“Ben has that Esprit look.” Which... Well this is what we think of when we think of Esprit...

Ronnie gets dissed for having “the same pose, the same head turn and the same look everytime.” Ruh roh, girl… But then the same guy who says this has the weird line about Ronnie's "needing to be slapped around." That guy's a little gross.

While on the other hand, Ronnie is totally stoked and even asks for the banana himself. Different strokes… Also please refer to blog entitled “This Show is Bananas.” Also these guys ask Ronnie, “Are you uncomfortable being around other guys? Other guys touching you?” To which we (and Jennifer Starr, who's kind of a fave around here) crack up and Ronnie and replies, “Oh no!”

Speaking of Ronnie's guy love, here's his coming out story.

Also Perry doesn’t impress that one hot chic because he’s running his mouth as usual. Way to go, bro. We’ve told him and told him to zip it up.

Holly having to talk during a shoot is horrible. Yes, she does need a voice coach. Badly. And like now.

Holly’s girlcrush Jessica Stam shows up. Perry says her eyes are piercing, but they kind of look like opium eyes to us. Perry makes us and probably her very uncomfortable by asking about a boyfriend. But he calls it “bf” which is what we call it, but then we’re very comfortable with our teenage girl slang.

They go to GQ and that one guy makes the most perfect comment about Ronnie’s look yet, “Ronnie = Ralph Lauren.” Yep.

Now for the awkward guest appearances. Ben’s wife shows up at the door and he’s like, “What’s up dude.” Meanwhile the other three are on the balcony and Holly whispers, “Divorce papers.” A strange moment no doubt. Followed by further stereotypical male communicativeness from Ben and his wife’s comment that she wants a Bronnie t-shirt. And then Ronnie and April meet and he says, “Awkward!” which is hilarious because that is the most awkward thing to say.

Ronnie’s mom shows up. She seems sweet, but we really hope that if nothing else this show garners Ronnie some boyfriend invitations. Ronnie’s mom says to April, “They’re just friends!” Which is hilarious.

Holly’s boyfriend shows up and she says she forgot how hot he was. We didn’t. But they are such a weird couple. What kind of weird tchotchke did he get her?

Amanda shows up for Perry and this is incredibly even more awkward than Ben’s wife’s appearance. She totally will not answer his questions about her fidelity, which in our opinion, is highly suspect. And Perry, strangely, just kind of accepts it and then later goes on a philosophical and God-filled ramble about their love. Yechh.

After the guests leave, the final four suddenly (after many episodes of cattiness) seem to get along really well.

We’re glad the show ended with a Dolce & Gabbana catwalk. How apropos. And despite our opinion about Ben’s modeling skills, he looks the best in a glitter suit.

We can’t believe Perry got cut right away! Ben predictably gets the boot. Then they commiserate about Holly beating them out. Not so outrageous boys. She’s damn good.

And of course she wins. Which we think is totally just and deserved. Not that we didn’t like Ronnie, but she kind of blows him out of the water in terms of variety and straight-up skills. Although we’re sure a lot of you will disagree. By all means, bring on the comments. But you gotta admit it’s kind of awesome when she pulls out her squirrel shootin’ impression at the end.

Seriously, we’re all geared up for the next season of this show already.

And last but not least, Andy Cohen interviews Casey (our fav) about being a bottom. Seriously.

Right at the beginning, Aryn goes right for the brainy. “A lot of us forgot it was a TV show.” Really, Aryn? That’s weird. That’s like forgetting you're at work and taking off your pants.

We love Andy Cohen, the guy loves his Bravo-phrases. He tells Dom that on the show he came off as “the mayor of excuses village.” Which Dom responds to with some more excuses. (Ten points to the first reader to post the name of the original "mayor of excuses village.")

When the final four walk in -- (and here's a sidebar -- “final four” doesn’t remind us of basketball, it reminds us of Battlestar Galactica - maybe these models are cylons?) someone in the office shouts out, “Hi, I’m Holly and I’m here to talk weird.” And then someone else says, “Squirrel gravy, shootin’ squirrels.”

