It is always interesting to see how all the events that took place over the past several months present themselves in an hour long show. Right off the bat there were tons of issues that we were all working through. Since last season a lot of tension built up between a few of us, mostly Doug and myself.

Reviewing the show, it just reminds me of how silly and trivial it all was. Our words carry a lot of power, and the one lesson that I have learned since filming, is that you must be careful with what you say.

Man I feel fat watching that episode. Now you gotta understand, compared to the rest of the perfect bodies on the show, most people would look chubby. I am a chef, which means that I am constantly surrounded by yummy treats.... EVERY DAY ALL DAY!!! Still, being a trainer at the same time means that I need to pick up the slack and trim down ... which is highly emphasized in this episode.

Luckily I have the ability to laugh at myself, because if I didn't I think I may go into hiding or just move to South America never to be seen or heard from again.

The biggest gift from this show has been developing a friendship with Jackie. We share the same sense of humor and love to laugh with one another. With all the stress in our lives, being able to have someone to joke around with is so precious.

You also get to meet Ellen K. Ellen is one of my biggest inspirations. She has been so supportive over the last couple years, that we have become like family. Not only is she the hottest MILF ever... she has a heart of gold and has always been there for me, thick or thin. You have to cherish that.

Well, keep watching ... the drama pursues and the topics we have to deal with get very serious. But through it all, I think we all keep a good sense of humor. This season helped bring the cast much closer... but you will have to watch to see for yourself.

I think unknowingly, Oprah has mastered that philosophy. Since the beginning of her life, if she wanted something- she created it ... just because she knew she could. Done and done. That is an amazing gift to have. She has defied almost every odd to achieve a life and career that most only dream of.

The quality I respect most about her is that she genuinely does what she does for the betterment of man (and woman) kind. There seems to be few out there that live their lives to enrich the lives of those around them. Oprah even surpasses that, she strives to enrich the lives of everyone in the world! ROCK N ROLL.

In my profession, the greatest joy I get is when someones spirits are lifted because of the results they have achieved thanks to my programs. The simplest thing like fitting back into the skinny jeans can actually shift someones life ... and if I can make that happen then I know I am successful.

So, Oprah's picture now resides on my bathroom mirror. When I get ready in the morning I am reminded of what it is I need to keep in the forefront of my actions- helping others simply to help. As I progress in my profession I shall try to follow her leadership and always be of service to those who need me.

And hey, if I can make the money she does, or more-so, when I make the money that she does, I have faith that I will put it to use in the same giving way she does. I have already started donating a percentage of my earnings to help others who need it more than I do.

Laugh if you want ... but be careful, because Mama O has my back, and you do not want to be on her bad side. Word.

Peace and Blessings, xxx, Jesse

Dina, my friend, has recently gotten hitched. There was a beautiful lesbian ceremony, and since I wasn't there I have to imagine acoustic Etheridge gently played as the guests sat at tasteful dinner tables with flannel table dressings, and Birkenstock as far as the eye can see. Just kidding -- that's just my fantasy of a lesbian wedding- maybe one day, maybe one awesomely special day I will get to plan a lesbian wedding. A boy has to have his dreams.

So I was training Dina and Amy the other day, and I made a comment and called them "girlfriends," they sorta smirked which indicated that they may have been uncomfortable at the title I just forced upon them ). Until gay marriage is legal everywhere we get to have "commitment ceremonies" (again, puke), and though it may suck, as of now it is simply our reality. But, in the gay community our "commitment ceremonies" are our weddings. So Amy and Dina are married.

They are no longer girlfriends, right? They are wives ... but it just sounds weird saying, "How's your wife?" And I don't think I could say "life partner" without giggling a little bit. So, here's my question: What do we call ourselves now-a-days? I'm getting to an age where settling down sounds nicer nicer each day. If I get married, do I have to call my man, husband? It just seems strange.

Here's what I propose. I think that we should work together to create a new name for someone we are settling down with, our (and here it comes again) "life partner". We obviously need something a little hip, without being too flamboyant or cheesy. A bit of class wouldn't hurt, but it can't seem like we take ourselves too seriously. There has to be a middle ground that can be reached- and it's up to YOU (the readers of this blog) to help me create the perfect word.

