The Island of Misfit Boys

May 29, 2007

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So last weekend, my friend Guy celebrated his birthday by getting a group of friends together to spend a day on Catalina Island. Now, I’ve lived in L.A. for twenty years and I had never been to Catalina. The closest I’ve come is watching films put out by Catalina Home Video -- like The Best Little Warehouse in L.A. for example -- but that’s not the same as going to Catalina. For starters, no one has a boat in Warehouse. They just have box cutters and big, big bulges.

On the ferry ride over we played the home game of "Family Feud" that my friend Jack brought. One question was "name a Michael Jackson song?" Shockingly, “Dirty Diana” made the top 10 yet “P.Y.T.” and “Smooth Criminal” were nowhere to be found. That’s surprising, right? I can’t even think of how “Dirty Diana” goes. I was pleased to note, however, that none of MJ’s shamelessly gimmicky duets from the 80’s like “The Girl is Mine,” “Say Say Say” and “State of Shock,” made the cut. Yes, they were huge hits but they sucked and we all knew it at the time. It’s as if the second those songs ended their chart runs they evaporated into thin air.

On a related note, I heard a rumor recently that Michael Jackson was reaching out to Paula Abdul with an eye toward collaborating. To that I say, 'Oh, if only.' I think he should write a song for her called, “Pro-Tools, Take the Wheel.” I think Paula 2007 is more afraid of singing than she is terrorism.

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