Pumpkin Carving (Sorta like Porn...)

October 29, 2007

Every year at Halloween, my friend Red hosts a pumpkin carving / scary movie party at his condo in Toluca Lake, CA. Guests are divided into teams of three and the team who handcrafts the best pumpkin gets a prize package that sometimes includes pornography.

I’ve been to this party several times and always have a blast. I have to admit that this year I felt a certain anxiety going in about whether or not I was going to be able to ‘bring it’ creatively speaking. I experience the same feeling whenever I go to one of those Color Me Mine ceramic painting parties. This is because I was a pretty good at art as a kid. I made cool posters, greeting cards, homecoming float blueprints, etc. That stuff came naturally. So as an adult, I used to approach these parties with the confidence of someone who knew from their school days that their block lettering rocked it out. But then after crashing and burning at a few art-themed parties—the Easter Bonnet debacle of ’02 comes to mind--my confidence has been shaken. Apparently, to stay on top of ones visual arts skills one needs to practice more than once a decade. It’s not like riding a bike.

So I try to approach do-it-yourself art parties with an attitude that says, ‘It’s not about winning, it’s about having fun, even when there’s porn at stake.’

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Thoughts on Fall TV

October 23, 2007

The most buzzed about show of the fall has definitely been ABC’s mortality tale Pushing Daises. Well, guess what? I was on it! Okay, I, myself, wasn’t on it but one of my book covers was, sort of, and that’s close enough for me.

Okay, did everyone see the episode a few weeks back about the cars that ran on dandelions? Well, I’m friendly with the show’s creator, the brilliant Bryan Fuller, and he told me that when the show’s make-up artist was coming up with how they’d costume the dandelion showroom car models, one of the inspirations was the cover of my novel Misadventures in the (213). The make-up artist didn’t know that Bryan and I were friends. She just brought in the book and said, ‘What about this?’ and Bryan said, ‘That guy’s a friend of mine!’ Check out the similarity below.

Readers have asked me where the cover idea came from. I wish I could say it was mine, all mine, but it all came from the publisher’s in-house designer. When it was first sent to me to look at, I was really thrown at first. On the surface, it had nothing to do with the story of my book about friends on the fringe of show biz but I set it on my coffee table and every time I’d walk by, I’d smile at it. In a few hours, I was officially in love.

I asked where the image came from and I was told it was a fashion photo from the 60’s or 70’s. I have no idea who the model is but I’d love to give her a copy of the book, if she’s still alive. John Stamos, of all people, had a bet with his wife at the time, Rebecca Romijn, that the woman on the cover was me in drag. Sorry, Blackie, no dice.

It was a very effective cover in terms of getting people’s attention. If bookstores had the choice of facing one book forward on a shelf of books, my book was a prime choice because it was so striking. When I did my first tour, Bridget Jones Diary was really hot and its cover also featured a face. I used to make our covers kiss, hoping some of Helen Fielding’s sales magic would rub off on me.

That cover image brings back a lot of very wonderful memories and I’m very happy to see it living on on Pushing Daises. Now I wonder if I can somehow get credit for that on my IMDB page.

Some other random thoughts on the new Fall TV season:

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A Whole New Ball Game

October 16, 2007

Last week, I did something I’ve never done in all my years as a Los Angeleno. I went to a Dodger game.

Some observations: Dodger Stadium is a beautiful place to be. I love the way it was all lit up and how green the grass was. My boyfriend John Michael and I did notice that there was advertising virtually everywhere. Even the cup holders on the seatbacks in front of us had ads for Coca Cola on one side and Carl’s Jr. on the other. No flat surface was safe from product placement.

At one point, the fan in front of us cut the cheese and I could swear the fart floated up in front of us in a bubble that had 1-800-FLOWERS printed on it. Even the changing of pitchers moment had a sponsor--EZ-Lube. There’s a gay sex joke in there about pitching and catching and lube and easiness but I’m feeling far too butch at the moment to make it.

The players’ pants weren’t as tight as I thought they would be. If that makes me sound like a lech, so be it. John Michael said the pants are tighter in San Francisco which doesn’t surprise me at all. What was hot, however, were the little introductory video montages they’d play whenever a Dodger went up to bat where the player would strike different poses. It’s like they were in the opening credits of Beverly Hills 90210. Fun.

I also thought it was interesting that if a play resulted in a close call by the umpire, it wasn’t replayed on the video screen. This was obviously done to avoid riots. And speaking of danger, I’m surprised more people aren’t killed by line drives. Those things come at you faster than lightning. I can see the headline now: GAY BLOGGER KILLED BY FOUL BALL.

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