Who came up with this “Bronnie”? It certainly wasn’t “America”. Unless America made the t-shirts too. The whole Bromance conversation is totally anticlimactic. But Ben says something strange like, “Ronnie plus alcohol minus sex equals a bad time.” Oh...kay. We’re gonna roll that one around for a bit. And then he gets in a real truism, “It’s good to be open minded and bad to be ignorant.” Thanks, Ben. If you’re so open-minded, why “no tonguing” with Ronnie? Andy said it was an assignment. Here's what Tyson said about it in his blog: "The reunion was cool. If I were hosting I would have asked Ben and Ronnie to just kiss now and get it out of the way because ultimately I think the fans are just waiting to see that."

Whatever, we’re so over Bronnie. Let’s move on to Capernicus (our name for Casey and Perry ). No, we’ll never forget that sexy photo shoot. And no, they totally didn’t answer the “are you guys bi?” question. And then they make our favorite half of Capernicus hold the snake again. Which seems kind of rude at first, but it seems like him and Lemon are old pals now. And they look real nice together.

But speaking of bi, when the cylons..ahem, models get asked if they had crushes on Niki and Tyson, Shannon says she had crushes on both of them. No wonder we like her so much.

And then speaking of Tyson and crushes, it’s good that he just finally admits his mancrush on Perry. We fell into a reverie picturing the two of them having a picnic on the beach together. Feeding each other grapes. Putting sunscreen on each other’s backs…

Why are they torturing us with that Serenade montage? We couldn’t cover our ears and eyes at the same time. And why are they not more embarrassed about it? Thank god Andy said what we were all thinking, “You guys actually think you’re good?” Then as if the Serenade montage wasn’t bad enough, they give us a nice long shit-talking montage. And then unsurprisingly it’s awkward afterward.

Oh but we love impressions. Especially catwalk impressions. Holly’s Dom is freaking hilarious. And then it’s pretty sweet when Niki bests Perry in a Jackie walk.

So wait, when did everyone makeout and how come we didn’t get to see that? Anyhow, we’re not surprised that Ronnie’s the best kisser. Gays are just better kissers and we defy America to prove differently.

Everyone rode Jacki for being bitchy and stuck up but then when she let one fly, Cory Bautista’s all like, “That’s not very ladylike.” What? Only dudes are allowed to fart? Lame. We agree with Niki’s husband. We liked Jacki more after that too.

So that was a fairly decent place saver, until next week when we find out who wins. We seriously don’t know. America’s so fickle and mysterious.

Also, can anyone tell us what's happening in this picture? Does it have something to do with endless games of charades they apparently played all the time?

Shannon. We totally want Shannon over to OUTzone HQ for lunch. We got to meet her at the exit interview taping this week, and the offer stands, Shannon. That girl is smart. Like, wicked crazy, nutty, smart. And mad – she seems really mad. And we don’t blame her – it does look like it totally sucked to be surrounded by Alpha males who totally can't seem to hold a civil conversation now that Frankie and Casey have left.

OUTzonetv.com: Still not over Casey.

Awkward moment between Ronnie and Perry. “Ben’s doing a really good job over there. His pictures look hot” Perry actually makes a face that looks like the one our Ohio uncles make when we introduce someone as our “partner” or “boyfriend” or worse, “spouse.”

Matthew Ralston has the hottest photo assistant in the world. The dude in the grey sweater who’s watching the monitor. We uhm…yeah, that dude is hot.

Quick series of pictures:

Perry, with no junk at all. Putting the lotion in the basket.

Ronnie kinda looks like Ray Bolger.

This picture is the best thing we've ever seen. You really can't learn confidence like that. We particularly liked it when Christian tells Ronnie to “be more straight.”

Watching Christian coach people on the Runway is like watching a bossy fifth grader, who actually turns out to be a genius. At first there's this -- "who the hell are you?" that gives way to this, "but he's always right..." kind of thing. Here are the words Christian uses to describe Ronnie: dopey, lazy, gay.
Christian’s a good kid, and he seems to know what he’s doing, and that’s the thing about a bravo-lebrity.

The most redeeming thing about Holly is how she occasionally mentions squirrels in a creepy, Deliverance, backwoods way. e.g. "I'm gonna kill the catwalk like it's a lazy squirrel." Picturing her sitting on the porch in a rocking chair with a gun is really fun.

We’re huge fans of a montage. And we liked the sort of jazz-music montage they’ve put together for the dressing of the models on the catwalk. Everyone's putting on clothes! "Hey! There's the make up guy! Oh hey! Are you going to walk down the runway too?! Good to see you! We're all in our underpants!"

