Selfish and Perverse: Bob Smith

September 28, 2007

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Stand-up comic and author Bob Smith (Openly Bob, Way to Go, Smith) may have just written my favorite gay love triangle/Alaskan fisherman novel ever! It’s called Selfish and Perverse and it’s about an struggling writer named Nelson who finds himself—both physically and emotionally--in the Alaskan wilderness, torn between his hunky fisherman boyfriend and a sex-dripping tag-along actor who is supposedly there to research a role but seems more interested in banging everyone in sight. I caught up with Bob, who is in the middle of a whirlwind national book tour, for a game of Five Questions.

DENNIS HENSLEY: I was once in Anchorage for one night once and it happened to be the night of the biggest gay event of the year--one of those big gay royalty balls that are popular in lots of places. I got my picture taken with Mr. Alaska Leather. He was both nice and leathery. What surprised you about gay life in Alaska?

BOB SMITH: Well, first of all, that there actually is gay life in Alaska. I’ve performed at gay prides in Juneau, Anchorage and Fairbanks. My all-time favorite pride, Juneau’s was held in a six-car parking lot. Gay Alaskans are very cosmopolitan--as well traveled as gay Australians--but they’re also unlike other gay communities. For example, I once I saw a drag queen in Anchorage who had grown up in a small native Alaskan Aleutian village. He could butcher a walrus and Diana Ross.

If we went to Alaska right now, what's something butch and fisherman-like that you could do that would totally blow my mind?

Well, I’ve been to Alaska over 12 times and have done many butch things, like rafting down the remote Copper River with four other gay men. We didn’t see any people for five days. But I’m not butch like Alaskans are and I have no wilderness skills whatsoever. One time the rudder on my kayak fell off -- I had forgotten to ask how you stop a kayak – don’t do that -- and I couldn’t stop and crashed into an iceberg. (You’re not supposed to get close to icebergs because they can tip over on you.) But I didn’t panic and actually laughed -- afterward. My strengths are that I always do what I’m told by the gay wilderness experts -- “Bob, paddle FAST!” as we’re barreling down rapids – and I never complain about mosquitoes or a rainy cold morning. (My Alaskan friends have told me that I’m not a whiner which gets you points up there.) The thing is when I’m in Alaska, I never feel like complaining because I’m so enthralled that I’m actually in Alaska.

You have so many wonderfully funny turns of phrase in your book. One of my favorites is 'swishful thinking'? Can you tell our readers what that means?

It’s used to describe the type of gay man who automatically assumes that any man he desires must be gay; it’s a case of swishful thinking. One of things that I decided to do in the book is come up with some new gay slang. In addition to ‘swishful thinking’, I came up with ‘whorphan’ – that’s when you go out to a gay bar with a pal and he leaves with a guy and you’re left a whorphan. Also, ‘wactor’ short for waiter/actor and ‘near-miss’ which is transgendered guys, who have breast implants but keep their dicks.

I’ll do my best to help them catch on. Show and tell time. Could you share a couple of your favorite photos from Alaska?

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