For now, I just call my guy, "baby" or "boo" or "Sugar lips" (not really) -- but I think I may have found myself a keeper ... and sooner or later I hope he makes an honest man out of me, but I sure hope he doesn't make a "domestic partner" out of me.

As for my lesbian friends ... for now I think they are just gonna have to choose who the husband is and who the lil' lady is ... that's just how it has to be ... of course I'm kidding. I just have to decide which indigo best represents either party and call them by their respectable name -- either Amy Rae or Emily... I LOVE THE INDIGO GIRLS!

xxx, Jesse

Looking back, I have to laugh because I don't think that many sixth graders in Renton, Washington actually knew what gay was- but many of my peers suspected that I was in fact gay- whatever it meant.

Her name was Kristi Jackson. We grew up in the same neighborhood and both ran in a very popular crowd- you see I was student council president and she had smoked a cigarette once, so this made for a very prominent duo. I am not sure how or why it happened, but all I remember is going to town with Kristi Jackson in front of a group of our peers.

And so, in honor of him, I will do just that.

Doug was, in one word, "wonderful". Though I will miss seeing his face, I know he is right here with me, with all of us- and that gives me an incredible sense of comfort. Doug- you are very loved, and very missed, and it makes me very happy to know that wherever you are, you are at peace.

Love and Blessings to all! xxx, Jesse

With that out of the way, here are a few suggestions that may help make this year a bit more... bright?

1. Call your parents and grandparents and find out what their views on life are. I just had the greatest trip home for the holidays. I brought a camcorder with me and sat my grandparents down and ask them just that. "What's life all about ... and what advice do you have for future generations?"

Man, the wealth of knowledge that they have. The advice that stuck with me the most (and I admit it's because I am a hopeless romantic and just met a great guy) was about relationships. They have been married something crazy- like 56 years, and they admit, it ain't always pretty, and you often want to walk away, but if you base your relationships in love, and are willing to stick with it no matter what, then the results are historic. I love you Grandma and Grandpa!

I am also aware that once again, I have missed your birthday. Also Christmas. But I know that you'll be going on your break soon, and so I thought I'd send my belated, though still totally reasonable Christmas list.

Far be it from me to assume my name made your "good" list this year, though I have to confess I've really been tryin' to pull it together- but just in case I am on the list, here are a couple of reasonable requests that I thought I would just put "out" there, just to see what may happen.

1. Please send me a new car! Not that I don't love and appreciate my blazer, but after living in Hollywood without my own parking space for a couple years, the poor ol' girl has just been beat to the ground. She's hanging in there... but I would love to give her an early retirement, she's earned it.

I have never been a great reciever of gifts. I mean... what do I really need? I got my health, my dog, my car, my career, an awesome family, some great friends... it's a pretty full plate of fortune. My favorite gift today remains the big box of underwear, socks, and v-neck t-shirts (my signature shirt) that my mother sends me EVERY YEAR. It will never matter how much money I make or where I am in life -- one thing I can always depend on is new undies from Costco.

Oddly enough, most of my family will be gone. My Ma is going to visit her hometown, Charleston, South Carolina ... and Dad is going to Japan to spend the holiday with my stepmother's family. My little sister, Bethany, is finishing up cosmetology school and doesn't really get a break from classes. I mean, you know how beauty never sleeps ... and spending Christmas alone is no option so we decided the best thing to do, the ONLY thing to do is for me to stay in her closet sized studio located in the Farmer's Market and have THE GAYEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

You see, I came out when I was fifteen. My li'l sis was only twelve, but still, we were inseperable. She followed me everywhere. So basically, at a very young age Bethany learned everything she needed to know about the world from drag queens, lesbians, and homos. Now, it's rare that Bethany has a friend who isn't in some way, at least a little gay. She is no fag-hag ... No no no. She is a gay magnet. In high school, it seemed that every gay youth in the greater North West area found my sister to help guide them through the coming out process. She knew where to go hang out, where to go shop, and would always kick someone's ass if they even thought of calling you a fag. It doesn't hurt that she looks like an Olsen Twin with huge tits and a shapely behind. The gays tend to like pretty things, and my little sister is very pretty.

So this Christmas, instead of gathering around the fire to sing carols, we will make a stop at our grandparents house -- then head directly to the movie theatre to watch "Dream Girls" -- then straight, or more directly to Capital Hill to sing karaoke showtunes, and maybe one holiday standard at whatever gay bar it is that Bethany is most popular at right now.

