Driven to Distraction
I have dreams and goals and stuff to do around the house. These are the things this week that kept me from getting to any of it.
Pick a Cover, Any Cover
April 04, 2007
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Before we get into the 9th episode of Top Design, I want to apologize in advance for the fact that there’s going to be a gaping hole in this week’s blog--a hole that’s shaped like Goil. Yes, Goil got the boot last week and I’m not sure which stage of grief I’m in at the moment--I think it’s Stage 11, Chocolate. The sad truth is it’s time for me to face the fact that there are other people on the show.
People like Matt, for example. Like many TD fans, I was a bit surprised to learn a few episodes back that Matt had a wife and child back home and is, in fact, heterosexual. Since then, I’ve tried to refrain from making any, “Whatever, Mary,” or down-low jokes about Matt, but now that the show’s editors have taken to mining this territory, I might have to, too.
In the opening of the episode, there’s a classic moment where it cuts from a voice-over of Matt worrying about what’s going on “back at home” directly to Matt saying that he, Andrea, and Carisa are like "Charlie’s Angels" and he’s Farrah. I’m sorry, but straight guys don’t compare themselves to Farrah. They talk about how strange and awesome her nipples are.
The gay vibe I get from Matt is similar to the gay vibe I get from Clip, the AMC Theater chain’s animated film guy mascot. He’s always leaping and sashaying around and sometimes he pretends to conduct an orchestra. He does of a lot of coy shrugs, too. I think it’s just a matter of time before I run into Clip at the Abbey here in West Hollywood. Or maybe one my friends will meet him on Connexion, trick with him, and then later claim over brunch that Clip “isn’t into dating right now” but is happy to be his "buddy."
Speaking of sexual fluidity, did anyone see that lesbians on the down-low episode of Oprah a while back? I’ve often theorized that Oprah pretends to be dumber than she is when it comes to discussing gay sexuality but in this episode she blew my mind by revealing that she had never heard of the Kinsey scale of sexuality. Seriously? How can that be?
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Dennis Hensley's Blog
Author of "Screening Party" and "Misadventures in the (213)," Hensley shares his daily distractions here. He's also co-host of the radio show Twist and his website is at dennishensley.com
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Comments
David Savage wrote:
Dennis, love your blog--you are always able to write what I'm thinking about TD. Just a couple of observations. First, AMC's Clip (or "Clippy") really is gay. My partner, who used to work at AMC's corporate HQ always said so, and that the entire office new it, but the execs didn't want it to get out.
As far as Matt goes, what can I say? I mean, I can't tell you how many gay men I know that are (or were) married to women, have children, and all that. Some of them have wives that go along with it. Others gave up the pretense a long time ago and got divorced from their wives and are now living happily (or not) with their same-sex partners. On the other hand, it could be that Matt is like a good friend I had in college. A bunch of us queers ran around together all the time, and this friend (who I'll call Jimmy because that's not his name)was right there with us. Now the funny thing is, if you lined all 6 or 7 of us up in a row and asked a total stranger to pick out the gay guy, they would have pointed to Jimmy immediately. But, he's not gay either. So I guess we'll always wonder about Matt (but his voice is SO gay).
So it's down to Carisa and Matt, and I predict that unless Matt has a total meltdown AND Carisa really hits a grand slam, the Top Designer will be Matt.
posted at April 5, 2007 10:33 AM
Rick Nelson wrote:
I'm afraid to guess what Jonathan has under his tie knot...but I'm perfectly fine with offering more possibilities:
A) Simon Noonan
B) another head, ala' Zaphod Beeblebrox in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
C) Kuato, the Martian mutant from Total Recall
D)a TARDIS; hey, why should the wardrobe be the only thing he shares with Doctor Who?
E) Goil
haven't watched the latest episode yet, so I may be making more snide comments soon.
posted at April 5, 2007 01:51 PM
Sarkika wrote:
A goiter?
posted at April 5, 2007 05:27 PM
Dennis Hensley wrote:
Thanks for the comments guys. David - that's so hilarious about Clip! I was right about him...my Gaydar works on animated characters better than people it seems.
posted at April 6, 2007 01:56 PM
Danny wrote:
He's hiding the fact that he has a thin penis.
posted at April 6, 2007 03:18 PM
Holly wrote:
I am really surprised you didn't mention how beautiful Margaret looked on this episode. She left Kelly in the dust today. Also, I believe the knots in Adler's ties have gotten bigger as the weeks progress. Perhaps someone could do a timeline. Which reminds me...wasn't last week Easter week? Perhaps he's hiding an egg in there.
posted at April 11, 2007 09:42 PM
Holly wrote:
I am really surprised you didn't mention how beautiful Margaret looked on this episode. She left Kelly in the dust today. Also, I believe the knots in Adler's ties have gotten bigger as the weeks progress. Perhaps someone could do a timeline. Which reminds me...wasn't last week Easter week? Perhaps he's hiding an egg in there.
posted at April 11, 2007 09:44 PM
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