International Male Memories

September 17, 2007

This isn't really news, of course. Especially not for the generations of men who had a copy of "International Male" stashed under their mattresses. But over the weekend, we came across this gem of an article in the New York Times, and we absolutely had to share.

Alex Kuczynski tells the harrowing tale of being confronted with the racy rag in boarding school, and how it scared the daylights out of her. And here we were thinking that only lonesome suburban teens took a peek at the rippled stomachs and healthy packages within its pages. Turns out, straight girls were also gazing in amazement about, um... it's classy fashion.

She writes, "I found the presentation of male genitalia, packaged and posed and seemingly aroused, totally terrifying. Were they really that long and tuber-like? And were men supposed to stare at you in such a brooding, animal way, their eyes glowering at siesta level, their mouths puckered in baby-doll O’s?" And about the fashion within: "its inspiration (seemingly) from prison, pornography, Chinese Communist Army garb, firefighters, the priesthood, the Old West, surf culture, Mahatma Gandhi (although not the diaper look), construction workers, even Edwardian women, it decks its models out in everything from pirate gear to “Miami Vice” suits."

So... since it's been a long time, we thought we'd revisit the International Male, and see what they're up to these days.

And boy, times have changed. they still offer your favorite briefs, thongs, bikinis, and banana hammocks, but they also offer "Problem Solvers", which just makes us feel old. Need to make that butt look more rounded? Try this look. What about that tummy that just wont flatten? They offer this solution. And need a little help in the front? Don't fret.

As the men who grew up sneaking copies of this around their bedrooms get older, and lumpier, and wider, the International Male must follow suit, and offer them a helping hand. We just hope the siesta eyes and the puckered mouths make as much sense with someone sporting the Padded Butt Brief.