Trip to Colin's

August 22, 2007

I really hate when you’re watching a made-for-TV-movie and every chance they get they leave you with a completely unnecessary cliffhanger, suspense-driven, climax at every commercial break!? Well, I admittedly just did that to you all last week and what can I say besides “I’m sorry”. So to recap (because I love using that word) last week I left you wondering… “Who “dances” backup for a new up-and-coming musical talent, which young fashionista goes fashion-hiking in Louboutin’s and gets away with it and WHICH poor boy’s fate is decided by a stumbling, incoherent 200+ lb drunk man!!!”

…So here goes…

So the next morning, after the big fireworks display and grand 18-bedroom house, we all woke up and had a fabulous breakfast alfresco, joined by yet more friends of out hosts. Their names have unfortunately slipped my mind, but how adorable their new puppy was most certainly hasn’t. Gup was especially curious to meet his new friend/competition in the “Cute Puppy under 15lbs” category, I mean look at him; he looks like a little fuzzy panda!

Needless to say Gup wasn’t happy to have his reign threatened and wasn’t in the best of moods after the new puppy’s arrival and was wearing this frown for the rest of the day.

To work off breakfast, we decided to rough it a bit and climb to the top of the McAdoo’s property. And by “climb” I mean drive. And by “drive” I mean ride in the back of a pick-up truck. Nevertheless, Kieran was more than pleased at the idea of and officially put on his “I’m excited to be riding in the back of a pick-up truck” face… adorable.

However, all bumps, bruises and bugs swallowed were soon forgotten when we reached the summit of the mountain. It was an absolutely GORGEOUS day and the view is something I admittedly have forgotten how much I’ve missed after spending so much time in NYC.

It was the perfect day for one of my absolute favorite pastimes: picking out naughty shapes in the cloud formations! I’m a classy gal, I know, but with fair weather cumulus clouds like that overhead – I dare you not to play next time you’re out!

Kieran took these precious moments of relaxation and used it to his full advantage… by showing me some of his latest rehearsed moves from the “Suzanne Summers Better Thighs in Thirty Days” home video.

What can I say; we’re just like Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor in “Green Acres”.

Now I wouldn’t by any call myself a professional photographer, but I could not be more pleased with this snapshot – if this isn’t hot s**t than I don’t know what is!

Oh, and because I absolutely promised that I wouldn’t post a picture of Elle in her hiking shoes… I decided to post this picture of Elle in her hiking Louboutin’s. Aren’t they just to die for! Who knew patent peep-toes were fashionable AND functional?!

We then hopped back in the truck, and drove down to the edge of their property, bordering the local damn. Though it was illegal and Kieran and I are facing possibly extremely brutal prosecution by local authorities, I wanted to share these pics of our dangerous venture out onto the damn. Honestly, it was about 40ft off the ground and pretty dumb… but made for a great picture!

After Kieran and I made it back safely, everyone stopped to enjoy the view…

…unfortunately the boys couldn’t keep their roving eyes to themselves and began heckling me with repulsive, suggestive slurs... I loved it…

…and because one simply can’t go too long without striking a fashion pose (and apparently a gang sign Elle?)…

We were eventually on our way with Colin as trek leader for this leg of the journey. I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, the views were just gorgeous.

Everything was going smoothly until we reached what can only be described as “The Tree of Certain Doom”. Suspended staggeringly high in the air, the way was blocked unless we chose to cross over this perilous path! What lay below you ask? Well most certainly a most painful death, but worse, dirty shoes. Colin was the bravest of the group, and chose to venture forth first, testing not only his luck – but his LIFE! After he crossed successful (thank goodness!) he turned to wish Kieran encouragement, his time having come to put his courage, and balance, to the test.

So as I was crossing third, assuring Elle that she should turn back from the “Rocks of Jagged Discomfort and Slightly Moist” and to be brave and take the high-road… literally…

…my life flashed before my eyes…

… I wasn’t going to die in Converse and H&M jeans! Needless to say the rest of the excursion was successful and we soon rushed back to the house to pretty ourselves for that night’s festivities; a family friend was hosting a party and it was also her birthday, the perfect place for chaos to brew!

The evening began smoothly enough, with some outdoor cocktails and dog-petting (much to Kieran’s delight).

