calls the show: “A hyper-magnified cabaret concert that has the heat and dazzle of great balls of fire.”

Everyone we’ve talked to who was there said it’s the best work the pair has ever done. It’s only running for four weeks, and it’s sort of the chance of a lifetime. If you’re not anywhere near New York City and a homo, you should get on a plane. New York is lovely this time of year.

We swear.

Kiki and Herb's Opening Night!

August 15, 2006

Alright. We're gonna freak out about this just a little.

Last month we reported that it was happening, and then we set up a calendar in the office and starting clicking off days. Tonight: “Kiki and Herb: Alive on Broadway” opens at the Helen Hayes Theater in New York City.

Their “retirement” concert in 2004 (Kiki and Herb Will Die For You at Carnegie Hall) was possibly the greatest feat of show biz genius we at Outzone have ever seen. Yes, we were there, laughing and mostly crying, sometimes simultaenously.

Justin Bond (Kiki) and Kenny Mellman (Herb) open tonight to extremely positive buzz.

For the uninitiated: The two play an aging lounge act that should have broken up decades ago, but who cannot seem to quit one another. Kiki, a self-described “boozy chanteusy” and her accompanist, Herb, (of whom she says, “In the fifties, it wasn’t as popular to be a gay jew-tard as it is now”) pound their way through numbers by Kate Bush, The Mountain Goats, Judy Garland, The Pixies, and just about anyone else that occurs to them. Not to mention how much alchohol they consume. (Says Kiki: “If you want the old girl to run, you gotta gas her up!”)

There are few acts for a gay audience that can consistently make our socks roll up and down, and Kiki and Herb have entered the gay lexicon and found their place somewhere between Sid VIcious and Liza Minelli.

Break a leg!

Bent Again

August 15, 2006

A revival of Bent, Martin Sherman’s terrifying gay play about World War II concentration camps is set to open in London in October, starring Alan Cumming and directed by Daniel Kramer.

Daniel Kramer is the young American director responsible for setting “Hair” in modern-day New York City, including references to Iraq, September 11th, and Kosovo. If you’ve never seen his work -- go to Orbitz and get your tickets. He's the golden boy of contemporary theatre, and if you catch him while he's young, you can make fun of him in twenty years when he's "lost his edge."

Alan Cumming is set to play Max, a homosexual who improves his standing in the Dachau concentration camp by bribing a guard to switch his clothing from pink triangle to a jewish star of David. This is a role made famous by a number of actors, including Sir Ian McKellan, and Richard Gere.

Cumming, who won a Tony in 1998 for Cabaret , has been in films like X-men United, and Reefer Madness, was recently seen on Broadway in The Threepenny Opera. (We love Alan Cumming, but we didn't hear good things.)

Aptly named newcomer Chris New will play the doomed lover Horst, in what must surely be the most exciting break of his career.

Seriously, it's a great play, and totally a downer. A gay play where nobody meets a good end, just like all the others. The difference here is that Sherman is openly gay and treats us like people. His film credits include The Boy from Oz. and Mrs. Henderson Presents.

It gets even gayer, friends. Sherman also wrote the lyrics to the original song which will be added to the play, with music written by none other than Pet Shop Boys star Chris Lowe.

Gay Runway Dish!

August 15, 2006

One of our favorite blogs is (of course) Project Rungay. Stopping by there this morning, we were immediately linked to one of our other favorites, AfterElton.com. And both of them were running a story that leads ultimately back to our website: that’s right, Project Runway uber-gays, Kayne and Michael, talking about solidarity and Tim Gunn.

We spent the morning reading the interview (and snacking) and talking about all the ways in which it's unfair that we've never met those boys. We're Outzone! We work for Bravo! And we're adorable!

No matter, it’s a lot of fun to hear the boys catty gossip about the other designers. Some examples

On Malan’s tree-bark dress: “He just loved the beauty of the fabric.":

On Katherine’s unfair early dismissal: “A doggy outfit with a hoodie on it? Come on!”.

And Vincent: “He really is a nut, like certifiably, and he'll tell you.”

Amid all the buzz about Robert’s designs being called “boring” over the last two episodes, and everyone on our message boards berating poor Kayne for being such a snitch -- we are dying to know what happens next.

Of course the interview gives no details. So we'll have to watch the rest of the season like everyone else. Which seems unfair to us.

Whatever. At least we get that constant supply of snacks from "Top Chef." That is, until the gang from "WorkOut" comes by and makes us do push-ups. And then there's the Queer Eye guys, don't get us started on the Queer Eye guys ...

Gatorade Makes You Straight!

August 14, 2006

Our good friends over at gay.com published an article by our other good friends over at The Advocate, about this weekend’s American Psychological Association’s annual convention.

Yes. Of course the lunatic fringe of anti-gay rights pundits were out in force, including the hilariously named NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) with their latest attempt to (once again) list homosexuality as a mental disorder.

The APA removed homosexuality from the list of mental disorders in 1974, and reclassified the danger to homosexuals not as the act or desire itself, but the mental anguish associated with coping in a society unwilling to accept them fully. Even the pentagon removed homosexuality from their list of mental illness just this past June.