Ronnie’s wears a turtleneck and his underwear.
Holly looks great in that wig. Seriously
Ben looks like he’s seven in that bow-tie.
Perry dancing down the catwalk is...again, Perry's kind of like your dorky uncle.
Ronnie’s sunglasses – there was a girl in the seventh grade who totally had those sunglasses.
None of the boys can really rock a suit.

You guys, you know what makes us really sad about Holly? Some day, she’s gonna get really really thin. Unpleasantly thin. Anybody else just want to save her now and tell her that we know it's all part of the process but it's not too late?

Tyson tells Ronnie that he's chillin at the bus stop. We're not sure what that means but it sounds bad. And then there's that conversation about the tuck job: Perry says "We've all done it," and Ben looks aghast. This brings us to an interesting point that came up in conversation about Ben. He has penis eyes. Like when he looks at you, you suddenly become uncomfortable because his eyes let you know he has a boner. This explains why he's got a face for fragrance ads.

The kid makes a good dress, though.

We'll throw up some more photos in the morning, but let us know your opinion gang. We totally love the attention.

The episode opens with Perry telling Casey, “If I lost you, I’d have nobody to joke with, nobody to make up skits with.” That’s sort of sweet. And weird. And totally theatre-camp dorky. And then Casey did get kicked off and we were all incredibly sad. Our Editorial Lead here at Outzone has had a major thing for Casey since the beginning, and we're going to risk our jobs to bring you the excerpt we got when he was riding back in the cab from interviewing Casey yesterday:

"I think I made an ass of myself. I actually said to him that I stopped listening because I was lost in his eyes. Out loud. That happened. In real life. He was totally cool about it, and even said that sometimes it happens to him, but I think he didn't know I wasn't kidding. In person he's a lot like that dude from college who was always playing guitar and might actually be cool with making out a little, provided there's enough weed around. I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon off and compose myself. Because I admit it. I'm totally gay for Casey. You're all fired if you forward this to anyone or print it in that damn blog."

We all had a real soft spot for that guy. But as a side note, what was up with that coat he was wearing? Did he find that coat somewhere? He looked sort of like a gay Cap'n Crunch.

How will Perry cope without a clique of pretty boys with long hair to do his bidding?

Everyone seems very catty with each other this week. They’re all bitching behind each others’ backs. Remember when they used to be sweeter and nicer?

Then there’s the tease of Ben and Ronnie sleeping in the same bed. Set up. Set up. No pay off. We're calling Production. That's it. Where is the long-awaited cuddling footage? Why the heck do they think we are watching this show? To see who’s the best model?

Oh wait, they do give us a nice shot of Perry scratching his junk. Oi.

The Gothic photo shoot is a hoot. Or a caw. Whatevs. We like that the crow’s named Dennis and that Dennis apparently understands English and that he pooped on Ben. Actually the crow is sort of the best part of this photo shoot. Except for the part where all of Shannon’s limbs fall asleep. That part is really just kinda nuts.

Everyone’s totally trashing Shannon this episode and we’d just like to go on the record with the fact that in our opinion -- she seems like the only person with half a brain in her head.

Perry refuses to eat turtle soup because he has a turtle named Clark. Why does this make us like him more? It does seem sort of fun to hang out with a guy with a turtle -- more fun than, say, going over to Holly’s for squirrel gravy.

These kids need to learn how to let loose. They went to party on Bourbon Street and it was totally lame. Aren’t they all like hot, virile, 21 year olds? Shouldn’t they have been swinging from balconies and making out with people and barfing in the street? Not that we weren’t impressed with their humanitarian house building. We were. That was cool. And it makes Perry realize that his girlfriend drama is insignificant. And it makes Holly totally break down.

Shannon says that Ronnie looked like a “Ken doll dressed as a vampire.” Heh. See that’s funny, unlike when Ronnie bashes her and it’s totally not funny at all. The catwalk coordinator calls their piece campy. Totally true. They’re all totally campy. Not just in this; really, it's all the time.

And then our worst nightmare happens. Shannon and Ronnie are up for the vote. It's like that time we went to that awful party downtown where there was a dance-off between Kylie Minogue and Madonna. And then voting afterwards. How can you choose?

Do it wisely, there's only a few more of these left.

