Give It Away, Give It Away, Give It Away Now!

December 11, 2006

Has anyone noticed that "The View" has gone giveaway crazy?

If I showed up in the audience of that show and didn’t at least get a Jet-ski, I would be super pissed. I think it was Rosie who brought the give-away fever to the show. Rosie loves giving stuff away. When she had the Kentucky coal mining couple David and Mary from "The Amazing Race" on, she gave them trips so their sheltered kids could see the world and a car. But wait, there’s more. She also gave them a new house! Now, we all adored David and Mary on "The Race" and thought they were good salt-of-the-earth types, but a new house?

The Cho brothers were just as good-hearted as David and Mary but because they weren’t hillbillies, they didn’t get shit. Watching Rosie give David and Mary all that stuff while simultaneously having to get the plugs in for the various companies who donated it all was really surreal and a little exhausting. It just kept going on and on and poor David and Mary looked as befuddled as the rest of us. I wonder if Oprah saw that and thought, ‘Oh fuck. I’m going to have to give one of the chicks from "Top Model" a kidney just to keep up.’

I just heard that there’s going to be an ‘All-Star’ edition of "The Race" and I hope David and Mary are back—they’re to "The Race" what Rupert was to "Survivor." I wonder if gay exes Chip and Reichen will join forces again or maybe Reichen will do it with Lance Bass. That would be awesome. While we’re talking dream teams, I think K-Fed should team up with Bobby Brown as the “Bad Influences” unless Bobby on parole at the moment. If he is, scratch that and maybe we could put K-Fed with Kid Rock.

But back to "The View," I do love Rosie on that show. My favorite thing about her is that she’s a genuine fan. When someone comes on the show and she says she watches their show every week, or plays their CD non-stop, it’s because she does. And when she tells personal stories about people like Iman, she makes them seem more interesting than they would be regularly. She’s not just reading stuff off a card. She gushes for the fan in all of us.

Oh, and how great was Danny DeVito’s drunken appearance. I think people would have been harder on him for showing up drunk if he hadn’t been out drinking with George Clooney. If he’d been out with his old "Taxi" co-star turned Celebrity Fit Club nutjob Jeff Conaway, folks would have come down harder on him. But because we all want to be forced by Clooney to do ‘one more shot’, we went easy on him.