And yet, there they were, NARTH and a few other groups, all proponents of programs claiming that with a little therapy, one can change their orientation back to the “right” orientation. These are the kooks let’s be clear, who sometimes resort to exorcisms. And some who advocate drinking Gatorade to make you feel more manly.

Not kidding. Gatorade. In our opinion, if you're a man trying to get over your attraction to other men, those sweaty athletes pouring liquids down the front of themselves probably aren't going to do all that much good.

This past January, one of the country’s most eminent experts in “sexual reorientation therapy,” Richard Cohen, was expelled from the American Psychological Association for unethical behavior, namely for “meeting the needs of a political agenda, rather than the needs of his clients.”

All of this is too stupid for us to even warrant a response. But this is our job. We get mail from a lot of gay youth who are terrified about who they are. If you are an “ex- gay,” by all means we respect your choice. Be as straight as you’d like. But we love our big gay lives. And we love any of those who may be struggling with the steps it will take to figure it out themselves. So, Narth, Dr. Dobson, etc. Leave them alone. Stop it.

And, thankfully, the American Psychological Association agrees:

“For over three decades the consensus of the mental health community has been that homosexuality is not an illness and therefore not in need of a cure. The APA's concern about the positions espoused by NARTH and so-called conversion therapy is that they are not supported by the science. There is simply no sufficient scientifically sound evidence that sexual orientation can be changed. Our further concern is that the positions espoused by NARTH and Focus on the Family create an environment in which prejudice and discrimination can flourish."

Right. On.

Ellen Sticking Around

August 14, 2006

America’s favorite tame lesbian will stay on the air until 2010.

Connecting with the stay-at-home gays, upscale urban soccer moms, senior citizens, and those she loves to ridicule (home-schooled children) Ellen has consistently grown her audience and driven out competitors like Sharon Osbourne and Ryan Seacrest -- who is not gay. He keeps telling everyone who will listen. So we feel it worth mentioning. Not. A. Homo.

This week, she closed the deal that will keep her show on the air at least through the 2009-2010 season.
We don’t know how to label this news. Good? Bad? We’re proud of a lesbian who makes good. We love that she always has Allison Janney in various forms of undress hanging around. We’re all for those parts.

At the same time: how many times can we see her check in with all those mentally ill people who are obsessed with her? Or watch the shilling of goods we would never buy for ourselves? It’s all kind of getting to be a little much.

But is that really what's sticking in our craw? Or is it that we'd just like to see Ellen, unlike those that went before her, stand up to the horrifying hetero-centric culture that TV perpetuates?

There. We said it.

Rubbish Patrol for Boy George

August 14, 2006

With a city-issued broom in his hand, the '80s icon who sang ''Karma Chameleon'' and ''Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?'' started his court-ordered community service this morning, sweeping leaves and trash off the sidewalks of New York.

All went well, until the folks from the media showed up and then there was some screaming.
''You think you're better than me?'' he yelled. ''Go home. Let me do my community service.''

Boy George took to the streets of Manhattan as a Department of Sanitation worker wearing an orange vest, dark capri pants, shoes without socks, and no makeup. ''This is supposed to be making me humble. Let me do this,'' he said. ''I just want to do my job.''

In June, Boy George was sentenced to community service after he pled guilty to falsely reporting a burglary at his lower Manhattan apartment. When police arrived to investigate, they found no traces of burglary, but they did find some cocaine he had left lying about.

''It's up to you whether you make it an exercise in humiliation or in humility,'' said the judge at the sentencing, and Boy George took him at his word, asking that his service project be more in line with his status as an '80s icon: petitioning to spend the time helping teenagers make a public service announcement.

Among his other proposals to the court: holding a fashion and makeup workshop, serving as a D.J. at an HIV/AIDS benefit or doing telephone outreach.

We're with the judge on this one -- leaving drugs around after calling the police because you think somebody might be breaking in might seem like harmless pop-star fun, but if we did it ... there's no way a makeup class is going to get us off the hook.

Boy George's manager, Jeremy Pearce, told reporters shortly after the singer arrived for his first day on the job: ''He doesn't show any kind of emotion about these things. He takes it in his stride. He doesn't need to be humiliated. He's a humble person.''

Your Gay Weekend

August 11, 2006

You're not getting enough sun. We at Outzone are here to remind you that there are plenty of things to do as the summer begins it’s final descent. And we've spent all day chasing them down for you.

If you’re in the middle of our great country, you can stop by any one of these events:
The Colorado Gay Rodeo Association’s Beer Bust and Rodeo Show at Club Static in Fort Collins, CO. The Beer Bust will feature Mr.Gay Rodeo, and you seriously don’t want to miss that.

This weekend is also Indiana Black Pride Weekend. Celebrate what they’re calling “Diversity and Soul” with many downtown Indianapolis events including the big Saturday night kick-off with outrageous performer Martha Wash.

Or check out the Miss Gay Pennsylvania Pageant at the Pink Lizard Lounge in Harrisburg, PA.

