Hey Paula: Episode 1

June 28, 2007

When I first read in the paper that Paula Abdul had signed on to do a reality show with Bravo, I thought that Christmas had come early and then I thought it had to be a misprint. There’s no way the loopy, and often incomprehensible, Paula that I enjoyed each week on “American Idol” would consent to having cameras around all the time. She can barely keep it together for the two hours a week that she has to be on TV. Round the clock coverage seemed like the career equivalent of a death wish.

But as it turns out, Paula loves a challenge. She’s a warrior, as she tells us early on in episode 1 of “Hey Paula.” A warrior. That’s classic. Some of the reviews I’ve read so far of “Hey Paula” have used the term train wreck, as in “It’s train wreck-tastic.” For my money, “Hey Paula” isn’t a full-on train wreck. It’s more like a “Little Engine That Could wreck,” because the show is only a half-hour and Paula, above all else, is determined. She’s the queen of “I think I can … I think I can …”

After watching this first episode, I already hope the show runs for years because, in addition to being very entertaining, I think “Hey Paula” is a vivid and compelling cautionary tale. You parents out there: if your brilliant son or daughter ever comes home from their freshman year at college talking about how they want to blow of med school and be famous instead, just fire up the Tivo and let ‘em live Paula’s life for an hour or two. That’ll set ‘em straight soon enough.

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She Is Strong ... She Is Invincible ... She Is Kelly!

June 27, 2007

So I’m listening to Kelly Clarkson’s new CD, “My December,” as I write this. You know, the one that label boss Clive Davis reportedly didn’t want you to hear because he didn’t think it had radio hits. I pleased to say I’m totally digging it. It’s catchier than the buzz would have you to believe. Given the media reports and Clive’s backhanded diss at the Grammys where he gushed over Carrie Underwood’s talent for letting him call the shots while ignoring Kelly, you’d think Kelly had abandoned pop altogether in favor of Gregorian chants. But that’s not the case. Kelly’s in great voice -- blistering and powerful on some songs, achingly fragile on others -- and you can really tell that the songs mean something to her. That should count for something.

Now, I get that the whole music biz is in the toilet and the labels need hits like a drowning man needs an inflatable love doll, but the way I see it, Kelly had five huge radio hits from her last CD when most big artists are lucky if they score one so if she wants to crack open her diary and vent about the jerk who done her wrong, I feel like she’s earned the right.

It’s too soon to say whether I’ll take any of the songs from “My December” into my heart or hearts like I did “Beautiful Disaster” from her first album, which was never a single by the way, still I’m loving listening to this new CD because it feels like a political act. When I went to Target on the Tuesday it came out and plunked down my $9.95 (it was on sale, hooray!) I was surprised to discover my feelings were bigger than me and bigger than Kelly. I felt like I was sticking it to the man. Somehow in my mind, the Clive controversy came to represent all the injustices of the Bush decade. After six and a half years of shit-storm brought on by a lot of old rich white guys running the show, it’s inspiring to see a young female, who is by all accounts a sweet, decent person, stand up for herself and say, “Sorry, fellas, I’m not compromising.” That takes guts.

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Summer Better Than Others

June 19, 2007

Some random thoughts about the summer movie season, so far:

OCEAN’S 13
You know how movies have MPAA warnings about sex and violence and mature language and so forth? I think Ocean’s 13 should have its own special warning, something like: This film may cause female actors over 30 to want to kill themselves. If I was an actress of a certain again and I saw that movie, I would walk out, climb the tallest building I could find and jump.

First off, there’s only one woman in the whole movie, the vivacious and talented Ellen Barkin, who plays the dutiful assistant to the film’s villainous casino boss, Al Pacino. It’s fun to see Barkin on screen and not on Page 6 but her character is kind of a joke; Matt Damon refers to her as a “cougar.” Has this term been around for a while? I never heard of it until recently, and now, it seems cougar is everywhere.

Matt sets his sites on seducing Barkin with a secret sex scent so he can steal some diamonds from under her nose. Barkin’s body looks amazing in her tight hot pink mini-dress -- she clearly hasn’t eaten a carb since The Big Easy. Still, the joke is sort of on her -- the desperate, dried-up cougar. Here’s how I like to imagine director Steven Soderbergh pitched it to her: “You don’t get to eat anything ‘till the wrap party and we still get to call you a cougar. Take it or leave it.”

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Multiplex Schmultiplex: A Visit to L.A.'s Classic Movie Palaces

June 04, 2007

When asked what their favorite thing about living L.A. is, most locals talk about the weather and say they like being close to the ocean and the mountains. Now, I’m sure I would love both those places if I ever visited them but I rarely do.

But I do go to the movies. And sometimes I go to the movies in really cool venues with really interesting people. This, I think, is my favorite thing about living in L.A.: special, one-of-a-kind movie screenings. Perhaps the venue is unique, like the Cinespia Summer Film Series that happens in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery where a few years back I saw The Shining and canoodled with a friend of a friend who said he would call me and never did. Or maybe there are special guests on hand, like the screening of The Pirate Movie I saw a few years back where the delectable Christopher Atkins showed up in the flesh and helped us try to make sense of what we just watched.

Back in 2000, I got to meet my teenage obsession Olivia Newton John at the Outfest premier of Sordid Lives. I was with two friends, Richard and Leslie, who were also huge ONJ fans. We went up to chat with her after the screening -- each hoping to trump the other by having the most notable Olivia interaction. I don’t even remember what I said. It was something benign like, “Thank you for being here. I loved the movie.” Yawn, snooze, lame. But at least I didn’t make her feel old like my friend Leslie who gushed, “My sister and I used to listen to your 8-tracks in our basement.”

It was my friend Richard who really knocked it out of the park. He got a little misty and told her how much he appreciated the fact that her song “Trust Yourself”, a track off her little known CD Gaia, was played over the closing credits of Sordid because, “that was the song that inspired me when I was coming out and it got me through some really tough times,” and blah blah blah. Olivia was visibly moved by his story. Afterwards, I complimented Richard for winning the Olivia derby with his coming out story and he said, “Oh, I made that all up. I actually came out earlier but I do like that song.”

“What?” I shrieked. I didn’t know you could make stuff up. I felt burned but I digress.

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