However whenever there is alcohol involved, and adults who apparently don’t know their limits, the night soon turned to one of sheer terror. I’ll first begin by stating that almost everyone at this party was delightful – good conversation was assured no matter who you bumped into – save for one woman.

I don’t have a photo, I don’t remember her name, but she was just absolutely bitter and spiteful. First she got into an argument with Kieran about how certain performance art is considered “acting”, specifically a performance involving a woman rolling around spreading feces all over herself. Secondly, telling him straight-up that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and asking if he even has studied acting… which is just downright insulting, and then mumbling some ridiculous comment about being gay. So basically at this point the bitch is going down and we’re well-intentioned to help her get there.

If that wasn’t enough she keeps trying to corner me because she knew that I was “on that one show about designers”, and was insistent on getting some personal fashion tips for her “overly bony skin too tight for my age but I’m still skinny and thus must look cute but don’t” look. The conversation that began as she barged into an existing conversation went something like this:

Me: “…and then afterward….” (Interrupted by skeletal looking hand flying in my face)

Crazy B***H: “SOOO I hear you’re a fashion designer. Well what do you think would look good on me? On MY body.” (Bony hands running down her body and showing her frail figure)

Me: “Well, with your skin tone and hair color, rich colors would look great on you. Reds, emerald tones and prints would really make you stand out.”

CB: “NO! NO! That wouldn’t work at all! No, what else?”

Me: “…ummm, well it looks like you have really long legs and nice shoulders. Have you thought about a wrap dress?”

CB: “UGHHH, no that’s all wrong. What else?” (Continually grabbing her clothing and squeezing it tighter around her)

Me: “Honestly you obviously have a style that I don’t understand, sorry.” (Looking around) “Oh, hey Elle. What? I can’t hear you - I’m coming!” (Dash into other room)

So that, plus the Kieran bashing soon led to a complete dislike of C.B. and we were able to successfully avoid her drunkenness until adorable, talented singer/dancer/actor Colin was asked to play the guitar, sing a little ditty and possibly do some soft-shoe for after dinner entertainment. Guess which drunken hag volunteered to accompany him as a “back-up dancer”? Yup, C.B. There was already an adorable woman with a nice voice who was helping Colin out but Nooooooooo, C.B. had to be the center of attention. Fast-forward to her teetering on her platform wedges, stumbling a few steps to her left and practically banging her head on the door frame and declaring triumphantly “I’m ok!”… Damn.

Unfortunately, while all of our eyes were all busy watching Colin and the leaning tower of drunkenness, we didn’t notice that another drunken mess was making his way to the front of the room. Down he goes. Hits his head on a table on his way down. Falls on top of a 7 yr old boy who is lying on the stomach of a Golden Retriever being pet by Kieran all adoringly watching Colin sing! Dog yelps, head smacks, boy cries and all hell breaks loose. Soon another woman falls (not drunk) and comments of “My knee!” fill the air, we all head to the exit, via the kitchen to work our way out and the biggest punch bowl I’ve ever seen magically slides off the table onto the floor – shattering at our bustling feet.

Long story short we made it out of there safe enough, made a few new friends, and a crapload of good material for the blog! The night ended with Kieran playing with Gup till 2am… sigh… what a vacation.

Random Week

August 06, 2007

The past two weeks have been-- fo’ real-- cri-ZAZ-zy! It’s been a complete whirlwind (all good, mind you), but I feel I need a vacation, though I’m not even sure from what.

To start things off, my sister came from MI for the second fitting for her wedding dress (as you may recall, she’s getting married at the end of September, and yours truly is doing the gown!). All went well, but of course it was filled with the usual “Do you think this will look good?”, “I’m not sure…”, “Is it poofy enough?” questions. But after walking her through what the finished dress will look like, I think she left a very happy bride-to-be. I must share, though, that I love when women (brides, customers, etc) will bring in pictures and say something like “I want to look like this”, when the image in the magazine couldn’t be MORE different than the person holding it. Let’s just say, it took a bit of coaxing on my part to purge certain thoughts from my lovely sister’s head about what looks good on her body, and to explain that finding the right look for you is much more important than copying someone else’s style… which is always a good rule to follow. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to wait for pics of the finished dress until September… you KNOW that’s going to be a fun blog!

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