If you’re on the East Coast, check out these weekend hot spots:

There are plenty of shows to check out at the New York International Fringe Festival, including “The Return of the Wayward Son,” a phantasmagoric peek into the world of gay prostitutes, and “Blue Balls:In & Out of Uniform with the NYPD,” a true story about a boy who grows up to be a gay cop.

In Fort Lauderdale, Florida this weekend, the Gay Softball World Series kicks off, and will last through most of this month.

Big doings in Provincetown, Mass this weekend with the annual carnivale, a two day street fair of homo delights, right there at the tip of Cape Cod. This year's theme is "Gay Paree." They've spelled it out for you, just to make sure you drop the "s."

And be sure to catch the North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, which is in it’s 11th year. A total of 60 films, including documentaries, features, and shorts all combine alongside promised appearances by both Margaret Cho and 60's pin-up boy Tab Hunter. At the Carolina Theatre of Durham.

Finally, If you’re traveling internationally:

This happens to be the final weekend for WorldPride in Jerusalem, though officials have had a rough go of it. The march went on quietly, despite the police ban.

This weekend is also Tokyo Pride in Japan. and Copenhagen Pride in Denmark. Go. Get. Tickets! Everyone is pretty in Denmark!.

Have a good weekend. And let us know how it goes!

Gays are Always Explicit

August 11, 2006

Our friends over at Gayleague.com are reporting the latest on the ever expanding world of gay comic book characters.

Marvel Comic's Editor in Chief Joe Quesada was quoted as saying: “No ongoing solo series starring gay or lesbian characters at Marvel Comics will go out without a "MAX" or "Explicit content label.”

Which means this. Gays can be the lead characters, but we’re still going to get a warning label.

There were, of course, lots of apologies and justifications about Marvel Comic's support of gay characters, but the explicit warnings are staying in place, due to pressure from the outside. "The last thing we want to do is have everybody come down on the entire comic book industry," Quesada said, "and I do think it is ridiculous."

The comment was made on a panel at this year's Wizard World Chicago. The whole thing started in 2003 when Marvel revealed that “The Rawhide Kid” was, in fact, a gay cowboy. Stan Lee appeared on “Crossfire” and was ambushed by Andrea Lafferty of the Traditional Values Coalition for his “irresponsible” use of a comic book character.

Outzone spoke with this country's leading gay comic book writer, Andersen Gabrych, who has written both Batgirl and Batman: Detective. He had this to say:

“Wow, that's stupid. Hardcore, rightwing Christians stopped reading comic books in the 50’s, so why are we still pandering to them? Explicit content is explicit content and of course that should get a label. But to warn people that a lead character is a homo- just stoo. pid.”

Bradley Bradley Bradley

August 10, 2006

Okay. We know. We know. He didn’t know who Cher was.

We’ll explain it for the (obviously) insane: In that episode of Scooby-Doo, when they had that couple guest-starring? Little guy named Sonny? Yeah. Cher was the one next to him. She’s also, you know, kind of a big deal. As a fashion icon. Someone who burns down every red carpet she steps on? Bradley? Any of this … Bradley?

Bradley is sweet. We’ll give him that. And he’s one of those boys that we like to categorize as a “six beer gay.” He’s probably not gay at all, but one night, real late, at the summer stock community theater where he’s working as a costumer, you can probably convince him you “won’t tell anybody.” That’s just the way it is with some boys. Sometimes they’re clueless enough to make out with.

We know what you’re thinking: We seem to spend a lot of time speculating about the sexual preference of all the runway contestants. Out. Zone. TV. Dot. Com. It’s what we do.

Ball's Big Debut

August 10, 2006

Toni Collette, Aaron Eckhardt, and Maria Bello are all lining up to play any part of openly gay writer-producer Alan Ball’s directorial debut.

Casting and financing were set in motion this week for Ball to direct his widely-anticipated script, which remains untitled. Ball is best known for writing the Academy Award winning American Beauty and for creating and writing "Six Feet Under" on HBO.

The movie was inspired by the novel “Towelhead” by Alicia Erian.

Taking place during the Gulf War, the movie follows the story of sexually confused Jasira, who has an American mother and Lebanese father. Of the novel, Amazon says it, “especially when it comes to the imbalance of power, and the things we do for love ... it rings true for readers who remember the rarely poetic transition from childhood to young adulthood…

Oh we remember.

Must See TV for Show Queens

August 10, 2006

There are those of us around here at Outzone who took several years of tap and jazz, plenty of voice classes, and enough theatre history that we ended up…writers. All we wanted to do was dance. Who new it could all have been avoided if we’d just thought to go on reality show that will land us a lead role in a Broadway show?!

The show, called "You're the One That We Want," is a talent search wherein contestants compete to play the roles in the Broadway revival of Grease, which opens next June.

Seriously. A Broadway production. Of “Grease.” Kathleen Marshall is the choreographer. Roles that some people work their entire lives for. This all strikes us as a little … what’s the word?

