Jerell’s going to be constructing “pure magic” with his 8,000. Magic must have a lot to do with shiny things. That makes sense.

Tim goes to Arkansas to see Korto and her collection. She describes it as ethnic but not too ethnic and inspired by the woods of Little Rock.

Korto’s daughter is adorable. Seriously, cute as hell.

Portland! Catpower! They’re even playing indie rock. Her boyfriend is exactly as we pictured.

Her wedding dress is beautiful. (Amazingly, she changes it and it’s still beautiful.)

She takes Tim on a bicycle built for two! This is so awesome.

Jerell’s in LA. Tim tells him to edit down a little bit. Jerell doesn’t want to.

Little Jerell is too cute. His love interest is nerdy and cute. Aww.

Kenley’s place. We argue about whether she’s in Williamsburg or Red Hook. What do you guys think? We thought that street sign said Bergen, which I argued is not technically in either. Bed Stuy, Cobble Hill, Carroll Gardens, Park Slope and Crown Heights. But that house looks very Williamsburg.

She has ropes around the neck of one of the dresses and Tim is worried about the allusion to hangings. But he loves her wedding dress. It is nice.

She’s crying a lot. And doesn’t introduce Tim to any friends or family. That’s sad. She didn’t even have a couple of minor friends who wanted to be on TV?

They stick Jerell in the room with Kenley. She comes in and it’s awkward and she sort of apologizes. And it kind of helps. They all toast.

One more challenge! Jesus Christ!

They have to design a bridesmaid dress to go with their wedding dress. They all want to barf when they find out. No one’s happy. Oh jeeze and then they only have till midnight.

“We all know Old Kenley is still under there.” – Korto on Kenley.
“There’s nothing wrong with your bridesmaid being cute ladies.” – Korto again.

Jerell’s is sloppy. Tim tells him not to fight with Mother Nature.

Catpower’s bridesmaid is beautiful. Tim just says shorter.

Korto’s bridesmaid in competition with her wedding dress.

Tim gets a little emotional. That is sweet.

Kenley gets mad because Catpower and Korto shortened their bridesmaid dresses. You’re right, Korto, old Kenley is still there.

Korto even loves Kenley. Now that’s something.

On To The Runway:

Korto – It’s not simple actually at all, despite her description. In fact we’d say it’s a little much. The bridesmaid is nice and simple but not very weddingy. The judges say there are too many elements on the wedding dress and not enough on the bridesmaid. She slips into the finals and we're glad about it.

Jerell – We actually kinda like Jerell’s wedding dress, though it is still sloppy. But his bridesmaid is a bit of a mess. The judges like everything South of the boobs on the wedding. They call both his dresses messy, not thoughtful enough. And for this, he is booted.

Catpower – Catpower’s wedding dress is hot as hell. The bridesmaid is also beautiful and totally appropriate. She rocked it! Judges say it’s so chic, beautifully crafted, modern, dreamy and totally her style. Wow. We’re so proud of her.

Kenley - Kenley’s wedding dress is nice indeed. Her bridesmaid’s is a little boring. The judges say her wedding dress is a little Alexander McQueen, but done beautifully. They love the bridesmaid. Heidi calls it crazy good and Kenley prevails into the finals.

It’s sad to see Jerell go, but at least he leaves us with a little bit of comedy, “From me you’re gonna get heavily adorned, opulent bits. If you want a basic white tee, you can get that from Michael Kors.”

Next week: Bryant Park! We can’t freakin’ wait.

Back to the competition at hand. The results are in and it's just like last year!! Sort of!! Except they all four have to compete for the final three after they create their collections, instead of just the two that barely made it. Why the distinction we wonder? What’s different about Rami and Chris as compared to Kenley and Korto? Anyhow, let’s rewind to the beginning of the episode.

Leanne calls Kenley rude and disrespectful. That’s the understatement of the century. Kenley’s not talking to Leanne because of how she didn’t sell her outfit during the last challenge. Argh, she’s so infuriating.

Jerell has his little apple and syrup dolls for former contestants. Awww. He’s so lonely.

Korto’s going to win it for her mama.

Kenley’s stoked because she’s into bright colors already! Just like flowers!

“Such a thin line between luxury and low class.” – Jerell says at Mood, while picking out fabric. That it is, Jerell, our friend, that it is.

