Going Bald Sucks

August 24, 2007

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Over a year ago. I noticed something was a little off. I was sitting in a meeting in my boss' office writing notes and a few strands of hair fell gently off my head and on to my to my notepad. Thinking nothing of it, and hoping no one was watching I shooed them off the table and I went on with my day. Then the very next day a few more hairs appeared on my notebook. Something wasn't right.

To start, I have had baby fine hair since my 13th summer when I decided it would look cool if I dumped a bottle of peroxide on my head every week. My plan was to look like a chunky Mary Stuart Masterson in "Some Kind of Wonderful," instead I looked more like an aging golden retriever. After that failed attempt I have since opted to sit with the old ladies in my hometown and get my hair highlighted by wearing a cap that looks like a Barbie head when you turn it inside out. Ahh..., the secrets of my beauty.

After a few endless days of staring at the back of my head by angling a compact mirror in the right light for hours and calling my mother every night insisting that their were bald ladies in our family that no one wanted to talk about, I finally broke down and went to a dermatologist. And I thought they only did skin…

To my worst fears, she confirmed that my hair looked a little thin. Finally someone mentions a part of my body as thin... and its my hair. God Damn it.

Dr's Advice: Rogaine… Rogaine the crap you have to apply on the top of your head twice a day for the rest of your life. The evil solution that promises if you go out drinking one night and forget to apply its magical powers you will wake up to all your hair on your pillow. This was a commitment way too similar to some of my past relationships, here I was again waking up in a panic fearing what was lying next to me in the morning…

Another blow was finding out that the only variety of Rogaine I could find in NYC was floral scented. I really want to meet the genius that come up with the idea that already frustrated balding women would want their topical hair solution to smell like a fresh summer breeze.

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