"This is not some tacky show; this is the real thing," said BBC Worldwide director of content Wayne Garvie. "This is a credible attempt to find two young Americans who will have a proper role on Broadway, in two of the great musical theater roles."

Hello 89-Year-Old Dolly!

August 09, 2006

Will the soldiers sing for Phyllis Diller when she makes the rounds trying to raise money for the American Veterans Disabled for Life Memorial?

Will she be able to say that damn long name with a straight face?

It’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” military in this country, so show queens in uniform will likely keep mum. But whatever the audience does, Ms. Diller is taking her 89-year-old body of the road to help the armed services, just like she used to do with Bob Hope on USO tours a few centuries, er, decades ago.

The memorial she’s working on was authorized in 2000 by then-President Clinton. It’ll be the nation's first permanent tribute to the 3 million disabled American veterans living today – gay ones included, although their sexuality will not be mentioned.

The memorial will be located on a more than 2-acre site across from the U.S. Botanic Garden in Washington. No public funds will be used.

That’s where Diller comes in.

''I have spent a lifetime entertaining, working with and doing all I can to support our armed forces. To be a part of building a memorial to honor disabled American veterans is truly an honor and commitment I am pleased to make,'' Diller said.

As long as she sings, we’ll pay ... or donate.

American Girl Breeds Theatrical Feminsists

August 09, 2006

Theater in New York is back.

You didn’t know it was gone? Well, then you haven’t been taking your daughter, niece or cousin’s best friend’s daughter to the American Girl Place superstore in Manhattan lately. The show, a big girly dolly production that leaves kids dying to buy more dolls, was haulted for two days while the actors went on strike.

Seems they want to join Actor’s Equity, the union, but American Girl won’t let them. The actors claim the store is guilty of unfair labor practices, and had withdrawn proposed salary raises after the actors said they wanted to join the union.

The union wrote a letter. The store admitted they had to let the actors join the union, but wasn’t going to help them. And meanwhile, gay men with their nieces in tow shelled out $32 for tickets to a show that had scenes cut out. They were not offered refunds, but free tickets for another show.

All in all, the experience watching the truncated show was very postmodern. And in the end, the kids were offered a lesson in collective bargaining along with how to sing and dance like a little lady.

American Girl may not like the results, but they may have just helped breed the next wave of feminists and labor activists.

"Lost" Action and (Straight) Romance

August 08, 2006

We’ve been waiting all summer for Lost to start again. And we still have another month, at least, until the crazy show about the stranded members of Oceanic flight XYZ returns.

But word is spreading about casting additions (great) and plot thickenings (not so great). We were holding out for a gay(er) element. Really. You can’t have Jack and Sawyer and Charlie and that Jude Law look-a-like who got killed early, all on the same show and not give us some gay(er) action.

Bets are on — or were on — that Jack and Sawyer were going to end up together if even just in a ménage-a-trois with Kate. But now we hear that Rodrigo Santoro “the Brazilian Tom Cruise” is Kate’s love interest. And she and Jack continue to dance around each other.

Well, we hope that Rodrigo is Tom Cruise cute, not Tom Cruise crazy.

And we hope a little Dharma Initiative glitter gets sprinkled soon.

Or we’re going to be pissed.

Games Over, Bickering Begins

August 08, 2006

The Outgames wrapped up in Montreal on Sunday night with Mark Tewksbury talking, Liza Minnelli singing, and a bunch of French women la-la-la-ing. (That’s “singing” in French.)

But the competition continues. This time over how successful the games were.

The straight chamber of commerce says the event was a huge success, that visitors spent $100,000,000 in the bilingual city.

The gay chamber of commerce -- yes, they have a gay chamber of commerce -- says the gays spent $180,000,000.

We say. Good job. Both numbers are impressive. And then we say: Why the gays always have to fight over the size of the pot? The amount, even at the low end is equal to Montreal’s Just for Laughs festival, so no matter how you slice it: that’s a lotta money.

Anyway, an OUTzone reporter was in Montreal this weekend and he can verify that there indeed were more gays that ever should be in one place in the city for the event. But, as was rumored, Americans were outnumbered at every turn. This reporter tried to wear black socks with sandals and look German so he could fit in. It worked until he opened his mouth.

But only to inspire another fight about whether Montreal’s Outgames were a bigger success than Chicago’s Gay Games. Oh, the arguing.

A beg from OUTzone to the gays everywhere: please stop arguing and go run another marathon, or something equally athletic.

Blogging Project RunGAY

August 08, 2006

Who says gay culture is dead?

Oh, we did. That’s because we went all the way to Montreal (during the OUTgames and a complimentary “cultural festival” called Divers/Cite) and found nothing but drunk gay euros and lesbians in sandals with serious calluses on their heels—or they were straight off the set of “The L Word.” Is there no middle ground, ladies?

Boys were worse; they were just drunk and clogging the swimming arena.

But, digression. A bright spot of witty homosexual culture is online: Project RunGAY. It’s a blog about “Project Runway” and it’s damn funny. The clip HERE is worth the price of admission, which is zero. Don’t get excited. The site is free.