Kenley left some of her fabric at Mood, and somebody could have helped her but because she’s such an obnoxious pain in the rear, no one does. Even when she asks for extra tule, everyone’s just straight up like “no.” Harsh. But totally understandable. You reap what you sow Kenley.

Korto says when you have an ugly personality, it makes everything you make ugly. True that. Except probably not in reality. There’s gotta be some really famous fashion designers with horrid personalities. Come on.

Jerell doesn’t like Korto’s scaley tube dress.

Kenley’s all by herself on the other side of the room and whines about some childhood trauma about being left out. But please! No one left her out until she was rude and crappy to everyone.

Tim’s concerned about Korto’s lace. She decides to change it.

Tim calls Kenley’s dress fish scales… and she thinks it’s a compliment.

Tim calls Leanne’s dress “Hello Dolly.” She says she knows how to fix it. I hope so!

Catpower cries. Jerell cries. Korto is reading the bible. And crying. We’re floating in a sea of salty anxiety.

Kenley doesn’t like anything anybody else does ever. How humble of her.

Oh no, Catpower is really behind. Crap crap crap.

The Runway:

Korto – self admitted janky bead work, we liked the front, but it’s true we didn’t love the color. The judges thought it was made beautifully, the shape was flattering on her, not sophisticated enough, and too pageant-like. Eeek.

Catpower – not her best work in our eyes. We liked the idea but then the execution of the ruffled front part didn’t look so great to us and the colors were muted, it’s true. The judges liked it though. Except for the blue in the back that was just hanging down. But later they did admit being underwhelmed.

Jerell – nice looking, a little weird in back, but cool in the front. The judges say it’s the most beautiful of all of them, but it’s off and has some technical problems. He wins, not that it means anything at this point.

Kenley – interesting silhouette but too literal and the scaliness is weird. The judges say it doesn’t feel organic. Nina say it looks like a reptile, but not in a cool way. Then Kenley starts her usual crap:

“I wasn’t going for elegant, Heidi!” The judges give her a dressing down for being too arrogant and cocky and having a bad attitude and she rolls her eyes in response.

They all get asked why they should go to Bryant Park and who should go with them.

Jerell tells Kenley to shut up until it’s her turn to talk. They all pick Kenley to go home and for the three of them to go to Bryant Park.

Kenley apologizes because she’s “fought her way through life” so that’s how she is. She picks Catpower and Jerell. Korto calls her out on it later.

Overall, Kors says it was not their best moment. Construction problems all over the place. But nevertheless we will get to see collections from all four of them.

No one was surprised to see Joe go. Including us.

Their challenge is designing for each other and they must each create a look inspired by a specific musical genre.

They get paired up as follows:

Suede for Jerell (rock n roll), Kenley for Catpower (hip hop), Korto for Suede (punk), Jerell for Kenley (pop), Catpower for Korto (country)

This is going to be crazy and hard, but fun.

Why is Kenley getting floral prints at Mood? Also, Kenley that is not hip hop. Oh wait, then all the other designers say the exact same thing, except they’re not going to tell her. Fiendish!

Suede is a classically trained cellist? The things we didn’t know

Korto loves her cowboy boots. Someone needs to take her two-steppin’.

Also, although we hate to admit it because she’s been such a pill lately, Kenley looks foxy in her fishnet outfit. Hubba hubba.

Tim comes in to check on everyone. Catpower and Korto and Suede are being too conservative. He’s worried that Jerell will veer towards a little too much. He gently questions Kenley about her highwaisted jeans and she’s totally nasty to him. “What does Tim know about hip hop anyway?” Granted Kenley, but what do you know about hip hop.

Classic Project Runway moment: Catpower – “You’re grabbing my crotch Kenley.”

They’re all telling Kenley – “Yep, that’s hip hop, uh huh.”

They all look so weird in their outfits and their hair dos.

LL Cool J! Ladies do love cool James.

On to the freakshow runway:

Suede for Jerell (rock n roll) – it’s sexy as hell but pretty subtle for rock n roll it’s true. But nice looking, hot even. Judges said needed more umph. Seriously we can’t believe he got kicked off for making Jerell look uber-sexy.

Kenley for Catpower (hip hop) – Kenley calls her Catpower a poseur. That is rude! It’s not her fault she doesn’t know how to walk hip hop. And it’s also not her fault your outfit sucks, Kenley. Judges – not hip hop, pants horrible. How did she escape the aufing this time?

