Dolly Parton Saved My Halloween

November 01, 2006

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Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love how it brings out so much creativity in people and turns our society upside down for the day. On Halloween you can be in traffic and look into the car next to yours and see Santa Claus driving or a group of Paris Hiltons sticking their tongues out at you. You're just minding your business and a Dolly
Parton with stubble and hairy legs saunters down the sidewalk.

My fascination with drag dates back to when I was a kid. I was seven years old. I put on a blond wig, a giant bra that I stuffed with socks to become Dolly Parton. Then I lip-synched "Islands In the Stream" on a low wall in front of the neighbor's house. Around this same time my Mommalou figured out a way to use my interest in drag to keep me calm so she could finish her housework. She put me in her best Easter Dress, sat me in the middle of the living room and spread the dress all around me. She told me that I was a giant cake and that cakes can't move or they'll fall apart. I bought it hook line and sinker. I was so happy to be in the center of that pink chiffon "frosting" that I sat there perfectly still while she vacuumed the room around me.

This just goes to show that it doesn't matter if you're seven or seventy, male or female. Just throw on that party dress, live it up and have a Happy Halloween!

Another reason I love Halloween so much is every year me and my partner and two of our best friends throw a bitchin' house party. It's a monster that gets bigger every year.

The first year was somewhat manageable. A couple hundred people came, a few stayed all night and there were some pretty strange hook-ups. Before the night was through Frankenstein got it on with a naughty nurse and a Phantom of the Opera in our living room. We didn't want to know.

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