Driven to Distraction

I have dreams and goals and stuff to do around the house. These are the things this week that kept me from getting to any of it.


OutFest Screen Grabs, and Jeff Stryker

July 25, 2006

The Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Film Festival -- AKA "OutFest" -- wrapped up last week and I have a bit of postpartum depression going on, although that implies that I gave birth to it, when in reality, I did no such thing.

The Outfest folks and the filmmakers gave birth. I just ate the placenta. The point is that Outfest is my favorite time of year, my high holy days if you will, and I have many tidbits to share about it.

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The fest kicked off on Thursday, July 8th with Puccini for Beginners, the charming new romantic farce from Maria Maggenti, director of the beloved The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love. Maggenti greeted the crowd and admitted that yes, she’s a “has-bian,” which I think means she’s a woman who used to identify as lesbian but is currently involved with a man.

I really hope that term catches on so that one day Anne Heche and Julie Cipher can go on The Amazing Race together and every time we see them step onto the pit stop mat or argue over airline tickets, there’ll be a graphic in the corner of the screen that says “Has-bians.”

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SELL IT LIKE IT IS

July 13, 2006

SHE HAD ME AT “COOL BEANS”
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When Kelly Clarkson emerged as the one to beat on season one of American Idol, I declared my love for her to be “deep and abiding” and I’ve not wavered since. I made her one of my TiVo Key Words. I saw From Justin to Kelly in the movie theater. I cherish every new version of “Beautiful Disaster” she serves up. And hey, if she wants to do her concerts barefoot, that’s fine by me -- though I do worry about her stepping on a rusty nail and dying of tetanus or tripping on a speaker cable and getting electrocuted. The point is, I’ll follow that former cocktail waitress/movie theater usher anywhere. I might even follow her to better skin.

While watching E! the other day--they were counting down something, I forget what, but it was very important for me to see all of it--I made the somewhat shocking discovery that my favorite Burlston, Texas native is now doing commercials for Proactiv skincare. My first thought was, “Are you sure, Kelly? This is borderline Cher infomercial territory. Cher still hasn’t lived down her stint stumping for the Laurie Davis hair kit.” But my reservations vanished as I watched Kelly open up about her journey with problem skin. I savored every zoom into her pre-Proactiv pizza face and I particularly loved the part where she admitted the stress of doing Idol was absolute murder on her skin. No surprise there. It can’t be easy to get your beauty sleep when Nikki McKibbin’s next door doing God knows what at all hours. Anyway, Kelly’s Proactiv spot was like a flashback to Season One of Idol where Kelly only wore make-up on show days, ate like a normal person and said “Cool beans,” all the time. I wonder if she still says “Cool beans” or if Clive Davis or some other A & R titan stomped the cool beans right out of her.

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Dennis Hensley Blog Archive


Dennis Hensley's Blog

Author of "Screening Party" and "Misadventures in the (213)," Hensley shares his daily distractions here. He's also co-host of the radio show Twist and his website is at dennishensley.com

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