Korto for Suede (punk) – Suede’s punk walk was frightening. We didn’t love this outfit. The bleaching on the jeans was nasty. The judges liked it and Korto accordingly won.

Jerell for Kenley (pop) – Kenley looks hot as a slutty pop star. The dress is okay in our opinion. The judges loved it. Sexy but not vulgar, says Michael Kors. OMG, is LL Cool J flirting with Kenley?

Catpower for Korto (country) – Korto’s walk was awesome! Also it was a cute outfit. Nice silhouette, but didn’t wow the judges. But we’re sorry Michael Kors – it was not like “a woman going out to eat ribs.” This would have been our pick for the win.

Suede quotes Madonna as he leaves. How apropos.

So the special ladies and they're college graduate daughters show up and the designers are relieved that they don't have to design old lady dresses.

Korto's a "hip mom", so she thinks she'll do okay. We bet you are and we know you do.

Catpower gets stuck with a schoolteacher and her overbearing mother. Ugh. At one point the woman tells her, "If we tried this on in a department store, we'd look for something better."

Korto's does a Stella homage at Mood when buying "leather."

Joe's making a power suit. For a graphic designer. With pin stripes. And a pocket square.

We like the whole "what was your first job" interview that's going on throughout this episode. Jerell worked at McDonalds! Some of us did too!

Kenley and Jerell make fun of joe. Kenley calls Suede a "poser". Kenley's not impressed with anyone's design. Kenley know's she's going to be in the top three.

Why is Jerell wearing that oversized Roman wreath on his head?

On to the Runway:

Suede did poorly. His girl is hot, but his outfit is not. The judges don't like the way the jacket and the dress go together. Nina Garcia has to cut herself off from being too mean. You always know it's bad when she will "say no more." He's in the bottom two, but ultimately safe.

Kenley's was actually cute and well done, despite how much we wanted to hate it because of her mouth. Heidi calls it "mini me" which is funny.

Catpower's dress was nice but the jacket was ugh. The judges thought it was too old looking. She was safe though. Phew.

Jerell wins it was his "androgynous" outfit for cute Caitlin. It was a cute outfit and she was adorable. But it was not androgynous. We're sorry. It was super femmey. Also she looked uncomfortable. For us, this is the main reason we wouldn't have picked Jerell as the winner.

Joe, deservingly, gets sent home. His power suit was ugly and fit bad and poorly conceptualized. The judges called it a cliche and fit for a "Working Girl party." Ouch. The thing is, he could have done something cool with the idea if he had used, say, some interesting houndstooth print and played with the design a bit.

Korto's was by far our fave. The judges thought it was really young and hip and well made. We loved that jacket and so did they. She was robbed!

Next week: Ladies Love Cool James!

“Will I miss Stella? No.” – Terri right at the beginning of the episode. Geeze.

The previously eliminated designers show up. Those left will be working with them as teams of two to create an avante garde look inspired by astrological sign of one member of the team.

Terri hates Keith. And she’s being a biyatch. We used to like her. So that blows.

We’re glad Jerry’s back. We really liked him and we barely got to hang with him.

But at this point, in our eyes, she can do no wrong. We love Catpower. Look how silly she is here.

Blayne isn’t actually speaking English when he tells Tim about their concept.

Wesley and Tim Gunn are both worried about Kenley’s outfit. We're not so much worried as we want Kenley to shut it and listen for a second. Her ego's getting a bit out of control.

Seriously, we don’t like Keith either, but Terri’s being mean as heck. We wouldn't help her either. Instead of walking off, we'd probably just wait till the last minute and not be finished or something crappy like that.

The designers get thrown a few revelations at once: two designers will be eliminated this week. There will be no more immunity from now on. They are going to a planetarium party.

Here is Tim looking spooky at the planetarium.

Stella and Blayne are a hilarious and sweet team.

Some designers from past seasons show up at the planetarium to help judge. Hi Jay, hi Daniel!

Terri’s getting rid of her collar via Christian’s suggestion. Kenley fixed the boob problem for Heidi.

Keith is asleep when they’re heading to the runway. Okay that does look bad, but we totes understand.

And now for the runway:

Catpower (Libra) with help from Emily (Scorpio) made what we thought was a really cool and by far the most avante garde outfit.

Joe (Aries) plus Daniel (Sagittarius) did what we thought was a beautiful and amazing looking dress. We were surprised and impressed with hetero Joe. Basically this and Catpower's were our faves. But they were both just safe.