Though it may not sound like your traditional family Christmas, we always make do. I can't imagine a better way to spend the holiday then proudly standing next to my sis on a make-shift stage singing duets from "Rent" and "Les Miz." Who knows? Perhaps it's a new tradition beginning to take shape.

So if you are in Seattle for this holiday, keep your eyes and ears open ... chances are you'll find me and Bethany bar hopping on this wonderfully joyous day.

Blessings to ALL!!!!! xxx, Jesse

So I have decided to move. It's my first up-grade since school ended. Naturally, since I am a glutton for punishment, I decided to plan the move during the first couple weeks of filming season 2 of WORKOUT. Not only do I get to maintain my businesses- take on additional work for the show, film, travel, and parent my dog... I now get to load up all of my possessions and move over the hill. Genius.

I am moving to Studio City. For those of you who are not familiar, Studio City is the land of soccer moms and cute unemployed actors. I got a great deal on a condo, so soccer moms or no- I took it.

The kitchen is really nice, which really is always the selling point to me -- I have Martha Stewart envy. The place is quaint and is perfect for dinner parties, which happen to be my favorite form of social gatherings.

I have learned- whether they will admit it or not -- food is indeed is a great way to a man's heart... which I think is actually located in his stomach. I know mine is. I LOVE TO EAT! I love to eat so much that I have actually come to terms with the fact that I will never have a six pack, and that's alright.

Allow me to let you in on a lil' secret kids.

1. Live in a gym, and have (so I have learned from MUCH experience) a very limited amount of topics for conversation.

2. Dedicate themselves to a life of chicken breasts, brown rice, and asparagus with a couple protein shakes thrown in for fun. (I would rather be shot in the foot.)

3. ARE ON STEROIDS. These are the folks who are incredibly vascular and claim to work out three to four days a week and maintain balanced diets. Sure ya do, Mary.

4. Are born lean and mean- example: underwear models. Bitches.

I come from a thick people. My sister and I are known for our shapely rear ends- a secret weapon in times of danger. We have never been skinny. We don't care to be either... curves can be sexy. I work out like a dog 6 days a week so I can eat what I want (in moderation) and not look like a house- a trade I am willing to make.

I feel sexy. I am not ripped to the nth degree, but I like my body. It took a long time to get to that point. Working in a gym can make one incredibly self conscious- but when you realize what sacrifices you have to make to look like Brad Pitt- something sort of molds itself into perspective.

Please don't get me wrong. I am in no way endorsing unhealthy eating! I run a healthy food delivery service for god's sake. I eat the food I prepare too- healthy food can be amazing! BUT- life without a martini is not a life I want to live. Can you imagine a world without cupcakes? Sorry- I shouldn't take you to dark places like that.

The key to life- in my very personal opinion is BALANCE-. If you want a cookie, eat it, chances are if you don't you will eat ten cookies at midnight in your undies -- and then you'll feel guilty. Don't be afraid of pasta- but don't be afraid of the treadmill either.

If you are willing to sweat your booty off in the gym- then darlin' you earned that cosmo.

I won't pretend to be the nazi trainer who will follow you home and clear out your fridge. I want everyone to experience the joy of food without worrying about the consequences. You just have to dedicate yourself to getting on the StairMaster.

That said -- I need some new holiday recipes -- got any? I will share one of mine soon, which is kinda a no-no for a chef. It's what I do. If I have -- I give.

Have you called your mother lately?
xxx, Jesse

It’s getting dark on this Halloween night.

Herds of trick-or-treaters are beginning to roam the streets in their elaborate get-ups. In West Hollywood, all the boys are squeezing into their costumes -- which mostly consist of booty shorts and body paint.

Here at the Brune Manor it’s a different story. Instead of wild parties or skimpy costumes, I always lock myself cozily in my home and do anything, ANYTHING but venture out into the streets.

I’m not sure when the fun of Halloween faded for me. I think as I got older the realization that fantasy had less to do with the holiday and getting drunk in a silly outfit and hoping to hook-up with Aqua Man became the main focus of this eventful night. SO- no tricks for me tonight. Instead Sammy (my dog) and I are going to cuddle up and watch some scary movies and avoid the madness that is West Hollywood.