Remember this amazing comment when everyone starts to get all whiney with their, “Shannon has too many walls up. We don’t really know Shannon.” Duh, she’s the snarky den mother, the troop leader with a sharp tongue and a heart of gold. Leave her the heck alone. Yes, we’re talking to you - Ronnie and Tyson.

Ugh. Also while they’re all working terribly hard to do something nice for Niki, they somehow get into this really juvenile screaming match. We know they’re all super young, but why have they reverted all the way to elementary school? We might have said this before, but it reminds of nothing so much as recess and everyone’s running around screaming about cooties and calling each other stupid heads.

Also. Theatre school.

Anyhow -- at Niki’s birthday bash, the boys start to sing and we’re like, “Oh no! It’s the return of "Serenade!" Run! Run for your life, Niki!” And she wipes away tears which maybe could have been from laughing but we know better. That was actual pain she was feeling.

And then some guy disses the girl for being… not slutty enough or something. His actual quote was, “I don’t want to admire you, I want to sleep with you.” Eeeewwww....

So, moving on to the video lookbook challenge. First of all, that scene where they’re all standing there trying to make expressions for the director… that was really the strangest thing we’ve ever seen. They all look like cro-magnons, with not-so-smoldering eyes and rubbery mouths. Really, hopefully this is the last challenge where they have to “act”.

And then there’s Casey. Poor, sweet Casey. When the director brought Perry in to replace him, we wanted to give him a nice consoling cuddle. And apparently we weren’t the only ones. Perry said to him right after that, “I’d rather have you straddle me.”

Again...

Yep. We’d rather that as well.

The shoot after that had the models acting like they were just moments away from “going to their private place.” First up, Casey and Holly and Casey gets booted again. Achhh. Then we’re onto Ben and Ronnie, which no one was expecting. And after a whole season of flirting and build up, we get… this...thing where nothing really happens. Not even a makeout. Just some terribly awkward groping.

Come on! We have serious office pools about these things!

So the director moves on to Ben and Holly. (And we really just can’t believe that there’s more sexual tension there than in the previous match up. But whatevs.) Sometime around this point, someone in the office yells, “Ben’s teeth really bother me so much. They’re just too big for his head.” Maybe that’s why he often doesn’t move his mouth enough when speaking. Like a ventriloquist.

On to this idea of “brand ambassadors” for Bloomingdales -- it’s like calling them “fashion diplomats”. Wouldn't something more realistic like, “Models who can speak,” work? Or, ooh, ooh ... “talking clothes hangers.” Ben gets dissed and then is like, “I don’t give a shit.” Because he’s so deeply absorbed in some magazine called, “Hot”.

We’re so proud of Casey for his confident salesmanship. Atta Boy!

The outfits for the catwalk are so cool. They all look amazing. Holly nails her walks. Shannon looks gorgeous. Ben flubs the thing with the watch. Ronnie’s first walk is… weird. Perry does his usual thing.

Then there’s the judging. Tyson, Niki and Corey all gang up on Ben about his attitude. And he’s like, “What? Whatever. Dude.”

Three boys are once again up for the vote. And so if it’s boys against girls, the girls totally kicked major ass once again this week. It’s getting to that point in the competition where it’s easier to screw up than to do well. Be careful America. Pick carefully.

So, this episode got a little dark, no? Right away this episode, we know something is off because it’s snowing. Well it’s not really the snow so much as Ronnie and Ben’s reaction to the snow. And each other. Awkward…

Judgement day. So we’re starting to suspect that America is male-centric. Either that, or good heavens, could the voters be...gay men? Goodbye Jacki darling. Ben and Perry return to the apartment and engage in what is our least favorite part of the show: The faux suspense at who the second person returning is and then the boys howl and rub up on each other in their strange wolf pack orgy ritual.

So they’re in the mountains and the winners will get to stay in a log cabin for the weekend. Why a log cabin? Tell us that’s not a reference to something. Poor Shannon. We were covering each other’s eyes because we were all waiting for an alien to come shooting out of her stomach.

Oh, right. This is reality TV. So anyhow, their photo shoot challenge is all about speed and motion and apparently falling down (which Niki neglects to mention). But actually, it’s sort of satisfying watching Perry fall down, over and over and over again.

On to the log cabin. And another awkward Ronnie/Ben moment where Ronnie says something about them sharing the queen bed and Holly makes a high school face and then they wake up in the morning in separate bunks.