Korto (Aquarius) and Kelli (Cancer- of course!) created a sort of typical and somewhat mediocre blue dress. Korto was safe

Terri (Sagittarius) and Keith (Leo) were like oil and water. We weren't into the outfit, but we were even less into Terri's uber-jerkface attitude. The judges hated it so much that she went home.

Blayne (Libra) and Stella Barbarella (Scorpio) created a look that was granny underwear, covered with 14 dildo harnesses and pooping neon fabric. Enough said. Bye bye Blaynelicious.

Jerell (Sagittarius) aided by Jennifer (Taurus) made an outfit that we thought was pretty cool, but that the special guest judges Loved. Good for Jerell.

Kenley (Aquarius) with Wesley (Scorpio) made a Minnie mouse, Snow White, unimpressive dress. And Kenley just would not listen to anyone. Lucky for her, there was worse.

Suede (Sagittarius) along with Jerry (Libra) made a sort of ugly pantsuit that was not avante garde at all. Also it seemed like the judges just noticed Suede's habit of talking about himself in the third person. Suede just makes the cut.

Jerell and Catpower cry...but for which eliminated designer?

Stella doesn’t know how to make coffee… in a bikini.

Blayne hopes the fashion legend is Mary Kate… we're pretty sure she's only legendary as a baby twin.

Diane walks down a long staircase to greet the designers. Kenley cries and cries.

The challenge is to design a look for Furstenberg's fall collection based on Marlene Dietrich's character in A Foreign Affair. That is awesome.

Everyone’s talking shit about Terri. No one trusts her and they think she does the same thing every time. We're not sure about this. We like Terri.

Immediately when we see Joe's top, we know this is poop.

Catpower acts like a spy. She is so weird. And awkward. That makes us like her more and more.

Stella thinks Paris and Berlin are the same. Seriously this show will be much more boring without her.

Jerell looks totally hot in his underwear!

Naked models!

And on to the Runway:

Joe's looks better than we thought it was going to, but the back still looks bad. The judges agree and he only escapes by the hair on his chinny chin chin.

We weren't super into Terri's outfit as a whole, we thought Blayne's silhouette was bad and Jerell's looked all stewardessy, but they were all safe! Apparently we're back to being out of sync with the judging.

Catpower's, however we did like. We thought the dress was gorgeous as did the judges. We weren't quite as impressed with the coat. It could have been even smaller maybe. Anyhow, we thought she deserved the win. That's two in a row!

Outzone thought Suede's was lame. Outzone hope Suede goes home soon so we don't have to listen to him say cutesy word and talk in the third person anymore.

It's true that Stella's wasn't great. That cape was bad. We kind of liked the vest. But the judges really hated it. We suppose it was only a matter of time for our little Stella. But who will provide our rock n roll, Long Island, deadpan, comic relief?

Kenley's dress went over well with all the judges except Heidi. Kenley can't keep quite for one second. It might have been a tad easy.

The judges liked Kortos and we did too.

Next week: uh oh, looks like it’s time for team work. You know what that means. Bloodshed.

Kenley’s sad that Daniel’s gone. But we’re not. Keith doesn’t know how to handle being in the bottom two.

Models coming and going. Whoop de doo. Then all the designers are walking down the street Reservoir Dogs style and did you see Suede’s outfit? He reminds us of a weirdo, Goth teenager.

“I’m from motor city, this is right up my alley.” – Joe

“I grabbed a headlight, maybe I’ll work it into a broach.” – Jerell

“I have so many wackadoodle things, I don’t know what I’m going to do with all this stuff.” – Suede

Catpower, sneakily, says she doesn’t have a clue, but she came up with the most awesome dress ever. But we’ll get to that.

“It’s very experimental right now.” – Blayne says of the smashing, hammering and general free-for-all of the design room.

Stella’s confused. But then she decides not to do something leather, but something pretty. But somehow it’s also going to be Planet of the Apes?

Kenley’s drawing a zebra print on air vents. Eh…

Keith for some reason thinks innovation means being more conservative? This is, of course, his downfall. Trying to pander to the judges whimsy is never a good idea. But especially when you misinterpret it. No one told him to tone it down.

Terri calls Korto’s dress “Jeepers Creeper” and then falls on the floor laughing. Did anyone even see that really bad horror movie? Okay, we did. It was bad, trust us.
Jerell reacts to Terri thusly, “She’s got two faces and four patterns. Don’t trust the bitch.” Uh oh. We didn’t know that about Terri.