My best friend’s family has literally developed into my second home. Jasmine’s parents have recently relocated to Santa Fe, New Mexico -- and this oasis in the desert has become my passionate getaway location. In the middle of the desert there is an amazing vibe that I can’t even explain- perhaps it’s generated from all the lesbian artists that inhabit the town.

All I know is when I return to the madness of Los Angeles I bring a certain peace with me. The older I get the more I realize how important little desert hideaways are.

I met Jasmine Jonas when I was thirteen. She was much older than me -- a prominent fifteen. She was then, and remains to be to this day the most amazing girl I have ever met. Not only is she gorgeous, she’s hilarious, talented, and has a great rack! She was, until I came out of the closet, the woman I was going to marry. I was… her annoying little brother… but she always had my back.

She was a city girl the day she came out of the womb.

Jasmine’s mother, is one of the original “fag-hags”- coming to maturity in San Francisco in the sixties and seventies. The majority of her friends were gay; she survived disco and the beginning of the AIDS epidemic and naturally decided to raise a very open-minded daughter. Thusly, Jasmine got her liberal grounding in life- a FABULOUS grounding.

When I came out to Jasmine it was like I told her that we were out of milk or something. It was such a big deal to me. I was fifteen and scared that no one would understand.

“Jasmine, I have something to tell you…”
“What?”
“I’m gay…”
“Oh honey I know. I knew before you did… so where are we going tonight?”

With everything that we have been through with each other, we can safely say that Will and Grace don’t have sh*t on us!

A couple months ago we found out that Jasmine had cancer. Thyroid cancer. It was such an unexpected punch in the stomach. Cancer, I mean come on! Jasmine isn’t the type of girl to get cancer. She’s a Vegas showgirl for God’s sake! But as the world often does- it threw us a curve ball. The strongest person through this whole ordeal was, naturally, Jasmine.

It’s funny when you try to be a rock for someone- but you just get so scared and paranoid that they somehow turn the table and begin to support you. Jasmine is a Goddess, and I have come to learn that Goddesses don’t let the minor details get them down- so cancer was not going to be a big deal… and it wasn’t.

Luckily it was caught very early and surgery was all that was needed. In and out- no Chemo or radiation. Two weeks later Jazzy was back on the stage tearing it up on the Vegas Strip.

I’m not sharing this story so you can feel sorry for Jasmine or me or her mother… I think that it’s the appropriate time of year to refocus on those little important things- LIKE YOUR LOVED ONES. I’m not going to get preachy and say something like, “Make everyday a holiday…” but I will say that it’s easier to just call a bitch and say you love her than to have explain yourself when some bad stuff pops up… right? Ya dig?

Anyhoo- my next blog is going to be funny and fabulous… though if you ever have the fortune to meet Jasmine, chances are you will get just how fabulous this entry is.

Many Many early holiday blessings to all! xxx, Jesse

So it’s about 9 am and I am done with the first part of my day. My clients have been fed and trained, and now it’s ME time.

I love the mornings, especially early mornings. Los Angeles is not quite buzzing yet, it’s pretty quiet, and you can actually get away with wearing layers.

There are never any lines at Starbucks, so you can get in, do your thang and be on your way. I hate waiting in lines -- so I am usually always early for events or, more importantly, coffee shops.

It’s been a crazy week so far. Bravo informed us that there will be a second season of Work Out and that we will start filming within a couple weeks -- needless to say my producer encouraged us to up our cardio and start our diets -- S#&%. I really try not to be one of those “Do as I say, not as I do” types, but I LOVE TO EAT!

I mean come on, I’m a frickin' chef!

However, I understand the importance of being thin on film, so the sweets have disappeared from my cupboards and the only drink I order when I go out is light beer .... That "thin on film" comment was a joke, by the way.

I am meeting my favorite client Ellen for a Pilates class, then a boot camp class in a few. Ellen K. is the Godmother, the dominatrix, the first lady -- no, first bitch of morning talk. She’s the hot mama of the airwaves. I could go on. She co-hosts the morning show with Ryan Seacrest, and before Ryan she was co-pilot to Rick Deez.

Ever wondered what happened to Barbie when she grew up? She became Ellen K. Dreamhouse included. Ellen is an inspiration to many people at the gym. When she walks in she looks like, well ... Barbie. But when she gets to work she freaks people out.

