Sweeps Without Shame

December 05, 2006

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As we all know, November is a sweeps period in the cutthroat world of TV ratings. To my mind, no one goes sweeps-nutty quite like folks at "Entertainment Tonight" and "The Insider." This November, they realy outdid themselves.

First there were the anorexic twins. Getting one chatty, telegenic anorexic is money in the bank for ET, as much a staple of the show as Mary Hart’s shapely legs. But two is a gift from on high. They doubled their pleasure, doubled their fun and did very well in key demo of women 18 to 49.

You know when the exec producer got the Post-It on her desk that said, “We found anorexic twins,” she danced a jig right there in her office then called The Coffee Bean to have Ice-Blendeds delivered for the entire staff. Melissa, the original ET anorexic from a few years back, must have been livid when she got the news she was being, well, downsized, but sorry honey, out with old in with the new, particularly if there’s two of them and they’re willing to cry.

Sweeps also meant viewers got to see footage of a baby being yanked from the womb of troubled Trim-Spa queen Anna-Nicole Smith. How’s that for Thanksgiving fun? Someone pass the stuffing.

But my favorite sweeps stunt of all was Ugly Vanessa. This feature was inspired by the TV hit "Ugly Betty," a show whose spirited message of character over looks, is totally lost on ET. They don’t even give lip service to it. Instead, they stick their cute and perky correspondent, Vanessa Manilo, in a fat suit, glasses and braces and send her into public while Janis Ian’s poignant outsider ode “At Seventeen” plays in the background.

At first, I felt bad for Janis that ET had co-opted her classic song for this tacky sweeps stunt, but then I saw later that they had Janis on to talk about her own teen ugliness so I don’t feel that bad anymore. I hope they paid her a bunch of money for the song so maybe she can add a room onto the house or something.

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