Keith’s attitude is irritating, Blayne, you’re right. When he says, “I just think I deserve it more than other people,” we vomited in our mouths a little bit. Then he tells his model not to breathe or sit down (for hair and makeup?!) and acts like that is reasonable.

On to the Runway:

Jerell’s was futuristic and hot. The judges liked it and we liked it and he was in the top three.

Terri’s was hardcore with nice pants and she was just safe.

Korto’s crazy coat turned our pretty amazing and the judges thought it sheik so she also made the top three.

We did not like Suede’s glam, cheerleader outfit.

Catpower was really frickin’ amazing, gorgeous and hot. The judges agreed. The silhouette was a risk that really worked out. We’re glad she won. She deserved it. Go Catpower!

Keith’s was boring and no concept and poorly constructed. We were again at peace with the judges on this. And nothing’s a bigger turn off than someone who doesn’t take responsibility for their work. He blames the models and the comments from last week. Whatever whiner. See you never.

Blayne was in the bottom three for good reason. His sketches looked cool but then his implementation was poor. The top was fitted so horribly and the bottom was, as Michael Kors put it, very carwash.

Kenley and her zebra print air filters were safe.

Stella was in the bottom three for having two random pieces that didn’t really go together. But we were proud of her for trying something different and (from a distance at least) that skirt was pretty cute.

Joe and his motorcross dress were safe.

Heidi makes this amazing comment that if you break a mirror, it means 7 years without sex! And we thought it was just bad luck!

Keith blubbers and cries at the end, but we still can’t scrape up a shred of sympathy for him.

Next week: Von Furstenberg! More crying!

The episode opened with a great shot of Stella in the morning. Seriously, we are so charmed by her for some odd reason.

Throughout the episode we get some dissing on Keith and his “swatches.”

Chris March shows up with “disco balls on his tits” and fills them in on the challenge.
As the queens file out in full color, Stella deadpans, “This is a real tough one.” The queens are all pretty fabulous, except we just have one question for Acid Betty– what’s a hybrid drag queen?

They get paired up and set to work and we get some mugging, plotting and bitching.

“I like slick and that’s what I’m going to bring to this,” says Stella.

“If I were a drag queen, my name would be neonlicious,” says Blayne.

If Catpower hears Blayne say licious again, she’s going to barf. She better start carrying a little bag for that.

Suede has a crazy ghost dream, where his dead grandfather instructs him on his drag outfit. Intense!

The drag queens come back, in their street clothes and everyone is shocked and appalled. Also, for the life of us, we cannot tell who is who now.

Tim and Chris make the rounds to give inspiration, encouragement, warnings and advice on how to deal with sassy drag queens.

“This looks like a pterodactyl out of a gay Jurrasic Park.” – Tim on Blayne’s outfit. We couldn’t agree
more.

On to the Runway:

Wait, first of all RuPaul is a judge. We love RuPaul. Love!

Daniel has Annida Greenkard and refuses to step outside of his box and do something dramatic. Aside from the color. We had some infighting about his elimination – half of us with the judges on this (if maybe only because of his nasally righteous attitude) and half thinking the dress was at least pretty and drag needn’t be so over the top. Care to settle the score, dear readers?

Terri has Acid Betty and we all thought the outfit was crazy and rad and over the top amazing. The judges called it a combination of Mahogany and Kiss (we had to look up Mahogany, it’s a 1975 film with Diana Ross as a fashion designer).

Keith has Sherry Vine and we were pretty much just as unimpressed as the judges. But we were impressed when RuPaul asked him, “Did a dingo eat your baby?” Ha, ha.

Blayne has Miss Understood, and well, Tim said it all earlier. Except that the damn thing was falling apart, even. For whatever reason he was safe.

Suede has Hedda Lettuce and she looked better than we had thought she would, but still eh.

Catpower has Sharon Needles and we really liked what she did. We were scared when she said she was going to do something “Jetsons”, but we thought it turned out cool.

Kenley’s Farrah Moans looked hot and awesome.

Stella’s Luisa Verde was pretty good. But Luisa’s comment about herself was priceless, “I look like Liz just outta rehab.”

Korto’s Sweetie was sweet indeed with that fun, dramatic, fire dress. The judges liked it too.