Anyway: kudos to smart gays who weren’t drunk in Montreal’s “village” this weekend. We’re proud of you.

Madonna Responds

August 07, 2006

Last week we reported on Madonna’s uncanny ability to unite the religions of the world against a common enemy: her.

So how is Lady Madonna responding to all of this? She’s doing what she’s always done -- going on with the show.
At this week’s concert in Rome, Madonna made slight alterations to the costuming worn during the song “Forbidden Love,” painting a Jewish Star of David on one dancer and a Muslim Star and Crescent on another.

Also this week, we’ve been reading a few well-timed press releases about her future efforts to shock the world: Helping Orphans in Malawi. That’s right -- helping orphans.

Turns out, Madonna has been meeting with former President Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Sachs, two people whose primary causes are to provide health care and other fundamental help to African nations that need it. Madonna plans to travel to Africa and also to fund a documentary about the plight of African children.

"For the last few years -- now that I have children and now that I have what I consider to be a better perspective on life -- I have felt responsible for the children of the world … One of the main precepts of Kabbalah is that we're put on this Earth to help people. And your job is to figure out how you can help, and what it is that you can do.''
Good for you, Madge.

Clay Aiken Sued

August 07, 2006

On his slow descent into obscurity, Clay Aiken has hit another scandal -- this time involving a woman.

Jeannie Holleman, 50, who is essentially a friend of a friend of Aiken’s mom, is suing him for defamation, claiming that Aiken has done everything in his power to block the release of her “unauthorized tribute” book, “Out of the Blue, Clay it Forward.”

If the title alone doesn't stop publication, then nothing is going to.

Holleman is asking for $260,000 in damages and also that he agree to one of three bizarre conditions: Either he a)endorse the book, b) write a gushing introduction to it, or c) agree to sell it at his concerts for the next five years.

Holleman also claims that Clay’s bodyguards “manhandled” her on one occasion, which has been denied by Aiken.

We say this with all due respect: We think Clay could stop all of these lunatic attacks by coming out of the closet. But then, only if he is, in fact, gay. Really, why deny it? It can’t hurt his career -- he’s not that big of a star.

Uncivil Union

August 07, 2006

Lisa meets Janet. Lisa gets Vermont-sanctioned civil union with Janet. Lisa gets artificially inseminated. Lisa and Janet have happy family until Lisa renounces homosexuality, civilly un-unions herself from Janet, and moves back to Virginia. Fight over baby ensues. State Supreme Courts scratch their heads.

In what has been dubbed as America’s first official gay divorce -- between Janet Miller-Jenkins (left) and Lisa Miller-Jenkins -- the rules are trickier. The Vermont State Supreme Court has ruled that since the union and separation are governed by their civil union laws, the Virginia Courts have no jurisdiction in the matter. But Virginia has ruled that the case is ruled by their states ban on gay marriage, and therefore it’s rulings should be upheld.

Lawyers on both sides agree that it’s kind of a huge mess.

What’s at stake is the question of how one state interprets the gay marriage laws of another state, and what constitutes a “parent.” For now, Vermont has granted custody to Janet. Virginia has delayed judgment pending Vermont’s decisions.

Gay Games Finally Make Money

August 04, 2006

The Gay Games in Chicago featured a streaker at the opening ceremony, Cyndi Lauper at the closing ceremony and 140,000 attendees. And it made a boatload of money.

The Games, which ended July 22 in Chicago, have released preliminary estimates that ticket sales were above expectations by nearly 50%. This is significant because both the 1998 Amsterdam and 2002 Sydney Gay Games lost enormous sums of money.

Does this mean that Gay Games VIII, to be held in 2010 in Cologne, Germany, might receive both greater sponsorship? Better yet, can we all get a little prior notice about WHEN it’s happening next time?

One of our writers happened to catch the Amsterdam games in 1998. And these are, apparently, events you must see. His verdict: “It’s like a gay universe, it’s unlike anything else you’ll ever see. Everyone seems so proud, but without the hysteria and theatrics of a parade. It’s totally bizarre. Also -- very few shirts.”

Big Gay Movie Weekend

August 04, 2006

It has been a sweltering week, just about everywhere. Good news: this weekend, in air-conditioned theaters everywhere, you can find a new slew of gay movies. The run-down:

Shock to the System: A Donald Strachey Mystery, starring Chad Allen as gay private eye Donal Strachey, who infiltrates one of those awful "we'll turn you straight" conversion centers in order to find a murderer.

Another Gay Movie starring a bunch of people, some of whom OUTzone staff went to college with, and from the director of Edge of Seventeen, the movie takes a frequently naked and always gay slant on the teen comedy genre.

The Night Listener -- Robin Williams plays a gay writer approached by one of those adorable Culkin moppets in a psychological thriller. Toni Collete plays crazy, which we always love.

Little Miss Sunshine, a family road movie with Greg Kinnear as dad, Toni Collette (again) as mom, and Steve Carell as sad gay uncle.

Or, really, if you’re just looking for eye candy -- we have to recommend Pirates of the Carribean. Sure, it's long and doesn’t have an ending, but you’ll definitely want to make out with everyone in it.