Ugh. It’s starting to make us cringe. We like how Niki said – "you guys get a treat by getting to stay in a log cabin." Not only is that kinda...not really a treat, she neglected to say how they would be woken up by Clay screaming at them. He even goes so far as to call Casey a “twinkle toed candyass.” Rude. We like our little twinkle toes.

Maybe it’s this comment that unleashes the avalanche of strange and unpleasant homophobia by Ben. It starts with him calling Ronnie and Casey girls. Totally harsh and lame. Then he acuses Casey of being secretly gay. WTF Ben??!! Plus it’s not going to work. Homophobic comments actually just make you look more gay.

Actually don't even listen to us, listen to Tyson Beckford ream Ben for his behavior.

"I heard he said some really not nice things about being gay. There’s no tolerance for that. To me, that’s almost like calling a black person a n*gger. I’m not having that. I don’t want to endorse that. If that’s how you feel, then get out of my house. I so wanted to run up in his ass about that, because that’s not cool. People need to see that that’s not cool. Ronnie had to go to him and say, “Look, I got beat up for my sexuality. It’s not cool for you to talk bad about my sexuality,” and it’s not! There are a lot of other people who have gone through what Ronnie’s gone through where they’ve gotten beat up or were called names because of their sexuality, and that’s not cool. I have cousins who are gay and I’ve had to stand up for them and literally knock dudes out, like, “You’ve got a problem with my cousin just because of the way he is?” Dude, I will hurt you for that, don’t say that. Without Ronnie, Ben would have been out of this contest a long time ago, and to get to a point where he turned against him?"

Yeah Tyson, you tell him!

Oh hey! There are new photos in that ever expanding "Supermodel Gallery." Check them out!

Back to New York where we learn that models are pigs. Shannon and Holly and Ben are supposed to clean the whole apartment. Shannon says she really enjoys cleaning. She’s such a den mother, stage manager type. Holly’s apparently also a vacuum cleaner virgin. Hmmm.

Oh geez, here comes the processey conversation between Casey, Ronnie and Ben about Ben’s boorish behavior. Wait. That wasn’t processing. They maybe need a special guest lesbian processing coach to show them how it’s done. Ben’s contrite, everything fine. Supposedly. A little too allright, if you ask us.

Aww. Perry and Frankie are spooning. The straight boys in the house really are so affectionate with each other. How come none of the straight guys we know are like that?

Ronnie says, “One of my greatest fears, outside of heights, is conflict.” Which reminds us of Perry’s greatest fear. Ghosts. Is no one scared of terrorists or waking up ugly?

Oh Shannon, don’t die! We’re really worried about her. If something happened to her, the rest of the models would drown in a sea of their own dirty dishes.

The catwalk challenge is strange. It seems like they’re going to get their legs cut off and then have to spin around in circles. That is challenging. Shannon returns, looking pretty bad, and Frankie totally trash talks about how he would barf walking down the runway rather than go to the hospital. First of all… gross. And second of all… yeah right. Remember when we said he was less irritating? We take it back. He’s still just as irritating.

So Holly, Perry and Ronnie kick ass. Shannon survives. And Frankie, Casey (Cory on Casey’s walk: “It sucked, it sucked, it sucked”) and Ben land in the bottom three. Although… when you think about it… bottom three has kind of a nice ring to it.

Oh America, what will you decide?

Here's the main take-away from this week's episode: Frankie's girlfirend is named Frankie. And that was really confusing to the people editing their online diaries for a while. They thought it was a typo, and kept changing "Frankie" to "Baby" -- sorry, real life Frankie. Girl Frankie.

We also realized how much we like Shannon. We really do. So much so that one of us had a dream we were cuddling with her, but she was too tall and her legs hung off the bed. Anyhow, this whole conversation about respect... And wait, first let us say that Perry is getting more and more... adolescent as the show goes on. But the conversation - can people not just say, "Hey,
douchebag do the dishes," instead of making it into this whole processey, long-winded issue?

Watching them watch their Valentine's Day messages is adorable. Ben's wfie looks sweet, but their dog looks like it has lethal gas. Is Ben's dog named Butch? He seems like he really misses Butch. Also it seems like Holly is finally starting to lose some of her prudishness, when she grostequely swirls her tongue around at her video boyfriend and then talks about what a dirty boy Ronnie is and seems less defiled by it than in previous weeks.And Holly's bf is hot. Super ridiculous hot. Kinda.