One place we didn’t agree with the judges was on Jerell and his LeMay outfit. We liked his dress and especially his compromise with the collar that flipped out. How cool was that?! But they were bored. Ack. Poor Jerell.

And then there was Joe. And we gotta say, we did like his pink sailor girl outfit for Varla Jean. And even more, we love Varla Jean. We are entirely enamored of her. But like we said at the beginning, it’s a bit of a pity, the straightest guy winning the drag challenge.

Nothing against Hillary though. But Brooke Shields is a whole nother story.

It’s harsh for Nina to just all out accuse people of not having any taste. Can’t we just say we all have different taste? Ah well, we thought Kelli’s animal print fascination was a little lame anyways.

And for some reason we’ve developed a tiny soft spot for Blayne, even though his outfit was very Target. And we do like Catpower, even though we call her Catpower.

Stella wants to design for Sharon Osborne – queen of rock. “She’s a business woman.”

But lo and behold it’s Brooke Shields! The look is for her character Wendy Healy on Lipstick Jungle. Their outfit will be worn on the second season, but does anyone watch that show??

The twist is thrown: teams of two. They have to sketch and pitch to Brooke and she gets to pick six.

Kelli automatically thought a good leopard print? Well we know where that got her.

Daniel thinks he’s extremely talented because he comes from a middle eastern background. Hmmm.

Keith tells Brooke what great legs she has. Why does he seem like such a straight gay?

Stella looks really surprised when she says “she still has to go to work.”

Someone comments that Jerell is dressed like my little pony. And we like that.

Brooke’s picks and their partners:

Keith - Kenley
Korto - Joe
Jerell - Stella
Kelli - Daniel
Terri - Suede
Blayne – Catpower

“As long as I can get her to shut her mouth,” – Keith on Kenley. Well, he’s probably right.

Jerell’s stoked he got Stella (picked last) because he actually has leather in his outfit.

Kelli was a latchkey kid. Uh oh. When they start going on about their childhood it’s always a bad sign.

“I aint got no babies. Nobody’s sucking on my titties. Man up.” Terri on Suede.
“Suede’s fucking uncomfortable.” Suede on Suede

Stella and that mallet. Bang bang bang.

Daniel fucked up Kelli’s skirt.

Uh oh. Terri’s mad at Suede. But Tim Gunn makes it all better.

Korto’s sack is yuck shmuck. “It looks like a big sweet potato.” – Tim
Love Korto’s crossing the street analogy, “There’s a bus coming Joe!”

Hi Heidi. Time for the runway:

Keith and Kenley win. We weren’t so into it, but it was a pretty interesting transition from day to night. The judges thought it was just beautiful and that they collaborated well.

Jerell and Stella were the runner’s up. It seemed super appropriate for that type of character, in our opinion. Michael and Heidi liked it but Brooke worried about the belt. We sort of think Jerell is always getting passed over for good work. Well, except last time. That blew.

Korto and Joe and Terri and Suede are safe. Sort of miraculously.

As for Blayne and Catpower, they eeked by. It’s true, it was too casual and not totally appropriate. But we actually sort of liked it. And we liked that Blayne took responsibility for the outfit.

Kelli ultimately was out. But were we the only ones who are sick of Daniel and his holier-than-thou attitude? “My taste is impeccable.” Ick. Or maybe just hilarious as Kenley seems to think.

Next week: Chris March and drag queens! Are you as excited as we are?

Daniel for one, never played any sports, and seems confused. Catpower (unsurprisingly) was a cheerleader. (–Speaking of Catpower, we’ve recently found out that, though we came up with this nickname independently, others had the same idea. Also, one of our friends calls her Joanna Newsom.)

Stella did modern dance – but no Stella, that’s not a sport, per say. Joe played football and both his daughters play softball (uh oh, we know what that means) and he’s going to make a skort. Keith was a competitive gymnast! No wonder he’s so humorless!

Okay now for the Stella quotes of the episode:

“I’m a real caveman, I like leather and I like fur.”
“Black is cool.”
“There’s a lot of bikers in this country that watch the Olympics.”
We just can’t be irritated with her. She’s too much.

Kenley, apparently, giggles too much. This annoys Korto, Joe and Jerell.

The first of the two horrible moments, this episode, involved Blayne and Tim Gunn.
Tim – “It’s looking a little Sgt. Pepper to me.”
Blayne – “I don’t know what that is.”
Us – “!!!!”
Then Blayne says something about Across the Universe. Ugh. This is just sad.