Mother Madonna

August 04, 2006

Madonna's current concert tour is hitting Rome, and she's leaving in the big crucifixion moment. Of course, the Roman church is outraged. The shocker? All churches are outraged.

Catholic, Jewish and Muslim leaders in Rome have expressed anger this week over what they’re calling a stunt. "It's not the first time Madonna stages such an act. We deplore it, we feel it is an act of bad taste," said president of the Muslim World League in Italy.

Jewish leaders had this to say: "We express solidarity with the Catholic world. It's a disrespectful act, and to do it in Rome is even worse."

A spokesperson for Madonna said: “Madonna does not think Jesus would be mad at her, as his teaching of loving thy neighbor and tolerance is Madonna's message as well. The context of Madonna's performance on the crucifix is not negative nor disrespectful toward the church."

Madonna: Bringing all religions together. In outrage.

Keith Talks About Getting the Boot from "PR"

August 03, 2006

Word up!

Bravotv.com has just posted an exclusive interview with Keith, the dude who was nixed from "Project Runway" last night for almost-cheating and "leaving the production."

Interviewing him is gay Bravo programming exec Andy Cohen. Go here to read the inteview.

Finally, Keith dishes his love of "fairy tales" and admits where he went while he was MIA from the PR production, something that is most definitely against the rules.

Keith was at his "boyfriend's apartment."

"All I did was I went to my boyfriend's apartment, found his spare key, found an email from the Executive Producer, and asked him to contact me. I don't know what to say -- that's the deal."

Oh, there's so much more juice to the deal. So much that we're going back to read it all over again.

Snarky Man Keith is Auf'd

August 03, 2006

After hounding the Bravo kids down the hall for a DVD of last nights episode. We were Auf’d. And Auf’d again until we went home and watched it ourselves.

And damn if that gay-adjacent Keith Michaels didn’t get the boot for cheating. Everyone is all in a kerfuffle around here this morning. Most OUTzoners really liked Keith. We were waiting for him to come out. (Not that we know he’s gay, just a feeling.)

Keith was like the guy in high school who was mean to me, but I still knew he’d make out with me if I got him alone. Yes, Keith was a jerk. And he cheated, and you should absolutely check out Tim’s blog about the whole thing. Tim makes it all clear as day.

Sadly, though, Bonnie was also out. This was exceptionally hard to watch: Bonnie was sweet, like your big sister’s friends. This was a decision that seemed to pain everyone, including Nina Garcia, and Andy Cohen, Bravo's programming exec.

The best part about last night's episode is that we at Outzone have finally decided on our favorite contestant: Laura Bennet. Besides pulling Angela out of her sad and desperate tailspin, Laura has created an unlikely clique with Michael, who brings out a side of her that we suspected all along: that she can't wait until her kids are older and possibly gay and she can say the f word in front of them.

also: if you want to see Keith defend himself. www.Bravotv.com has awesome footage online.

Meryl, Again

August 03, 2006

There were a few years when Meryl lay low ... very low. In her biography someday, someone will say it was when she was focusing on being a mom (we think).

But everyone will agree that she’s back with a vengeance. Devil Wears Prada is rocking her reputation, expanding her fan base and making a lot of money. A Prairie Home Companion is reminding everyone how she can save a movie with her singular voice and beautiful squinty smile. She, or at least her voice, is in the animated Ant Bully.

And now, she’s starring in “Mother Courage” in New York’s Central Park during the heat of August. (Bless her.)

And she’s signed on to narrate Hurricane on the Bayou, an IMAX extravaganza about Katrina. The film was shot before and after the hurricane.

The documentary will open in New Orleans on Aug. 29 to mark the anniversary of Katrina's surge through the Gulf Coast, the company said. It will be released in Los Angeles on Sept. 8 and in IMAX theaters worldwide on Dec. 22.

''Meryl Streep's ability to connect with audiences and the depth she brings to everything she does makes her the ideal narrator for this film, which has so many moods,'' director-producer Greg MacGillivray said in a statement.
In 1995, Streep lent her voice to his film, The Living Sea.

MacGillivray said Hurricane on the Bayou is a call to restore Louisiana's coastal wetlands, which help protect New Orleans against deadly storms, as well as a ''profound musical celebration of a city that has been called the soul of America.''

The film stars music producer-songwriter Allen Toussaint, blues singer-guitarist Tab Benoit, 14-year-old fiddler Amanda Shaw and zydeco accordion player Chubby Carrier.

Streep, 57, has won Oscars for her roles in Sophie's Choice and Kramer vs. Kramer. Her screen credits also include The Deer Hunter, Silkwood, Out of Africa and The Bridges of Madison County.

Wolverine Loves to Dance and Sing

August 03, 2006

Hugh Jackman is in negotiations to remake the movie of the musical Carousel by Rodgers and Hammerstein.

Of course, after seeing his torso wet and glistening in Woody Allen's Scoop, this is fine by us. He can do what ever he wants. As long as he takes his shirt off.

