Whining and Dining

March 21, 2007

Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 | Page 5 | Page 6 | Page 7 | Page 8

Isabel Archer, an American heiress and free thinker travels to Europe and makes an unfortunate alliance with Gilbert Osmond, a smooth but cold art collector...

Hold on, what am I doing? I’m supposed to be blogging about Episode 7 of “Top Design” but instead I’m writing a summary of the Henry James novel, The Portrait of a Lady. I blame this mental detour on judge Kelly Wearstler, who has decided to show up for work in full Nicole Kidman Portrait of a Lady-drag. I keep waiting for her to bust out in period lingo. “Me thinks Carisa’s color choices are too bold,” she could say. “What say you, gov-nah?” And just when Kelly was starting to get her groove back after the Unfortunate Crimping Disaster of a few weeks ago.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s take it back to the opening of the show, specifically the “Top Design” theme song. I use the term song loosely because it’s really just some energetic beats accompanied by a series of ‘hey’s and ‘ah’s. This is quite similar to the theme from “America’s Next Top Model,” where Tyra says, “Wanna be on top?” and then the words go, “Na na na na na na...na na na na na na...”

What’s the deal with these shows? Would it break the budget to serve up an actual lyric?

It makes me miss the 70’s and 80’s when it seemed like half my 45 collection was made up of TV themes like “Laverne and Shirley,” “Angie” and “The Greatest American Hero.” I think “Top Design” should be able to do better than, “Hey hey hey hey,” so I’m going offer my own theme song...at the end of this blog. (That tease just felt very Howie Mandel.)

READ MORE > >