We’re pretty worried about Jerell’s outfit. So far, we’ve liked what he’s done, though he’s remained in the middle of each judging round. But this one is no so good.

Joe and Daniel get into a tiff about a sewing machine and we were totally on Joe’s side until he had to go and say, “There’s too much drama, ‘cause there’s too many queens around.” That, indeed was the second horrible moment of the episode. Not that we don’t understand that it might be weird for Joe to be the only straight dude for miles in any direction, but really, what a way to look like a total douche.

Suede just thinks it’s all totally “wackadoodle.” Hmmm.

On to the judging and the outfits:

Suede was safe, but in our opinion that looked like a cheerleader outfit.

Terri’s was cute and the judged loved it. Props to our girl Terri, we’ve been loving all of her outfits so far.

Daniel – yuck, no relevance, purple? Michael Kors had a few choice words about it, “If your sport is drinking, it was a good dress.”

Blayne’s looked like 80’s, boring crap to us. But again he was safe.

Catpower’s we thought was cool looking. She was also safe.

Korto’s pantsuit was chic and sophisticated. We liked it too.

Jerell’s did turn out much too weird. Nina called it “mary had a little lamb.” It was very costumey.

Joe’s was, predictably, the most literal. They liked it.

Stella’s actually turned out a lot better than we thought. We think that about her stuff most challenges.

Jennifer’s was, again, not modern enough. Also apparently it was too girly for Olympians.

And Jennifer totally got the boot, which we’re kind of sad about, but it probably made the most sense.

Korto won it. We might have given it to Terri, but Korto’s was awesome too.

Tim supposed to take them somewhere and for some reason they are all excited and think they’re going out clubbing and drinking. Wrong. Blayne isn’t happy about the pancho, “I wanna get all dolled up and go dancing.”

Instead they get driven around in the rain in an open air tour bus and dropped off at the very worst places in New York: Columbus Circle, Times Square, and we can’t remember the others. Blayne: “Are there any tanning salons down here?” Probably.

But then after the torturous part, the challenge is actually pretty cool. Take pictures of New York at night to use as inspiration for an outfit. Sweet. And sort of too easy. The whole episode we were waiting for the twist. $100. A day. Seriously, they should have all made freakin’ amazing stuff.

Back at the apartments, Jerell’s in a mask and Blayne’s in cure little red shorts. Fun gay boy slumber party! So wait, who’s straight this season? Joe and all the girls? Maybe not all the girls…

Keith starts talking about volume. And we think he means depth. But it just sounds silly, Keith. You’re way too serious.

Kenley’s like, “Blayne why are you looking at me like that?” And Blayne’s like, “I’m gonna eat you.” This is weird. And creepy.

Stellas says she’s gonna die being rock n roll. Blayne’s annoyed at her hammering. Really Blayne? You’re not allowed to be annoyed at anyone else. It’s one of your redeeming qualities.

Did every see that Jack Mackenroth Saturn commercial? Or did you fast forward past it, like we almost did? He made an outfit inspired by a car. Ummm. Whatevs.

Jennifer’s is maybe matronly. Yeah, but we like her squareness.

Emily – yo – when Tim Gunn says your dress is disappointing – maybe you should listen.

Blayne teaches Tim to say, “Holla at yer boy.” Tim doesn’t speak that language, Blayne.

Keith you need to lose that bandana, and that curly thing on the back of your head. And also he seems so unfun to us.

But we decided we love Stella. Some quotes heard round the room, “She’s so Lower East Side.” “Typical aging punk rocker.” But these were all said with admiration and awe.

Sandra Bernhardt is the guest judge and she gets in a zinger right away about how Kenley dress could only hide something on one side, like a goiter. Speaking of Kenley’s dress… We really didn’t love that print, even though the judges creamed over it.

We agreed about Keith and his “toilet paper caught in a windstorm” affair. It was le boring and le stupid.

We’re also not sure we agreed with Sandra’s assessment of Terri’s “fierce, sexy and in control – I have a knife and I will cut you up,” outfit.

We’re glad they didn’t send Jennifer home. We just really like her for some reason. Despite, or maybe because of the matronliness.

Also, they hated Emily’s so much, but in our eyes, Blayne’s was similar but worse. Okay, at least similarly bad.

Catpower’s skirt and blouse, we really really liked. It was hot. Even Heidi said she’d wear it.