We're really starting to worry about Ronnie. What's made him lose his edge and screw up his walk and stuff? Is it his crush on Ben? We liked Ben and Ronnie's whole Velvet Goldmine routine. But then we would. Also by the way Ronnie and Ben are becoming like Pam and Jim (from The Office) to us. As in, the main reason we watch the show. Not to mention the whole thwarted love, we're just friends who really get each other thing.

Does anyone else think that if Ronnie had developed an unnatural crush on Casey, the show would be a whole different animal? Cuz...we totally have a thing for him, and those boys always end up being sweet...and troubled. His talk about how he doesn't believe in love -- really made us (and about five million 15 year old girls) want to try to change his mind abou that. We think he's a cool dude, that Casey. And we think, that by the looks of his "kissing tips" -- he's probably really good at it.

This whole "we're actors slash models" is a little weird. We have a hard time believing that Perry has any kind of acting background. If he does, we're going to suggest training. Or Soap Operas actually. It's very showy, his acting. Even when his girlfriend is accusing him of stuff. OMG, if he calls her Baby one more time, we're going to collectively slug him one for her. And his way of appeasing the situation is to demand that she say she wants to be with him forever? That's his big solution. Demanding her to take responsibility for a thing he might have done? Geeze Louise.

Which...quick poll. Who thinks he's telling the truth about that New Year's kiss? After Perry hangs up with his girlfirend, he says, "after talking to my boys (Casey and Frankie) -- I figured out that everyone feels the same way about love..." Which is not at all how that conversation goes, by the way.

Casey says he's fairly agnostic about love. Frankie is DESPERATE for affection at all times. And Perry needs to know that the girl he loves will stay for him forever, no matter what he does. None of those things are the same.

What we keep forgetting about this show, and what this episode reminded us of -- is that all these people are like, 21 years old. And they're all away from home, and missing their s.o.'s. And they're horny. Really. That's the trouble here. And also the mystery.

You get all these hot young boys and girls living together in a house (thanks Real World!) and there is like absolutely no heterosexual attraction going on. The sexes stick together. Which is pretty gay, but also sort of reminiscent of the era where cooties were the biggest problem. Fine. We'll take it.

“This is like a fraternity. Except really good looking.”

At the time someone says this, Perry is wearing a weird mustache and talking in some kind of an accent. And everyone else (except, let it be noted, the girls) is playing some weird theatrical persona. Seriously, we’re not totally sure that the producers of this show aren’t lying to us, and just filming the freshman dorms at NYU. Are the guys doing trust falls and voice warm ups every morning before breakfast?

Because really, it’s WAY too gay to be anything like a fraternity. Well, unless it’s one of those fraternities that we read about in “First Hand.” Remember that? (We’re not as young as we seem…)

The only one who acts remotely non-prudish about is Frankie, but then he goes overboard and throws his robe off before he even gets to the middle of the room like he’s expecting a round of applause for his giant…hair.

Predictably Holly is flipping out about this assignment. (She says “nekkid” like a southern grandma.) And then she flips out again because she’s practically “nekkid” and a bunch of people are painting her. We’re really over sick of her whole prude, virgin routine. Even Christians went to camp, right? She acts like she’s never even been naked. Does she wear a bathing suit in the shower?

Okay, if anyone out there has any idea what that tattoo is on Ben’s arm, please let us know. We cannot stop puzzling over it. And is it our imagination or is rainbow colored?

Okay, then there's this:

Okay. So, this was a tricky week for our photo editor.

The poor guy was inundated with photos of naked people. And he wasn’t allowed to use a whole lot of them.

So, in his effort to find something he can use, he came across this series of the boys eating a banana.

The less said about this strip, the better. We made a photo gallery, though...

Let’s talk for a minute about the art installation. These are events that you really have to be present for in order to get them, and they really don’t translate well to television. They’re AWESOME if you’re like, a freshman theatre major at NYU, but… that’s pretty much the extent of it.

Let’s not get the thing wrong here, we love us some MakeUp For Ever. In fact, we just published Malan’s blog, where he mentioned that he’s actually using them for his show. No kidding. They’re a big deal. But this reminded us kind of “X-Men” and a little like “Blue Man Group.” But instead, and this is where things got a little tense in the office – they’re not blue. But can we say “Black Man Group?” Is that allowed?