Carousel is not the most modern tale. It follows the story of a carnival barker, Billy Bigelow, who has been killed in a robbery attempt, and comes back from the dead in an attempt to right the wrongs of his past.

And to sing sing sing!

Jackman is no stranger to musical theater -- he recently played the role of gay costume designer Peter Allen in “The Boy From Oz.” He also played Curly in the revival of "Oklahoma" in 1998.

The good news here is that movie musicals are making a comeback, and we love that. Everyone has an inner musical-theatre-queen. (Yes even you.) The success of Chicago has led Hollywood to start churning them out in full force. And even better is the fact that huge stars like Jackman keep starring in them. The latest films in production are Hairspray, with John Travolta as Edna Turnblatt -- and Dreamgirls, starring Beyonce. Yes. Beyonce.

Tennessee Williams’ Condo 4 Sale

August 03, 2006

Want to live in the house where a gay playwriting genius once lived? Now you can.

Tennessee Williams’ boyhood home has been gutted, redecorated, and has been put up for sale for $220,000.

Backstory: “The Glass Menagerie” is about a young man eager to go out and start his own (secret) life -- a life that most certainly includes D.H. Lawrence novels and a few strange men. The play, by gay genius Tennessee Williams is set in a St. Louis apartment but is based on Williams’ boyhood home.

''They say I should sell this one for the most money,'' says Mei Yang, the buildings new owner and developer. ''The more I learned about him on the Internet, I thought, ‘Wow, I feel like his spirit is with me in making it beautiful again.’ I feel so lucky.''

Tennessee Williams often referred to St. Louis as “St. Pollution” -- and theater scholars have long found the connection between “The Glass Menagerie” and Williams own yearning to escape a world in which he had to repress his being gay, and his own artistic endeavors.

How Does Jeter Smell?

August 02, 2006

Derek Jeter is coming out.

With a cologne.

Jeter, New York Yankees baseball star and international man-of-handsomeness says his fragrance, called “Driven,” is something he didn’t want to “overpower a room.”

Unfortunately, it’s overpowering his playing these days. The press has been making fun of him for days. For the record, we think it’s A-Okay for a man to wear cologne AND to make his own.

Amen.

The back story: Jeter enlisted the help of his mom to create the what has been described as a blend of: crushed leaves, black pepper, chilled grapefruit, rhubarb, lavender, spearmint, bamboo, driftwood and oak moss.

That sounds delicious. Almost like a salad that Martha Stewart might make, if she were a little drunk.

Poor Derek Jeter, he has very pretty eyes and we absolutely would love to have him play for the team. Still, despite the rumors about his orientation, Jeter insists that, like Oprah, if he were gay, he would tell everyone.

We believe him. And we’ll give his spicy little cologne a schpritz.

Rudnick Acts Out With Baranski

August 02, 2006

The author of “Jeffrey” wrote a one-act called “On the Fence,” where Matthew Shepard, having just been killed, is visited by the ghosts of Eleanor Roosevelt and Paul Lynde, who have come to take him to heaven.

For that alone, he’s an Outzone hero.

Now he’s back with a new project and so we are overly excited.

Rudnick’s new play “Regrets Only” opens at the Manhattan Theatre Club in November.

“Regrets Only” will star Christine Baranski as Tibby McCoullough, a Manhattan socialite. Baranski, formerly of TV’s “Cybil” and who starred in “The Birdcage, has just closed a successful run as “Mame” at the Kennedy Center in DC.

The show opens November 14th and New York is beautiful that time of year. Get. Tickets. Now.

Elton John Wants More Glam

August 02, 2006

Attention, rock 'n' rollers. Elton John is sick of your tattoos and piercings. He’s talking about drugs, AIDS, and the Scissor Sisters, too.

John, who will perform at the third Fashion Rocks concert Sept. 7 at Radio City Music Hall, says he'd like American bands to adopt the cutting-edge, glam-rock style made popular by his British peers.

And, uhm, by the likes of himself – generations ago. All this and more in the self-promotional Conde Nast produced “magazine” Fashion Rocks to be included in with GQ, etc. next month.

''It's been a thing the British have always been very good at, with Bowie, myself, T. Rex, the Who, Queen. ... We all embraced that side of it,'' said John, 59.

But John does give a shout-out to the very gay Scissor Sisters.

''And I think it's good that some American bands are beginning to do that, but it's still very rare for bands to make a real effort. So when you get groups like The Killers and Scissor Sisters who come along, it's thrilling. I'm so over the tattoos and the T-shirts and rings through the noses. It's not pretty, it's not pleasant, and it’s not exciting. Please stop it now.''

John says his theatrical style, made famous in his '70s heyday, was meant ''to give people a bit of fun'' while he sat at the piano for long sets.

''When I hear something new that's really, really great, I ring people up and say, 'I think that's a fantastic album,''' he says.

CBS will air a two-hour special on the Fashion Rocks concert Sept. 8 (9 p.m. EDT). Proceeds from the concert, which kicks off New York Fashion Week, will benefit John's AIDS foundation.