People we think should have gotten more props: Jerell and though we hate to say it, Suede. But seriously look at Jerell's dress. That is freaking gorgeous.

Next week: screaming.

Right at the beginning of the episode, when they're choosing models, Jerell said something we didn't get: saucey? salty? Anyone know?

Anyhow, they send those salty models out to go shopping and we really felt for the designers. It was a train wreck over at Mood.

Suede continues to talk about himself in the third person, only now other people start noticing and make fun of him. Thank god. "Suede is a bisexual Sagittarius who talks about himself in the third person."

Korto gets paranoid.

Leanne reminds us more and more of Catpower. In fact, we're just going to start calling her Catpower, if that's cool with everyone.

Natalie Portman has a vegan shoe collection. Hmmm. Catpower is very excited about her being the guest judge. Suede talks about carrying her around on his hand, which... we're glad this doesn't happen. For Natalie's sake.

Okay. Why do Jerell and Terri keep getting passed over? Both last week and this week, we thought their outfits were awesome.

Right off the bat, we knew Wesley was going down. "Yuck," was our exact sentiment.

Also, we liked Korto's dress. Unlike the judges. And they liked Kenley's dress. Which we did not.

And then Catpower's model threw her under the bus! Which just doesn't make since. She's so not going to get chosen next challenge.

Suede's did turn out better than we had originally thought, but we wouldn't have let him win just because we really didn't want to hear him say, "Suede fucking rocked it." Shiver.

Will Korto turn out to be the crier of this season?

Next week: Panchos!

Each of the 16 contestants in a phrase:

Jerell – Hot former model
Blayne – obsessed with tanning
Stella – what’s up with her voice?
Jennifer – girl next door
Jerry – well it doesn’t matter anymore now
Suede – talks about himself in the 3rd person
Leanne – silent fashion assassin
Joe – straight guy
Emily – Smoke & Mirrors (a song we like by the Magnetic Fields)
Terri – Aerosmith meets Lauryn Hill meets Michael Jackson?
Keith – thinks he’s “born gifted”
Kenley – flower in her hair
Daniel – worships Chihuahuas in nature
Korto – do they have kale in Arkansas?
Kelli – tattoed from Ohio
Wesley – creepy white guy

Austin Scarlett, fabulous winner of the original Gristedes challenge (corn husk dress), shows up to guest judge.

Apparently most of the designers had a game plan called tablecloth.

Oh except Terri: “My strategy, mop heads, mop heads, mop heads.” And in our opinion, it was an awesome strategy and a darn cute top.

And Stella: “There’s no difference between garbage bags and leather.” Makes you wonder when the last time she took out the trash was.

Anyhow they get back and start working, except Stella who makes her realization and kind of moons around for a long time.

Tim comes in and calls them all a bunch of slackers. This inspires some people to jazz up their tablecloths a bit more.

The models come in to be fitted and one of the designers refers to one of the model’s boobs as “puppies.”

We’re pretty much cringing in anticipation of a horrible runway show, but actually most of them pull it off.

Well Jerry, as you know, get’s aufed. And the judges are super harsh with him saying things like: “It was visually freaky,” and “It looked like a handi-wipe gone wrong,” and “hospital plumber,” and “an outfit to murder someone in.” Poor Jerr.

But that’s not quite as bad as what they said about Blayne’s train wreck of a dress: “Playboy bunny gone grunge,” and “It looks like an old diaper pushed between her legs.” So nasty. Barforama.

Stella, surprisingly, pulled off something, even if it was lame and just trash bags and Heidi thought it was “butt ugly.” One wonders if that’s a phrase she uses a lot.

Korto got points from Austin for using fresh produce.

Daniel got props from all the judges for having the confidence to use plastic cups for a molded dress.

But it was Kelli who won the day with her marble-dyed vacuum bags and burned coffee filter dress.

Next week: Natalie Portman! OMG, she is so hot.

The whole interview is short and worth watching but we had a few favorite parts:

1) He disses crocs as worse than sandals and socks. We agree! But of course being Tim, he puts it all very eloquently. Something about how "the era of the croc" is a harbinger of the "sloppification of America."

2) An apt description if we ever heard one, “Cindy McCain looks like someone has twisted her ponytail into a knot and tried to give her a facelift.”

3) He describes Vincent Libretti from Project Runway Season 3 as the "most kickable."