Also -- Frankie should not rap. And he is not like a meteor. Please stop egging him on, boys.

The photo shoot was pretty awesome this week. We love all the girls’ hair. It’s just like Tipping the Velvet! Sigh.

Finally. Let’s talk Tyson’s line about Perry: “If I was a girl, I’d date him.” You guys, what if this show turns out to be so gay that male supermodels start crossing lines, and Perry and Tyson start dating? We totally get that – boy, that’s never going to happen – but this is one of those rare shows where NOTHING seems out of the realm of possibility.

This show is gayer than straight dudes wrestling in their underwear, until they decide it's time to begin licking one another. Again. Oh wait...

There's something about it, though, that has to be freaking out squares all across this country. Also, the grandparents of everyone who's on the show. It kinda freaks us out. It's a little like watching "The L Word" with your Dad. We almost wish we had an adult around the offices to put a pillow over the screen for a minute.

Real quick backtrack: Last week, this blog was written by some gay dudes. And there has been a bit of a kerfuffle at OUTzone HQ about the line: "These are the ladies we want to go play in the surf with." Mostly, this flack has come from the gay ladies on staff. So, we want to be clear. This week, we're evenly matched in our gay lady to gay dude ratio, (but not in a "Sexual Chemistry Challenge" kind of match).

(Although...)

So then, just now, we got the photos. We've been talking about building a photo gallery function on OUTzone for a long time. And this pretty much...sped that plan along. We'll get it up later today and let you know.

But, here's a sneak peek:

And then...

Here's a line spoken out loud across the office tonight: "Femme on femme is not totally my thing, but it's all the rage." The general concensus here is that banana was not terribly inventive. Wouldn't a zucchini have been more overt? Or at least, funnier? Oh yeah, and the really hot photographer with the Cleopatra eyes saying "not like friend, like sexual," and then "yeah, no bra is good," -- we liked her. A lot.

We like that she picked the pairs. You know, come to think of it, we also really liked the photographer last week, who had them all swinging from harnesses. How did we not know that there was such a wide range of hot lady-photogs?

Stephanie seemed enthusiastic. Not that we... we don't think she was you know, INTO it. It's hard to say, because let's be clear -- she could be INTO it and not be gay. In fact, Perry says it himself, "I'm so into this right now." Good for you, dude. It doesn't HAVE to be "all about the work." You can like it if you want. Doesn't mean you're anything but a red-blooded straight dude licking another red-blooded straight dude.

Really, far be it for us to discourage any straight people from trying gay sex or even mock gay sex with photographic and video evidence on the national television. We're not accusing any of the aspiring models of being gay, except Ronnie, who we're now accusing of being bisexual. Which brings us thing with the vibrating beds...

First of all, they have vibrating beds?

Where are our vibrating beds? Seriously, we're exhausted, we've been here all night. What other exciting stuff do they have up in that place? Is there a secret torture dungeon downstairs, complete with sling -- staffed by the upcoming cast of Top Chef 4?

(Did you see the commercial, have you seen the website? We don't actually know because we haven't asked yet but -- the upcoming season looks to have "lesbian coven" written all over it. Who knows?)

Anyway, back to the Aryn, Ben, and Ronnie impending vibrating nap -- that dude's married! To a lady! Back off! Like whiskey or poppers, a good piece of vibrating furniture can lead to all sorts of things. Shirts get ripped off, it looks like college for a few minutes, and then suddenly, everyone tries to remember that they're on TV.

Frankie is the meanest bitch in town. Kinda.

Here's something -- why cut off Holly's hair, and not Frankie's? It'd be a lot easier to deal with. In fact, Frankie would be a lot easier to deal with if he had short hair. Those girls totally aren't wrong. He really is trying to rock a sort of "Fabio" thing. And who knew the girls could all do such awesome impressions of Frankie modeling? Each impression different. Each fantastic.

Shannon says she's going to turn Ronnie straight, or at least be his first girlie action. He's never been with a girl before. In lesbian speak, when a girl has never slept with a dude, she's called a "gold star" -- we just came up with a few gay male equivalents. Top of our heads.