''I've been very lucky in my life,'' he says. ''I was a drug addict for 16 years, at a time when AIDS was just getting started, and I put myself at so much risk. I came out of it negative rather than positive, and I wanted to do something to give back.''

On the Net:
http://fashionrocks06.com
http://www.eltonjohn.com

Jessica Loves Us, We love Ryan

August 01, 2006

Excuse us while we smile like we won the lottery, but when Jessica Simpson gives you a shout-out … that’s something to get all toothy about.

Why?

Because the diva includes us in the intro to the video for for her new single, “Public Affair,” which we have for your preview here.

Jessica and her famous friends Christina Applegate, Eva Longoria, and Ryan Seacrest kick off the song with a little limo action, discussing the varying degrees of fame they so desire. From the front, driver Seacrest yells: “I wanna be so famous my hairstylist gets his own show on Bravo!”

Yep. And then we smile again.

Cher & Tori 4 Sale

August 01, 2006

Attention, K-Mart Shoppers and Cher-queens everywhere. Exit the store, turn up the stereo, and head home to your computer. Cher and Tori Spelling are hawking their goods online.

In an effort to, no kidding, redecorate her home, Cher is auctioning off 700 items, including neo-Gothic art, an H2 Hummer, a pair of painted brass chandeliers, and a 16th century terra cotta figure of Christ. The auction is expected to bring in more than $1 million, with a ''nice percentage'' of the proceeds going to the Cher Charitable Foundation.

The actual items are not posted yet. But check Sotheby’s soon for more pictures. (That’s just how far ahead of the curve we are at OUTzone. We have the news before it’s even news.)

''I'm truly excited about it,'' Cher said, ''I'm only keeping about five items from everything I have. When I got off the road, something happened and I said, 'You know, I think it's time to do something different,' but my house is so full that there's no way to do something different unless I totally change it.''

Not surprisingly … ''The amount of costumes I have is staggering, so this sale doesn't even make a dent,'' she said. She will also auction 85 pieces of jewelry, including beaded items she made herself.

That’s right: Made. Herself.

Not to be outdone, Tori Spelling is selling her wordly goods (mostly clothes) on eBay -- some of it, she says: “with no visible stains or tears.”

Uhm, gu-ross.

It’s unclear as to whether or not Tori is keeping the cash or donating it to charity. Bottom line: Tori-Queens who think a dress from the starlet will go up in value, get shopping immediately.

Extreme Vanity Affair

August 01, 2006

Too many gays (as in A LOT) believe the horoscopes in Vanity Fair are the ONLY horoscopes worth reading. Really. Head to Ptown, Fire(d) Island or East Hampton and you are guaranteed to find at least sixty-five beachcombers poring over the VF horoscopes.

But now, Vanity Fair has gone as crazy as the gays. September’s issue has a “new” theme for the look-book: Style.

That sound you hear is everyone at OUTzone yawning. (Isn’t every issue style-ish?)

Anyway: They have an “international best dressed list” that is straight out of The Onion, or a skit on “Saturday Night Live. “

Best dressed? Kate Moss. Excuse us while we laugh, but she’s a model. That’s what models do! They dress well – with help. They get free clothes, too.

Others included are only slightly less ridiculous. Oprah Winfrey, Renee Zellweger, Gwen Stefani, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, CNN newsman Anderson Cooper, filmmaker Sofia Coppola, Prince William, Jordan's Queen Rania and George Clooney.

Uhm, all --- yes, ALL --- can afford to wear whatever they want. So does that make us bitter? Or is Vanity Fair lost its collective mind?

Gwen Stefani … cool. George Clooney, good because we think he’s smart, talented and hot. But Condoleezza Rice? The woman dresses like a real estate broker from Long Island.

Bartlett In and Kenneth Out

August 01, 2006

While the world melts, fashion designers are planning their Spring 2007 shows to take place in Fall 2006.

And we thought George Bush was inexplicable.

Anyway: first a newsy bit about the shows is out. Kenneth Cole, purveyor of bland upscale Banana Republic-esque fashion is skipping a runway show. Why, while "Project Runway" rivets earthlings would he dare miss a date with a real runway?

Because he’s “repositioning” his brand.

That’s fashion-speak for “in trouble” and trying to get his ducks in a row. That’s cliché-speak for business is iffy and he’s saving money.

But, gays take heed. John Bartlett, whether he asked for it or not -- and something tells us he did not , got the opening 9am slot on day one of Fashion Week.

Then again, maybe he did request it. Everyone will be fresh and not bored by all the crap coming down the runways in Bryant Park and will think his work is genius.

We already think he’s genius. And “hunky,” said one of our coworkers.

This unnamed OUTzone writer continued: “I know him!” (Translation: he met him once.)

“He’s di-VINE and talented and hunky. I kissed him once! In a Jacuzzi so long ago.” (Translation: I made a pass at him and only got to first base.)

If John Bartlett and his peeps invite anyone from OUTzone to see his show, we promise to not let our eager friend anywhere near.

We’re sending him to Kenneth Cole’s private repositioning.