Lifting more than most dudes, she is also packed with the stamina of a pro boxer. She kicks higher, runs faster, and sweats more than anyone in the known universe -- that’s an actual fact.

Besides being the MILF of the century, Ellen is one of the most kind-hearted people I know. She was the first person to encourage me to become a personal trainer. She has brought me so many clients that she practically pays my rent and she was one of my first foodies.

She hosted parties just to showcase my cooking. She saved every clipping from any article posted about Work Out. She is just amazing.

The kicker though (this is going to make me sound SO gay) is that Ellen introduced me to Mariah Carey. I don’t care what anyone has to say about Mimi -- she is my momma! I love her. She was the first poster on my wall and I still listen to her almost every day. So to meet Ms. Carey was the biggest thing that happened to me to date.

Even better, when I met her, she flirted with me. I thought I was going to wet myself, but I didn’t. (Because I am a grown-up.)

I think it’s important to throw props out when it’s
deserved. So Ellen, if you are reading this -- which I am sure you are -- I just want to say, “I love you more than tits and that’s a lot!”

In other news, the guy I was dating and I just broke up. Back in the saddle again. Oh well, who cares, I’m just gonna focus on my career. Yeah, focus on my career. Why do we always say that? Whenever a relationship ends, it’s back to the career. Let's chew on that one this week.

Much love to all. Xxx, Jesse

I am armed and dangerous with my creative writing tools. These consist of an iced americano, chocolate cupcake, and my life partner, Sam. By life partner I mean dog (it’s platonic).

Seeing how this is my first blog, I think we should get to know each other, and I’ll go first. For those of you who haven’t read Bravo’s promotional bio about me here’s a quick outline.

I am originally from Seattle, WA, home of two of America’s favorite sweethearts: Courtney Love and the chai soy latte. I have a close-knit family which I will speak of often I am sure ... and I love jacket weather. At an early age I discovered I enjoyed being the center of attention -- so after a successful run in almost every community theatre in the greater Northwest region, I decided to move to Hollywood.

I quickly discovered that without the help of my high school drama teacher (who KNOWS talent when she sees it!) it was difficult to get cast in any leading roles that did not in some capacity require a fluffer. So I had some decisions to make.

Culinary school was always a secret fantasy of mine; I always thought chefs were sexy. I had a vision in my mind of working in a fancy restaurant and preparing amazing courses and having a really cute boyfriend. Ok, so every fantasy of mine includes having a cute boyfriend, but just hang in there with me.

I have been cooking my entire life -- my mother taught me the basics growing up and I used it throughout the years. I always had dinner parties and social gatherings, trying to create a family atmosphere wherever I went. The only downfall was that whomever I was dating always gained a substantial amount of weight!

So I enrolled in culinary school, Le Cordon Bleu, right here in SoCal. It took me a week to realize that the sexy fantasy had disappeared and the harsh reality of a really tough profession had kicked in. I still loved it, but realized that I cannot have a mean chef yelling at me all the time. I knew that whatever I was going to do with food, I was going to have to be in control.

The entire time I was in school I was a fitness instructor at a boot camp style workout studio in Hollywood -- this was the only way I managed not to gain about 2,000 lbs (a ton). I loved training and I began to develop a reputation for being a very challenging but very fun trainer.

My reputation spread and it eventually got the attention of the producers of “WorkOut.” I got a call asking me to come in and interview with this chick Jackie Warner who owned a gym in Beverly Hills -- I thought, “Hell, why not live on the edge?" And I made a trip out to see her. I got offered the job and the role on the show. I was hesitant at first, but I accepted.

I had just spent $50,000 to go to culinary school, I wanted to put the degree to use, and Jackie helped me do just that. She featured me as a chef on the show, and it all went crazy from there. I now own my very own li'l healthy food delivery service and love it, love it, love it. My day consists of training, working out; grocery shopping, dog walking, cooking, and occasionally I get to see my new beau.

I work hard. I also like to play hard. If I am not catering a dinner party for Hollywood’s most fabulous or training some of Beverly Hills most elite, I’m … well, napping.

I always seem to run into some fun … so keep reading this stuff and together we’ll see what pops up.

Many, many blessings till then. Xxx, Jesse