1. Silver Sword
2. Ball of Yarn
3. Pink Heart
4. Yellow Moon.
5. Purple Horseshoe

Here's all we'll say about the pairings of Jay and Aryn, and then Holly and Frankie. They kind of look like they're moving furniture. It's like those movies with the bored french prostitute, who's thinking about other things while she's working. Holly and Frankie, they probably should have just started to slap each other, and it would have been hotter. On the runway, Frankie says he's a "very sexual person." Which you just don't really say if you really are. Right?

You know who's growing on us? Shannon.

Our first impression of her was from the casting special where she walked toward the camera and said, "The most interesting thing about me is that I'm really a man." And we thought, "hooray!" and then she kept talking and more and more started to seem like that angsty girl from theatre school. Is Shannon a vegan?

Seriously. Casey's wearing knee pads in this picture. That's all there really is to say about that.

Shannon and Ronnie should do a vaudeville routine, where one of them plays a horse, but they BOTH wear the riding hats.

Tyson says, no kidding, the truest and best words we've ever heard: "A Supermodel always finds a way." You're right man, Goonies never say die. Also when he says that, you can't help but picture a model with a gunrope pointed at a balcony -- rushing to the aid of Christian from "Project Runway," who is wailing histrionics into the night.

Alright. That's enough for this week. Tune in next week. We're all placing bets on the next challenge. So far we've come up with:

1. Have to climb a greased pole with some Navy Seals.
2. The Olivia Cruise line challenge.
3. Seduce your way out of this pile of marbles.

It pretty much just goes on from there...feel free to leave a challenge idea of your own on the comment boards below.

You can also check out the special extended naughty-bits scenes, exclusively here on OUTzone.

Okay, so we've been watching our comrades over at Bravotv.com slave away at the website for "Make Me a Supermodel," and we decided the time has come that we share our own particular OUTzone spin on this. There's just too much gay. We thought it last week, and then we saw this week's episode. We can go through all the "this show is gayer than a..." jokes, but we really just hope that you'll fill in that blank yourself.

This show is gayer than two dudes holding hands while they're getting their asses waxed. Oh. Wait. That actually happens.

First, let's take a look at a few of the photos...

How did Ronnie get this gig? Is it the young and thin and good-looking part? Because seriously, it's like dreams we had when we were teenagers.

Our photo editor found these.

Okay, we're going to admit, that our photo editor found these when we asked him to look through and find us pictures of everyone in g-strings. Which he refused. Wisely. So then we said, we need gay pictures.

Again. Seriously.

We have no idea what it means when someone is "girlfriend pretty but not model pretty." These are some seriously pretty girls. All of them. And folks are saying this about quite a few of these ladies. We're going to go ahead and say that these kids got on the show for a reason, and it aint because they're girlfriend pretty. These are the kinds of girls that make us a little shaky in the knees. The kinds of girls we could only hoped to have as roomates in college. These are the ladies we want to go play in the surf with.

Also, is it us, are do they all kind of look like Alison Kelly from Project Runway three?

And then there's the boys. Who are...well, they call themselves a wolf pack. We're all for the metaphor, cuz it's both gross and a little sexy, but...ew. Also, one of the staffers at bravo proper told us that Ronnie's blog includes a key passage wherein he admits to lighting his farts like the rest of them.

Which...we can't...with that.

We love the model makeover sequence. Pretty much in any movie any of us have ever seen, the makeover sequence is the best one. "Earth Girls are Easy" "Annie" "Teen Witch" -- these are classics.

Here's the part we really loved. Jennifer Starr (who's kinda awesome in real life, btw) turns to a model and says, as they're all standing there in Heatherette clown festival glitter pants -- and says, "we're having a hard time seeing who you are." Yeah, well. They've really put on the dog for this challenge.

This is no-fooling fashion.

You shouldn't show up to Easter in this. Not at all.

Tyson calling out Ronnie's crush on Ben happening on the runway -- that made us nervous. Doesn't that guy work in a prison? We're not saying there aren't some marvelous romances in prison, and that the prisoners aren't going to understand that it's all in good, you know, unrequited fun, but Ben's married. To a lady. Trouble.

Sparkly...handsome...rough...trade...trouble.

Anyway, check back next week. They thought it'd be a good idea to ask us what we thought of the show. Which means we'll be scouring the photo archives.

Really. Seriously. Frankie...